I was having breakfast at a restaurant, and seated at the table nearest to me were two older ladies, one of whom was loud enough that I could hear what she was saying.

She was saying "females" need to do more to reach out and grab opportunity like they used to (I assume she was referring to second-wave style women's lib, breaking into the workplace, etc.? very confusing tbh). This was after some comments about female athletes that I caught the end of, she was saying how crazy the world is now and I think she was saying now that trans women are being included in women spaces.

I'm sitting to her left, and more than anything else I just wanted to ask her if she thought I was a woman. Instead I sat and listened to her talk at her friend about how much a victim Zelenskyy is because he didn't get enough support from Biden (!?), and that the U.S. military has fallen behind other countries and we're losing arms races (!!??), how she prays to God about it all, etc.

I think there's something wrong with me if my reaction to publicly aired transphobic comments is the desire for validation from the transphobe.

First of all, she's clueless and didn't clock me so I should have some sense of whether she perceives me as a woman, and second of all, her opinion is worthless precisely because she didn't clock me.

I tell myself what I want to know is what I'm doing wrong, so I can finesse my passing or at least be aware of my limitations & weaknesses and mitigate them. I've realized most cis people (and maybe especially older, conservative, or transphobic people) notice minor gender differences less and are more likely to overlook those differences.

But maybe this is less rational and more psychological, maybe it's just more satisfying to pass in front of a transphobe, maybe it's more emotionally validating if the person who thinks the world is crazy for letting men into women's restrooms sees that "man" is a woman.

Sorry, this story feels self-absorbed. I think this is like a confessional or something.

Some possible discussion topics:

• tips or observations on how to overcome these insecurities?
• any stories of interactions with transphobes of your own you want to share?
• thoughts on Biden's absolutely tragic failure as a president to provide sufficient aid to Zelenskyy in his moment of need?

I mean I am AFAB and I do identify as a girl but also I don't feel entirely binary. I guess I wasn't assigned Nonbinary at birth but it still feels weird to say I'm trans when I'm AFAB and present and act like and call myself a girl. I don't know, help me out here people.

A person I've shared circles with and considered a friend for years, today said the quiet part out loud and spouted transphobia.

I feel like I'm experiencing years of retroactive fear for my proximity to her all at once and its incredibly overwhelming.

If anyone has any good vibes to send my way I'd be so grateful.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

This helped me procese some of my worries and fears, so I thought I'd share it here. Rather old article, but surprisingly good.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Does anyone have a link to the robot comic, the one with the war robot that wants to be a civilian robot and is trans coded. I saw it on blahaj before but can't find it again

Tell us what songs that aren't explicitly trans resonate with you!

For example, I challenge anyone to listen to Dream Theater's The Spirit Carries On, imagine it's your old self singing to you, and tell me you don't get The Feels (that includes you, boys!). And alright, I admit that album's pretty borderline, but I hope you get the point.

im so confused, in my source im a guy and i’ve never questioned it but i love having a feminine body. i don’t really feel like a girl as a gender but i feel really good in a feminine body.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

For many years I thought I was a boy
But it always felt like I wasn't real.
I fantasize about having a feminine body,
But I'm not really trans.
It's just an act
So that I can get HRT
And change my name
And be a girl.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22882552

I'm 30, transfem, and to be quite honest, I feel my will to live slowly slipping away. I'm trying to find the willpower to finish my PhD thesis and to get into a better living situation after that, but I find myself frozen and wanting to curl up into a tiny ball of nothingness instead. And there are LOTS of reasons for that, mostly centered around trauma, guilt, and shame.

I don't think I can fit everything I need to say in a succinct post, so if it isn't against the rules, would any of you fellow girlies be willing to shoot me a DM and give some advice? I don't think I can really explain without having a back-and-forth conversation... thanks in advance. 🏳️‍⚧️💜

Hello fellow everyone my name is CyaraKaira transgender woman originally from Uganda… I fled my home country due persecution that resulted from the Anti-homosexual bill. I fled to Kenya where I was put in a refugee camp. Here I faced a lot of persecution more than what I faced from my home country. I beaten several times, stripped naked, cut with machetes andremovedd on several occasions. My life was really hell that I had to flee to South Sudan a war country and mostly with hostile people. You may ask I chose this country it’s because I had no choice honestly but it was the nearest to where I was. I’m currently facing lots of challenges including lack of food and medication. I have been sick for week now but have no help. I will be glad for your support to access medication any donations will mean a lot. I’m also will to share my story because I have a lot to share. Thank you

https://gofund.me/bd40a4f9

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

According to capitalism, I don't exist.

I was in a mood the other day, and went looking at tacky Christian cross pendants. There's a huge variety of them, from real Baltic Amber to cheap acrylic to sterling silver to hand carved mahogany. I started to dive deeper and found ones plastered with stars and stripes, and found ones covered with a big gay rainbow. So I kept digging and... I couldn't find one with a trans flag.

Sometimes I feel very, very alone as a trans Christian, and this was one of those times. I know it's tacky, I know mashing up religious iconography is problematic, I know that if it existed I wouldn't even want one, I know that a product needs a customer... And if there's no product, then there's no customer, and I don't exist.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22392872

The word futa or futanari is a term I unfortunately see used against trans women and actual intersex people. It is a term which originated in porn and anime to describe someone with both types of genitals, usually though it just refers to someone who looks feminine and has a penis. So it's no surprise it's very often used to describe non-op trans women primarily. Because it's often used in porn it carries strong connotations of sexualization and dehumanization, it reduces the person being called futa to an object of sexual desire and doesn't respect them as a person.

This term is extremely disrespectful and really has no place being used, especially in reference to trans women. Additionally because of its relation to porn people who use it will almost certainly be seen as chasers.

The video by Forrest valaki discusses a large series of scientific concepts around gender, sexuality and sex. It has an entire scientific research team credited in the description and 377 references but of course transphobes don't care and would rather look like a fool throwing play ground insults around. This whole video and interaction made my day. Transphobes can be a very funny bunch.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22341287

Hello gamers,

the first version of the pitch overlay is now available on github. It works on Linux and is somewhat of a mess for Windows (it will be fixed in the coming days, read the documentation).

Obviously it's open source, so feel free to mess with it!

Any feedback is appreciated, report bugs and stuff via github.

Here is the link: Yippie Link

Read the readme! Don't be like me!

If you don't know what I'm referring to, check this post

Tl;dr: It's a tool similar to the app voice tools to help you see your voice's current pitch, to potentially aid in voice training while at your puter :3