1161
dead plants rule (files.catbox.moe)
submitted 5 days ago by squirrel to c/onehundredninetysix
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[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 34 points 4 days ago

This is an entirely different approach than most people are used to. My advice from a couple of combat deployments is to cultivate a task oriented mindset. What does that mean? It means worrying about the task you are doing right now and nothing else. That doesn't mean you never look at the bigger picture. But if you're at dinner, then you're at dinner and you enjoy that. You can check when the next protest is, after dinner. You take each day like this and before you know it we'll be voting Trump out of office.

[-] ericatty@infosec.pub 17 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Wow, so this is basically the technique I started when a close family member was dying of cancer.

"But if you're at dinner, then you're at dinner and you enjoy that"

I just want to add to this, give yourself permission to fully enjoy it and be happy in the moment. Don't beat yourself up for feeling joy when you know others are still in crisis.

Make a list on paper or digital and let all the problems wait while you enjoy the moment. It's okay to enjoy the moment.

[-] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

Only worry about what you can control.

Great advice.

[-] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

before you know it we'll be voting Trump out of office.

No offense, but this is a weird comment. How are we going to vote him out of office? Are we just accepting that he's going to run for a third term? We can't let him do that.

[-] laserm@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Next year are both senate and house elections. If we get blue 2/3ds in both chambers, we can pursue them to impeach Trump

[-] eestileib 7 points 4 days ago

There will be no "voting maga out of office".

That ship has sailed.

[-] Xtallll 9 points 4 days ago

Don't comply in advance, don't take it for granted that the next election won't happen. They want you to cancel that election, don't do their work for them.

[-] eestileib 4 points 4 days ago

Oh people will fill out ballots and there will be election maps, don't worry about that.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

It was just a general sentiment but he's definitely going to try. And if his party supports him through all the protests then the best defense of Democracy is indeed going to be voting him out.

[-] SnotFlickerman 150 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I hate to say it, but now isn't the only time it's a problem.

This whole "you just need to practice more CBT skills" has been bullshit for like twenty fucking years or more.

I can "check the facts" all I want, if the facts are that things are irreparably and totally fucked and that this irreparability is hurting me directly I can't "happy thoughts" my fucking way out of it.

I'm really tired of being told "you can't change other people, so you need to work on yourself" when other people are allowed to be giant assholes their whole lives who never have to put one ounce of work into themselves and it's me and everyone else who is a halfway decent person who has to spend their lives fucking working on ourselves.

The system is god damned broken and has been god damned broken when we practically reward the worst of us with never having to try to do better while telling the best of us that we just have to do better.

I'm really, really over it.

[-] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 49 points 5 days ago

Overthrowing capitalism is a pretty effective coping mechanism from what I hear.

[-] RandomVideos@programming.dev 13 points 5 days ago

Isnt that almost impossible? I wonder how many lotteries you would have to win in a row to be as lucky as you would need to convince billions of people capitalism may be worse than another system and to do something about it

[-] riwo 14 points 5 days ago

you dont have to convince people based on dry theory. revolution does not necessairily mean a momentary violent insurection that overthrows what was. a revolution can be the process in which you create the structures you wish to see in the future, in the here and now. you then convince people by showing them first hand that it works and that it benefits them.

here is a great video on how to construct the revolution. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9K6ISx8QEQ

it has a bit of a slow start, and feels academic but its very very insightful. absolute recomendation.

[-] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Big recommend on that video and Anark's whole channel.

This is a short clip he put out recently that makes a really good case for building the new world by fixing today's problems, which makes life better now, which is something people seem to miss.

Like we're not just rolling the dice that what we do now might pay off for future generations. We're not just "planting trees in whose shade we will never sit", we are planting seeds we can reap soon, because we need to eat, so we're solving that problem.

And satisfyingly, this brings us full-circle to addressing the point of the original post.

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There are many, many reasons to be upset about the state of the world, but the purpose of CBT is similar to the purpose of stoicism. It is not meant to teach someone how to interface with society, but with themselves. Managing one's emotional state by managing their cognitive state. This is a valuable skill to have even if in the midst of the apocalypse.

Even if you can change other people, generally speaking you can't do it right here right now, so CBT is best served to interrupt or redirect cyclical thought processes that can't actually motivate someone toward any positive outcome.

Having the thought - "This is fucked and I'm going to do X, Y, and Z" - is healthy.

Having the thought - "this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked" - on repeat in your head when you can't currently do X, Y, or Z, is not. CBT is meant to help someone break out of the latter, not the former.

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[-] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago

CBT was designed for people who had severe behavioral issues.

The idea that it should be done by everyone is because extracting profit by selling cookie cutter solutions is the perversion of capitalism.

[-] sexy_peach@feddit.org 15 points 5 days ago

What you need to realize though is that you can only affect so much. Mostly if you need help you should help yourself first. Then if you're happy and capable, you need to help others. Not the other way around. So get with it and don't hang yourself up on "shit is fucked". It is, but it has been worse and it also can get worse. But that doesn't really matter for now, help yourself first if you need to.

Like ofc it's not wrong to also help others.

The situation is hopeless and has always been. But that's not as bad as it sounds and it frees you and me from the burden of the world. Do what you can, that's enough.

I can highly recommend this video for reflecting on hopeless thoughts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJaE_BvLK6U

[-] SnotFlickerman 29 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I'm not having hopeless thoughts.

I'm having issues with CBT being used as a way to teach people learned helplessness where "you can't affect other people." Because, actually, society in aggregate (often called governance) can totally influence, affect, and change other people. We seemingly have given up on holding people who break the social contract accountable for anything while forcing those who do uphold the social contract accountable for everything. Fascism is the end-stage manifestation of that.

In my experience, in practice, it does more to teach people they can't affect change more than it teaches them they can. It teaches them to be helpless on purpose.

[-] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 5 days ago

This isn’t what cbt is

Cbt is an extension of equanimity, learning ways to control your emotional response to things. You don’t deny your emotional response, but you moderate it

This is advantageous because what’s more effective? Dwelling in rumination and suffering? Or acknowledging that we are angry and frustrated and moving forward to something actionable when that is possible and moving on with our lives when it is not? This is where we get into more DBT skills and stuff like radical acceptance but it’s similar

This is what happens with these things in the modern context though. They get displayed at surface value with pop psychology social media bullshit and perverted. Then stoicism becomes “just deny your feelings” by right wing dipshits who have never read meditations when it is also about allowing yourself to feel and express feelings but not letting them control you through a practice of reflection.

CBT is essentially just an update of philosophy like this and Buddhism for the modern context with more explicit guidance and some neurology thrown in.

“You can’t affect other people” is incorrect as you say. While we do have to concede that other people’s willingness to change their behavior and perspective is ultimately up to them we can still advocate and influence. At the same time we can recognize that this process can be draining and harmful to ourselves and at a certain point maybe we need to take a step back. You can’t save fix a house with a rotting foundation.

Bad implementation doesn’t make CBT bad.

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[-] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago

Mostly if you need help you should help yourself first. Then if you’re happy and capable, you need to help others. Not the other way around

I think you're not getting what they're saying. Of course you can only work on yourself, but therapy doesn't exist in a vacuum and frequently you're just learning coping mechanisms for the status quo. Which is frequently good, being able to cope with society and remain functional is good, but people often have coping as the goal instead of merely being a step.

This person wants to change the system so coping mechanisms aren't necessary to deal with society

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[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 63 points 5 days ago

This is actually touching on a real new approach to mental healthcare, which is just accepting that "life is shit" and you're kinda on your own to find meaning in it, or get to the next high-point that makes it worth living.

We have to stop expecting things to be stable, normal and comfortable. We had a good, smooth run, things are going back to normal now.

[-] OccultIconoclast@reddthat.com 27 points 5 days ago

Humanity having enough power that their mistakes can destroy the world isn't normal. Our failure tolerances were calibrated in a world where the damage we did to nature was temporary. That's not true anymore; we either get our act together now or go extinct.

[-] TotallynotJessica 13 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

We ain't going "extinct" and people quite frankly need to realize that "extinction" is an incredibly low bar to clear. Billions will die and millennia of suffering lay before us, but the human species will be a-ok, especially if our industrial civilizations collapse. It's a fire that'll burn itself out, and thus history will continue.

The human species isn't people, but a term to describe our shared code; code that isn't you or the people you love. We are more than just our long term machinery. If we only focus on the forest, we miss the well being of the trees. I'd rather all our bloodlines end and us live lives focused on ourselves, than have an eternity of worshipping constructs that force us to live for them.

[-] OccultIconoclast@reddthat.com 14 points 5 days ago

The Earth maintains homeostasis. Past 2 degrees warming, the current homeostasis systems break down. We don't know where the next homeostasis point is. It's probably a lot worse. It'll keep getting worse past the point we stop making it worse. Most of the species on earth will go extinct.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Most of the species on earth will go extinct again

FTFY

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[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Humanity having enough power that their mistakes can destroy the world isn’t normal.

As someone born in the cold war, I can't relate. It's always been this way as long as I've been alive, so if something has been a way as long as anyone can remember, I think it's pretty safe to call it "normal" at least for our species. This is what we do, this is how we operate.

I really believe if we accepted that our human nature gives us a lot of very bad baggage and our entire conscious experience is often an illusion assembled by millions of years of evolution, and that we may never rise above our instincts, we actually might start making progress towards a more equitable future.

Kinda like when you're an alcoholic or other kind of addict, if you finally accept that you have a problem, you learn eventually that you can't trust yourself so you make measures ahead of time like hiding your wallet, disabling your credit card, etc. It's wild that a lot of people consider very successful tactics like this to be a "cop out" and live in this delusion that we "should be better" and can somehow rise above our own natures. Like telling a fish it can fly if it really, really tries hard enough. It's setting you up for failures and frustrations.

[-] psivchaz@reddthat.com 6 points 4 days ago

Putting it this way kind of makes it sound like modern therapy has reinvented Buddhism.

[-] werty@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Excellent psychological advice in the form of prayer. The fact that life is shit is one of things ypu cannot change. The wisdom to know the difference is the real skill.

[-] peregrin5@lemm.ee 9 points 4 days ago

Shit man. This hits home way too hard.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 31 points 5 days ago

Depressive realism sucks... and the shittiest people are immune to it.

[-] seeigel@feddit.org 4 points 4 days ago

They are not immune. Being shitty is their way of dealing with the situation. Shittiness and depression is caused by the same corrupt society.

[-] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 5 points 3 days ago

I have been in this headspace for 5-10 years as I could see this moment of collapse coming, I have lost most of my friends or a great distance has opened up between me and them where more and more whenever I am vulnerable and share how I feel I get some form of "it is useless being negative, you have to be happy and let it go!".

Wish all those people didn't take so long to have a mature realistic outlook, but whatever, their old self is being obliterated by the new status quo, so in a very real way those people are already gone or at most a lingering ugly remnant of the past.

[-] xpinchx@lemmy.world 30 points 5 days ago

Hey guys this probably isn't the right place, but I'm new to mental health issues. About two weeks ago I started having crippling anxiety attacks, mostly at or right after work. I do intl logistics for my company so I've had a pulse on all this bullshit from the getgo.

At the same time I started having blood pressure issues, and the combination has a vicious feedback loop of anxiety > elevated heart issues > anxiety etc.

My doctor gave me 30 Xanax (and a plethora of heart meds), I've looked up self help type stuff to help with the anxiety... Mindfulness, breathing exercises, etc. Daily walks and exercise help the most but I feel so out of control of my emotions I don't really know what to do anymore.

Should I talk to my GP and get on something long term? Therapist? Keep trying self help?

I'm 38 and otherwise healthy, no depression, slightly overweight but physically active and eating healthy. I stopped all my vices (nicotine, alcohol, most weed I still take edibles CBD) and I don't know how to cope without being self destructive.

If anyone else is going through this and getting traction just let me know your experience I guess. I don't know anyone irl as affected as me so I mainly just want validation I'm not alone and there's a path forward.

[-] priapus@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago

I would definitely recommend trying therapy. Self help and meds will both help, but, for me, therapy made the biggest difference in the long run.

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[-] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 30 points 5 days ago

This is exactly why I'm trying to limit news intake. I was kinda spiraling out with it all. I'll still do stuff, show up and whatever, but man. This regime is AWFUL for my mental health.

And like for good reason, I know that I'm right to be scared of what's happening but I gotta mediate this.

[-] ch00f@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I had a realization after the election that I was basically consuming news as entertainment in place of other things I could be reading or doing. I'm voting, I'm attending protests, knowing more isn't going to change anything. It'll just make me feel worse.

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[-] TeraByteMarx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago

What if the dead plants are the friends we made along the way.

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[-] the_q@lemm.ee 21 points 5 days ago

Being anxious and depressed is directly related to your awareness of the world around you. It's not okay to be okay.

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[-] seeigel@feddit.org 3 points 4 days ago

Maybe it helps to get a roommate, both with the plants and the anxiety?

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 days ago

Everyone is a furry, jeez

(I am a furry ugh)

[-] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 25 points 4 days ago

I'd rather see furries than fascists.

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this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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