I'm also German and my mother is similar, albeit less extreme. She is still nice to me and somehow genders me correctly when texting me but doesn't care for my preferred pronouns when we talk in person. I don't want to go no contact because I'm on good terms with the rest of my family (they mostly don't care and accept my identity without much fuss) so I cope by not interacting with her a lot when we see each other. I see my family every two months or so and when I do, I don't sit next to her, only talk the necessities etc. She still manages to misgender me every time to speak. It hurts, but no contact is not an option for me so I just endure it. I prepare visits to family by pampering myself and always plan quality time after a visit. I refuse to meet her 1-on-1. It's not ideal, but okay for me.

I don't know what it's like with your dad, but my mom is just a very stubborn person that doesn't adapt well to change. My sister's husband is vegan and has been for years and she still cooks meals with meat and dairy in them when he comes over. She just says he should bring his own food to family dinners. To me, this confirms that my mom isn't like this to me (just) because of my identity, but also/mostly because she can't handle change.

Edit: Oh and also it's gotten slightly better the more I visibly feminize. I think she's a bit of a transmedicalist without knowing the term, GRS will probably help as well.

A few members of my family have trouble accepting me. My choice was to spend less and less time with them.

I think you're allowed to tell your father that if he doesn't want to "see you" the way you see yourself, then he doesn't get to physically see you at all. If he wants to lose out on a relationship with his child due to ignorance, that's his choice, not yours.

Although it sucks, sometimes you have to cut off family if they are hindering your life or impacting your happiness.

Maybe I'm jaded, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt. However, my belief is that friends are your chosen family. I'd much rather be surrounded by people who accept me and love me unconditionally.

I haven't talked to my mom in 10 years but my sister hasn't for 8 and that's the only family I have so it's easier. I will say if you can go no contact with him for a bit and see if you can still spend time with the good parts of your family to see how easy or hard it is to do.