[-] SquishedFly 2 points 2 days ago

Man, my prediction with my paintball gun was on point. The Mission 4 is literally the paintball gun I have, modified to shoot with CO2 capsules. Modded Tippmann TMC elite, it even still has the Tippmann logo molded into both the lower receiver and the grip

I can tell you from experience, the TMC is very reliable and effective but maybe not the most accurate (although I suspect that this is more of a skill issue on my part)

Umarex has something very similar with their T4E lineup. Basically co2 paintball markers (chambered down from .68 cal to .50 or .43) that are made to look like a real gun (like their glock 17 or PPQ, both of which I was thinking about buying back when I had money) that can also shoot pepper balls or rubber balls for self defense. I've heard though that the pepper balls aren't as effective as a dedicated spray.

[-] SquishedFly 2 points 2 days ago

From that description, it almost sounds like my paintball gun :D

In all seriousness though, if it's new then i'm 99% sure that it's allowed considering our government. Never heard of them tho

[-] SquishedFly 10 points 2 days ago

I work in IT. You don't want to know what horrors I have seen when it comes to password management TwT

[-] SquishedFly 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

That's actually really cool.

I'm just sadly not in the US. if you'd want to apply for a carry permit here you'd need to prove that you're at higher risk of being targeted (like being a politician, minorities don't really count...). Even so, since after a recent school shooting our government is overhauling the gun law, I'll probably won't ever be able to own a gun at all ever.

Long story short: every man at age 18 has to get a check if they are fit for the military or civil service and have to chose one if they are. The school shooter didn't pass the psychological test at the military but passed the gun owners permit psych eval. And now they are considering banning people who fail the psych evaluation from the military from ever getting a gun, which would include me since I was still registered as male at that time.

The only hope I have is that they see during the gun ownership evaluation that I'm female so I didn't have to go to the military evaluation and ignore that.

Would really suck if I couldn't because I'm a pretty big gun fanatic...

(Country is Austria btw)

[-] SquishedFly 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm actually even going above the 3-2-1 rule. I've got 4 copies: 2 permanently off-site (1x cloud, 1x local off-site) and one permanently with me.

Edit: all of them are encrypted

[-] SquishedFly 44 points 2 days ago

Life became so much easier when I started using a password manager. Now I just have to worry about losing literally everything if my PC with the password file dies ;v;

[-] SquishedFly 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The "gun" i mentioned is a pepper gun. It is a small plastic gun-like thing in the price range of 30-50€ and shoots pepper like a pepper spray

Edit: where I'm from, carrying an actual gun is pretty much illegal for regular civilians

50
submitted 2 days ago by SquishedFly to c/mtf

I probably won't answer many comments. I'm also not gonna make what I say sound more pretty... Sorry.

I've seen the memes like "trans people have a hell beam that came with HRT" come up more and more often. We do. It's called pepper spray. Please learn from my mistakes and get one before you regret not having one. Carry it with you daily, in a pocket where it is easy to reach, ideally with your dominant hand. It's not a problem for us tomboy- ish cargo pants lovers, but if you are cursed with female pockets, get one you can clip into a pocket or your waistband. If you tuck your shirt in too then consider buying a pepper gun like a guardian angel that you can carry inside the waistband. And I can't stress this enough, you won't be able to find your pepper spray fast enough if you just throw it into a purse.

Regardless if it's someone getting really aggravated at you being trans or if someone starts to masturbate while looking at you on public transport and following you through the train when you get up and leave, regardless if you use it or not. Even just having it as a backup is extremely important.

I didn't bring those examples up for nothing, both things, and even worse, happen (happened to me, friends and family too, trans and cis) and we are just as vulnerable - if not more - than most other people. The only way we can protect ourselves against a guy twice our strength and weight is by playing unfair. If you need to, use pepper spray. If they have you restrained, bite, poke in their eyes, and the first chance you have, run. Speaking of which, learn how to run fast for a short period of time. If you already do running from time and time again, do a sprint at the end of your session.

If you want to learn actually stuff about self defense, I personally can recommend getting some Krav Maga courses. It's a fighting technique that focuses on getting the fuck out of a situation. I sadly don't have the money for it anymore but I will pick it back up.

This world can be cruel and that comes from someone who lives in one of the safest areas in the world. The point of all of this isn't to make you scared of everyone and everything. I'm saying this because I want you to be able to stand tall and proud despite everything because if worst comes to worst, you know how to fend for yourself.

If you have any more useful information on self defense, please comment them.

Stay safe out there <3

[-] SquishedFly 39 points 3 weeks ago

Ngl the first time I ran down the stairs without a bra and I noticed that I needed to hold my tits so they didn't hurt was so euphoric

[-] SquishedFly 37 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

and she's in bed next to me braless and smoking

Why does something so fukken hot as smoking have to be so incredibly unhealthy (ಥ﹏ಥ)

[-] SquishedFly 32 points 5 months ago

....my tits don't honk when I squeeze them tho ;-;

144
blood blood blood blood (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 5 months ago by SquishedFly to c/transmemes

Normally, a person looses around 40ml of blood per period with people having 450 periods on average in their life. This means that on average a person would loose 18l of blood from menstruation alone. With the average human having between 4.5l and 5.7l, you'd only need to sacrifice 4 people to the menstruation gods to never have to shed blood for that ever again. ~~In my experience, it works best when sacrificing transphobes or terfs.~~

As a quick side note: I hate it when someone refers to it as a "pseudo-period". The hormonal cycle is very very real, I can assure you that.

[-] SquishedFly 57 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

please make this a real thing please make this a real thing please make this a real thing please make this a real thing please make this a real thing PLEEAASEEEEEE

(I'm not even getting headpats in vr...)

[-] SquishedFly 48 points 7 months ago

Ayy girl, are you into bondage?

Because I want to tie you up (to save some space), put you into a box and FedEx you to a more accepting country~

75
submitted 8 months ago by SquishedFly to c/transmemes

It's been almost 10 years. I've given up on the hope of them being less jarring to look at so covering is the only thing I can do...

169
submitted 8 months ago by SquishedFly to c/femcelmemes

The worst part is: I feel like I want this soo badly but I don't know if I really want it. The imagination of having someone is the sweetest thing in existence but in all reality, I don't think that I could handle having someone that close to me.... I don't understand my sexuality, but that's fine. I'll just post memes to cope with it and cry into my Blahaj when I need to

src for the background image: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/119419109

36
submitted 9 months ago by SquishedFly to c/mtf

So I've started estrogen around 3 weeks ago (hooray (^ヮ^)/ ) but have noticed one thing that is really bothering me.

I feel like I could eat the entire day through. I'm just constantly hungry and it really irks me... Before, I had absolutely no issues going with one, maybe two small meals a day (when not at work) and sometimes even completely skipping a day. But now I pretty much need a chewing gum to sedate me from eating all the food that I made for myself for today and tomorrow.

It's really tearing on me... Yes, I am slightly underweight (56kg/173cm) but the fact that I am a little slim is like 30% of what makes me pass even just on 3 weeks of HRT...

I don't want to gain weight, I don't want to lose this figure of mine, I don't want to waste so much time and money just eating....

I know that this is probably partially an undiagnosed eating disorder speaking but does any one of you have a similar experience?

The fat i'd accumulate wouldn't go to my ass or boobs.... I have no chance of getting much of either sadly so it would just collect as undesirable belly padding....

41
submitted 11 months ago by SquishedFly to c/trans

For context: This Monday I came out to my work colleges and asked them also to call me by my new name and pronouns. Everyone is very supportive which is all that I could hope for. The only issue is, since in my family noone calls me by my actual name, not many people in my life actually call me by my chosen name (at least up until now).

With everyone at work calling me by my chosen name now, it actually feels quite a bit strange, uncomfortable and even a little embarrassing.

I did talk to my therapist about something like that once and he said that, yes, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and yes, that is uncomfortable but it's a necessary step to get better.

And yet, my brain still slaps me with that sweet sweet imposter syndrome like "how can you be trans if what you want is making you uncomfortable" and so on.

And now I'm here, asking you for similar experiences you've had to hopefully get it through my fat skull that it's a normal thing to feel (hopefully).

So. How long did it take you? Did it just click for you or was it just as uncomfortable as it is for me?

59
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by SquishedFly to c/trans

I'm so scared...

I'm from a small central European country called Austria. We recently had elections for our EU representative. Sadly, the HEAVILY conservative party (formerly the same party that Hitler was in) won.

Literally all that they want to do is just objectively wrong - from ignoring climate change to leaving the EU, and that's not even mentioning their views on us queer folk.

Seeing as how this election turned out, I'm so incredibly scared of the next one (nationalratswahl) because, if they get elected there too, they can cause some serious damage to Austria/us. I'm actually so scared that I feel the need to kinda rush my transition now (mainly meaning legal name/gender change).

I actually genuinely feel ashamed living here sometimes. And yes, I am thinking of leaving the country if it gets worse but it's really not that easy for me currently...

I'm sorry for the rant but I'm just incredibly scared about my safety here in the future. I also don't have any other place to rant this to ;-;

37
submitted 1 year ago by SquishedFly to c/mtf

As a transfem, it's probably not a surprise that I get disphoric about a certain area. Tucking normally doesn't really work for me because it leaves tape residue everywhere, hurts like hell to remove the tape and is super inconvenient (even though it's medical tape). My idea: there has to be at least some underwear that is specifically designed for tucking.

After googling for a good while, I found a couple of sites offering tucking underwear. The only issue is: the price is extremely high. Does anyone of you have experience with tucking underwear? What are your thoughts and can you recommend them? I don't wanna blow a ton of money on something that turns out to be only mediocre at best.

Along with that, does anyone have any sources to buy from in central Europe (online or in-person), specifically Austria/Vienna?

26
submitted 1 year ago by SquishedFly to c/mtf

(First time posting here, hi you cuties ^^/)

For context, I am 18 MtF but don’t have any medication yet because of the local healthcare system. To add to that, while I am in therapy, I’m afraid to talk to my therapist about this because I will need a confirmation from him that says that I can have HRT to actually get HRT. This puts me into this weird place where I very much should talk to my therapist about it but also shouldn’t because it might hinder me from getting hormones (I hate this system). Of course, I don’t want to replace my therapist with you, I just want some of your thoughts and experiences with this.

Long story short, pretty much everyone I’ve ever heard talk about this has always said that there is a difference between attraction and gender envy. The only issue is, this line doesn’t really exist for me.

If I think someone is cute, I can never really differentiate between the feeling of “I wish I was this cute” or “I wish they would hug me / I could hug them”. What makes all of this even more complicated is that I am very much unsure about my sexuality. Since the thought of sexual interactions actually kinda disgust me, I guess I’m ace? But then again, I also kinda feel an attraction to more feminine presenting people? Yet I am also open for any other, or no gender at all? And more importantly, is this feeling of wanting to be someone I think is cute just from me hating myself? Does that mean that I’m not trans? And why are other trans people saying that there is a difference?

Does anyone of you also struggle to find this line between attraction and gender envy? If yes, what does this feel for you? And if no, what are your thoughts on this?

PS.: You shouldn’t feel the need to validate me. The last thing I want is to be stuck in some sort of echo-chamber. If what you read, makes you think I’m not trans then please please please tell me so.

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SquishedFly

joined 1 year ago