A resource that shows how friendly/unfriendly US State laws are to trans ppl. Split into two maps, one for adults and one for minors.

Good feels rant post.

I had pretty much given up on romance as dating is nearly impossible as an older transguy. I managed to meet a nice geeky guy on a dating site and we chatted for a while. On our first date last night, he handed me a wrapped gift. "I saw this book and thought you'd like it." and it was a book in my favorite genre. "And I got a toy for your dog. I put it in my laundry for a day so he can get used to my scent before I meet him." Bros and sisters, my heart melted.

We ended up having a ridiculous fun time then making out in the snow, and it was super cheesy and cute and romantic.

Don't give up on love! Good folks are still out there. ❤️ Figured I'd share some positivity since the Earth is literally burning.

Maybe this is really silly or useless, but I was having another one of those moments looking in the mirror, analyzing my face and unable to see myself, but I discovered if I blur my vision slightly and let my field of vision become a bit more "big picture", my brain correctly genders me. Maybe this is true for others?

Sometimes I recognize how arbitrary my perception of gender is (with myself and others), and maybe it's just pragmatic to mess with your own perception when feeling down about how you look and not being able to see yourself.

I feel a bit insecure sharing this, it feels like an anti-tip to me, like saying, "are you feeling ugly? close your eyes!" - but I only share it because I actually did feel some happiness from it and it interrupted a moment of dysphoric obsessing. Can't be that bad to have a coping mechanism to do that, right?

I just realized it's been half a year since I started transitioning. So here's a summary of everything I've experienced so far. I hope it's helpful to someone.

Early signs

There were occasional things as a young child that, on reflection, were rather suggestive, but certainly by puberty I was explicitly praying to wake up as a girl. Realized that this was problematic and start suppressing and avoiding femininity. Fantasies, bouts of depression, alcoholism and overeating continue as life happens. Fast forward several decades to last year.

Egg crack

A combination of three things led me to finally realize that something might be wrong.

• A particularly strong depression with feelings that something big was missing from my life.
• Unable to buy clothes, or let someone else buy them for me, despite current items falling apart.
• Getting drunk and announcing that I'm a girl. Multiple times. Yeah, still didn't realize even then.

I start consuming a lot of trans content and find my way to egg_irl where I learn that the trans experience isn't just "a woman trapped in a man's body". As a desperate attempt to repudiate, I try to imagine what my response to all this would be if I was trans. Egg detonates.

Coming out

After a week of panic I tell my wife and start experimenting with presenting fem. Experience gender euphoria for the first time. Realize this is something that's got to happen, and start to transition. Come out to close friends, immediate family and a few coworkers (I work remote).

Presentation

I've been slowly sliding through androgyny heading towards pure fem. Started painting my nails pretty early and kept going. Experimented with make-up but haven't been doing it very regularly. My clothing is a bit more reserved when seeing people who knew me before (and that I'm not explicitly out to), but I think most people are starting to realize / comment that something is up. Otherwise anything goes; I've worked up the courage to wear skirts outside.

Probably the biggest change is losing 30kg or so. I'd like to shed a little bit more, but I'm back into the "normal" BMI range for the first time since I was a kid. This was just through eating less, nothing fancy.

I've been growing out my hair, going from buzz-cut to just starting to get in my eyes if I pull it straight. It's quite curly so growing out rather than down atm. Mostly I just hide it under a wool hat.

Four sessions done of laser on my face. They upped the power for the last session, which was a bit painful. It's working pretty well, but there's still quite a bit of shadow left.

HRT

Started DIY after about two months. Then prescription injections, and now patches. All monotherapy. HRT is very nice. I'm a little over four months on E, now.

Libido

Pretty much zero, right from the start. Kind of looking forward to girl-horny, but it's nice to not be bothered by it.

Skin

Looking nice now! Smooth and dry, needs moisturizing and hard to grip things.

Hair

Not really seeing much change here yet.

Smell

Way better than I was expecting. Pretty much odorless for the first three months, but now I smell like a girl. Except when my levels get low and the T stink starts to come back.

Face

Definitely different, but I wouldn't say obviously female yet. I'm reasonably confident that in time I'll be able to pass without FFS.

Body fat

Not much change here yet.

Chest

Boobs! They're small, but they're there. Definitely sensitive, but not too bad. Currently A cup or thereabouts. I was used to man-boobs from being fat, but these are clearly a different shape and firmer.

Mood

Overall significantly calmer and way less anxiety, possibly just due to coming out. I can cry more easily, but not the crazy ball of emotions I was expecting.

Muscle mass

Not noticed too much change yet. I was never particularly muscular.

Metabolism

Appetite has increased, but I can't eat as much. Presumably just due to dieting? Also I'm constantly cold now, but again that could be down to losing weight.

Girldick

Meh. It's different. Just cut it off already.

Voice

I like to sing (karaoke, not professionally!), and I realized I had a pretty good handle on pitch and resonance already. So one day I just started trying to talk in girl-voice. It varies from "kind of hoarse and strange" to "pretty good". I found audiation helps a lot: imagining in your head how you want to sound before speaking (musicians will hopefully understand). I haven't used my original voice in months.

Some people who know me have commented that my voice is "higher" or "cuter" now. I don't know whether or not I'd pass on the phone.

Passing

It's hard to tell, since there isn't a sir / madam distinction here. I think it probably depends on the situation, but my best guess is that I'm fairly androgynous at the moment. My hair isn't really long enough for a feminine style yet. Yeah, I know about pixie cuts and so on, but think that only works if the rest of you looks feminine enough.

Going forward

I'm transitioning fairly publicly, so I plan to come out to people who know me if they ask. Otherwise hoping to stealth eventually.

Not brave enough to use female bathrooms yet, so I mostly use the family / disabled one if I'm out. I haven't used the men's in a while.

Planning to change my legal name maybe this year? I've asked a few people to use my new name already (first names aren't often used here except among close friends). Can't change my official gender any time soon due to dumb laws.

I'm pretty sure SRS is going to happen at some point, but no firm plans yet.

Well, that's it! Any questions?

cross-posted from: https://feddit.org/post/4163609

On November 1, Germany introduces a law making it easier to alter the gender marker and name on official documents. Transgender, intersex, non-binary people have welcomed the move but conservatives are opposed.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

I'll 8e real with you all - most of the popul8ion doesn't think I'm really trans. Even trans folkel/people themselves, usually. I've 8een really well-received here so far 8ut I thought I'd make a thread of the common experiences I share with the transgender community to 8ack up my claims. (Chronic persuasive essay writer 8rain, I know.) The list of experiences comes from here, and I'll compare them to my own experiences one at a time. Either way, I hope this is an interesting read.

Wanting to pee in a way that is different than what you’d expect

This one seems very specific to 8iological sex 8ut it still applies, actually! Trolls are loosely implied to have cloacas similar to 8irds and reptiles, and I have passing thoughts a8out that.

Engaging in dress up more seriously than for play

This is a 8ig one for me. Most would just call it cosplay and move on with their lives, 8ut for me, I'm out as my most authentic self. Call it cosplay and I'll 8ite you /hj

Referring to themself as a different gender

Again, very gender-specific, 8ut I've always referred to myself as another species - ever since early childhood. Eventually I stopped using the word "person" for myself altogether - nonhumans and fictional characters aren't people in the eyes of most, so why call myself that? I demand that the word "human" not 8e used to refer to me, either. That's kind of like changing your pronouns, I guess? Changing your nouns instead.

Choosing to play characters in video games/pretend play that differ from their gender assigned at birth

This one doesn't really apply... the closest analogue is choosing skin patterns sporting my caste color 8ut that's a8out it.

Lack of interest in activities that are conventionally related to their assigned gender

I mean I just have this anyway, 8ecause human gender roles make no sense to me and I do what I want. 8ut I also reject activities rel8ed to my assigned species! Namely particip8ing in racial culture and capitalism. My caste standing is Cerulean, not "Ser8ian/White mix," thanks. And I'll never let my a8ilities 8e exploited for money, refusing art commissions on that 8asis.

Resistance to getting or wanting haircuts

I would 8e resistant to haircuts if I didn't need them for mental health reasons. Right now my hair is almost typical-human-male short 8ecause my dysphoria is so severe that I can't 8e in the shower for too long to wash it. I hope to let it grow out one day though ::::3

Avoidance of dress clothes and more gendered garments

Dress clothes and gendered garments are just uncomforta8le. For casual stuff, I wear whatever I want. I pick from 8oth the men's and women's section. I do avoid 8right colors though and heavily favor 8lack, gray, and certain shades of 8lue.

Disliking their name

I changed my name so many fucking times 8efore I settled on Vriska it's not even funny. I have a deep, incomprehensi8le loathing for my deadname. Kindergarten is a8out as far 8ack as I can remem8er, and I still wasn't using it then.

Frustration with their genitals or refusal to use the bathroom

Yeah. 8ottom dysphoria is a shockingly 8ig one. (If you know, you know.) I'm considering commissioning a custom packer.

Extreme self-consciousness about being seen

Always. Fear and paranoia over 8eing seen without my eyepatch, with my hair grown out to the point where undyed roots are visi8le... Do my horns need repairs? Do I have a chest 8inder on? Am I sweaty and smelly like the washed up dead8eat "cosplayer" I am?

Difficulty with or dislike of bathing/showering/personal hygiene

This is the 8iggest one 8y far. I cannot stand looking at myself in a mirror or 8eing naked. It makes me feel like everything a8out me is wrong and makes me want to do things to myself that I can't legally descri8e here. Showers are an in-and-out experience twice a week, and if dysphoria gets 8ad enough I just refuse altogether.

Positive reaction when people get confused over their gender

Yeah, 8ecause it means I'm not conforming to human standards. I also like it when folkel/people get confused just seeing me walking around or eating lunch or doing anything of the sort in pu8lic. They don't know what to do with themselves when someone they assume is a cosplayer is just going a8out their day-to-day, like a fictional character 8rought to life.

Reporting wanting a “do-over” or to wake up as a different gender

I'll do you one 8etter. I don't just want to wake up as myself, I want to see that transform8ion go down. I want to feel it, every ounce of pain. I'm o8sessed with the concept to a point most would consider unhealthy.

Happier when allowed to experiment with their gender

Experimenting is so fun. Usually it goes south ~~(shoves the DIY hair dye incident under the rug)~~ 8ut sometimes I find good ways to get around my humanity. I've spent a lot of money and time trying to look right, and that isn't going to stop anytime soon.

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/17983418

A great video about how cis people should stop playing trans characters especially if the actor is the gender they are transitioning from not to.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/17883633

Title really says it all, warning for mentions of 'crossdressing' etc and disliking labels.

I feel like I am, I am admittedly spending New years alone, but considering what happened on Christmas probably would be best not to spend it with my family. I plan to watch the countdown on TV maybe have a Beer or two, nothing fancy.

I was perplexed by the question. What's the difference? They explained: "Should I tiptoe and watch my manners around you or be blunt? Flirtatious or chill? Brag about my sexual conquests or talk about our feelings? When you're sad, do I hug you and buy you ice cream or do we go grab some beers? Should I wonder if we'll ever hook up?"

I'm not sure if I'm more appalled or confused by this mindset. I thought everyone treated their friends the same regardless of their gender identity. Is this just a fringe case of toxic masculinity, or is this really how the average cis person sees the world?

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Did you ever have that dream, where you are inexplicably the opposite sex, and you start a new life and everything's great, and then you wake up to crushing disappointment and it feels like your life is empty?

And then you realize you're trans, and everything makes sense.

And then you start to transition, and start a new life and everything's great, and ...

Oh god am I about to wake up as my AGAB again? This can't be happening to me; I knew I'd never get to be happy ...

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining it. It's not just me that sometimes feels like this, right?

Sometimes I have days where I look in the mirror and think "damn I'm hot" and other days I think "damn I'm ugly" (because I think I look too much like my agab).

I'm trying to figure out what to do to feel better on those dysphoric days other than just caving in to food cravings or bed rotting.

I imagine other people here probably experience similar feelings. When you aren't feeling good it's easy to cave into unhealthy habits. I'm curious as to what others do if they are having a dysphoric day.

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

Writing this because the credit bureaus did not inform me that I had to merge my 2 files under the proper name before I learned the hard way.

Simply updating your change of name is not enough as it only creates 2 separate file names (deadname and proper name) that will lead to complications applying for mortgages/loans/banks.

You have to contact the customer support again and ask them to consolidate the credit files under your proper name.

They're still a bit sore afterwards but overall I'm thrilled. I've always wanted to get my ears pierced but was told since I was a boy I could only get one pierced, so I never did it back then, but since I'm not actually a boy (I'm a trans girl) I figured why let that stop me.

Anyone got any recommendations for earrings I should get that suit a tomboy aesthetic? rn I have only the basic studs but I'm looking to get some more for after the healing process is complete. Any suggestions?

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

I want your opinion of how she looks. Do you think she looks pretty, do you think she looks cool? Both?

Recently today I realized that I am in fact a trans girl. I made a post about it in !asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone and after that I was reflecting a lot on my past, the mistakes I've made, and I realize I've made a lot of them. I've said horrible things about and to LGBTQ people, and just awful shit in general when I was younger. I was a young and stupid kid and I would say horrible things online, things I heard from other people or read online. Things I now regret and feel horrible about. I know I can never excuse any of them just because I was younger but I do deeply regret those mistakes, and I am deeply sorry I said any of those things. I know that isn't an excuse but I hope people can find it in them to forgive me for my awful mistakes and accept me as a new person.