I'm proud of you for making this post Uni. I wish you all the best.

To everybody else, I and many other matrix regulars can vouch for her. She is legit.

My uncle died of pancreatic cancer last summer, and I was pretty close to him. He was like my surrogate father after my real one died when I was ten. I'd been wanting to tell him for a long time and didn't know how he'd react but eventually...I just didn't. I decided that deep down in his heart he knew that I was different and still loved me, even if I never told him and he probably wouldn't understand it fully. He was dying anyway so I figured it wouldn't do much good to tell him since he'd be gone. I'll never know what would have happened had I told him and how he'd react, but my last words to him were "I love you" and I am at peace with that. I still haven't processed his death fully, honestly. Grieving comes when it comes and sometimes it goes away for a while and comes back in full force. It shows up in strange, unrecognizable ways. I used to draw and paint a lot and I just...stopped after his death. I don't know why.

But anyway...I don't have good advice for you. You just have to accept it. Stand by a creek, let the wind blow through your hair. Have the pain in your heart, carry that weight, then get stronger and more able to carry it and let go. There's no easy answers in situations like this. Cancer sucks. I hate cancer. I wish cancer was eradicated from the face of this planet. It's gonna suck. But you'll get through it. It'll be hard. But you'll keep going and eventually it won't be quite as bad. You'll find a way to come to terms with it in your own way and when you're ready.

Cis men are heavily outnumbering even binary trans women right now...I think this leaked onto all

I will do literally anything but finish the essay that was due two days ago

Pro: faster metabolism, I can eat more

Con: faster metabolism, I have to eat more

I was at a summer camp a while ago and there was this pre-transition trans man who was also there. Eventually as the camp progressed and everyone got to know each other better, I told some of the queer people there I was trans so they could relate to me better.

This person, I kid you not, said "Ha, I knew no one from cowboycrustation's state would have a name like cowboycrustation's name!"

I was like...wtf. My name irl isn't one of those names like fern or star that aren't common among cis people. My name is a somewhat common men's name. I literally have a cousin with the same name.

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.

That's such a sweet interaction. Us trans people can definitely sniff out our own much better than cis people can. He was so sweet to hand you all those resources. We need more people like him in the world.

I definitely recommend visiting the church. Churches are one of the best ways to find tight knit community who will help you in your time of need in most red states (ESPECIALLY rural areas or small-ish towns). It's also a good place to help other people through church ministries such as clothes closets, soup kitchens, crowdfunding for someone in need, etc. An openly queer church is a MAJOR bonus.

I'm not a Christian at all and likely will never be, but I still go to church because it is a very good hub for community and I live in a rural area. My main thing is singing in the choir and I mostly tune out the sermons, haha. My church isn't like accepting accepting, they don't go out of their way to help queer people specifically or talk about it much at all, but there's not much judgement around it either. I still feel really lucky that I found a church like that, though. Point is you are VERY lucky to have a church like that near you and I heavily encourage you to try it out. Lutherans generally have a good reputation for progressive theology and activism. I'm very excited for you!

I really hope that Nex will get justice and that there will be an independent investigation into this because this is a load of bullshit.

Do they think we're stupid? Even if the cause of death was suicide (which we don't know for sure, because the autopsy is shady AF.) it's a known fact that getting a concussion can make people suicidal. Either way, the girls who attacked him are responsible for his death. Pouring water on someone does not justify killing them.

I stink now. Wasn't expecting it to happen so soon (bout two and a half months low dose) Have to change my boxers more often than I used to and shower more (the horror). I smell more sour.

T made me more emotionally stable. I'm way less depressed than I used to be despite not changing much about my life. I used to wake up and the default would be sad, now I wake up and feel neutral (not in a numb antidepressant way, just in a normal way) most days. Worked way better than any antidepressant I've been on. Wasn't expecting that to happen. I've heard people say they're happier on T. Feels like I'm on default mode nowadays. Never felt that way before.

Occasionally I'll have dreams of... anger? I'll be asleep dreaming and feel angry, then when I wake up I'll be normal again.

Also I've been getting more bloated after eating or drinking anything. Apparently T can increase water retention.

After consistently passing as a man, I noticed that women that I meet are much more guarded around me than before. I definitely have to make more of an effort to appear "safe" to strangers.

Another thing is that I can get away with previous behaviors more without as much social repercussion. Due to being neurodivergent, I've always been socially unaware of things, never really tried to be polite or say all of the socially acceptable niceties as often as expected. People used to perceive me as "rude" or a "bitch" and now I'm just "blunt" and "get to the point." When I'm not in a talkative mood I used to be "cold" and now I'm just "preoccupied."

I wish they'd listen to our voices instead of infantalize or demonize us. We're just people, not all bad, not all good, just like everybody else. Just happen to be trans.

Basically people noticed the colors of Blahaj were similar to that of the trans flag. They'd take funny pictures of Blahaj in weird places. After the meme took off, IKEA made a couple of references and leaned into it, which made it even more of an icon.