119
submitted 2 days ago by McUberStein@lemmy.zip to c/mtf

I feel like I started too late. There's no hope for me of ever passing... I'm so freaking dysphoric

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[-] Furbag@pawb.social 13 points 1 day ago

Didn't even register for one millisecond that you are mtf as I was scrolling by. I'd say you pass easily. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[-] Gigdragon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Sister-doppleganger jumpscare. You look SHOCKINGLY close to my sister Crystal.

Also, if this is Crystal. Mean. This is Talon. I will remember this, no more enchiladas for you.

[-] AnxiousMiisha 3 points 19 hours ago

You have a sister? I'm so jealous!

I only have a younger brother. He's sweet tho.

So, unfortunately not Christal. Also, new account.

[-] HopeOfTheGunblade 5 points 1 day ago

The dysphoria lies. These ones started older than you appear to be now and are doing fine.

[-] ellypny 6 points 1 day ago

You are the type of girl people would RUIN their lives for ❤️‍🔥

[-] AnxiousMiisha 3 points 1 day ago

How so? 🥺
Sorry, just don't really know what you mean.

Also, new account. Still me.

[-] ellypny 3 points 1 day ago

It's a turn of phrase that means something like "you're so fine you're out of my league, " etc. Like damn I would let u ruin my life. I stole it from a tweet somewhere

[-] AnxiousMiisha 2 points 15 hours ago

I'd rather someone ruin me than ruin their life over me...

I mean...what? 😅

[-] RedSeries 8 points 1 day ago

3 years into HRT starting at 33yo over here. No, you're ahead of the curve girl. You look more like a woman than you give yourself credit for and time will only make that more true.

[-] hildegarde 7 points 1 day ago

Your brain is lying to you.

[-] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 23 points 1 day ago

Fym sister? You already pass

[-] smh@slrpnk.net 25 points 1 day ago

Tell you truth, I read the title of this post, clicked the image, thought "huh, why is she screwed?" and tried to find the problem in the image. Then I read the community name and the rest of your post.

You're passing just fine.

[-] AlexCory21@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Girl, you're beautiful. Just remember that we are our own worst critic. Try to ignore the bad thoughts and ask for feedback from friends and stuff. hugs

[-] belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org 5 points 1 day ago
  1. There is no time too late to start.

  2. I scrolled by and wondered what this very cute girl is going through that shes "screwed" about.

[-] k0e3@lemmy.ca 27 points 1 day ago

Sorry if a cis male isn't supposed to comment here, but I was genuinely curious as to what you meant by "I'm screwed," because I didn't think you could possibly mean you didn't look femine (passing?) because you do.

I think you look great and I hope you feel that about yourself soon, too!

Again, I'm sorry if I'm not welcome here, not using the correct terminology, or have completely missed the point of this post.

[-] Shayeta@feddit.org 8 points 1 day ago

Your options are to continue trying or to stop and give up. Both of these suck, but one sucks much more.

You may not reach your goal by continuing to try and end up disappointed, but not trying will definitely result in regret and the burning wondering "what-if?" for the rest of your life.

By continuing to try, your worst outcome is not getting what you want. But at the very minimum you'll know you did the best you could with the cards you were dealt. And there is solace in that.

c’est la vie

[-] isleepinahammock 31 points 2 days ago

(Please take this kindly.)

I'm truly, honestly not sure whether this is a troll/bait post or just someone with severe confidence issues. But I'll assume the latter until proven otherwise. You would hardly be the first passing trans gal that's convinced themselves they're hopeless. Gender dysphoria is a bitch like that.

Girl, at least from what I can tell in this photo, you already pass. If you find yourself not passing in public, there are a few possibilities. It might be something that we can't see in a front-facing photo, but can be seen in side profile. It might be your voice. It might be mannerisms. But even if you're getting read male in public, it's no reason to doom. If it's voice or mannerisms, well you can change those. If it's side profile, that does require FFS to change, but that hardly means you're doomed.

But really, from the photo, I would say it's mostly in your head. If you hadn't told me you were trans, I wouldn't have known.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 days ago

I swear this isn't a troll. I truly do have severe confidence issues along with terrible anxiety.

This is honestly just a good-ish photo and I'm definitely not passing. I still boymode in public for that reason.

It's really hard to get out of my head. My bf keeps complimenting me, so do my friends, but it's way too easy to dismiss them. I'm sorry this post seemed like a troll.

I will need FFS for my profile: mainly my forehead. However, reading all of these comments, I'm getting slightly more hopeful. Thank you, kind stranger 🩷

[-] isleepinahammock 11 points 2 days ago

Do you actually know if you pass or not? Have you tried girl moding? It might surprise you if you haven't.

And sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I definitely get the confidence issues. I've dealt with them myself.

[-] AnxiousMiisha 3 points 1 day ago

I have tried girl moding, just in like the worst way possible. I go outside with my bf after dark in girlmode quite often, and even then, I'm really anxious about people staring.
Even without the dysphoria, my anxiety and low self-confidence are killing me...
I'm already taking pills for that, but they're not really helping much. Prog kinda helps with the anxiety though. I should really force myself to get out there more...

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

When you think people are watching you start acting weird, that causes people to watch. People might be looking or even watching tor any number of reasons. Maybe you don't pass. Maybe you're attractive to them. Maybe you look like someone they know. Maybe you look really nervous and they don't know why.

As kindly as I can say this, it's going to be scary until you've done it enough to be comfortable. Do it scared. Accept that it's not the end of the world if someone you'll never speak to thinks you're trans unless it's actively a dangerous place to be openly trans.

Also passing isn't binary. I've had coworkers comment on me being trans at workplaces where other coworkers make remarks about my menstruation.

[-] Seleni@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

You look like a girl to me. My husband’s cousins both have a body profile similar to yours, so I can say with confidence you have a fem bod.

Maybe if you’re getting tagged as a boy still, it’s your voice? Speech classes might help.

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[-] chloektboehnchen 49 points 2 days ago

Thats the dysphoria talking. A) you already look pretty Passing B) in your other post you said you've only been HRT for 5,5 months? Give it time. I promise you it will be worth it.

I had the same type of mid-HRT dysphoria were I thought I would never pass. And just a few months later I couldn't boymode anymore since I was already passing too well. It will happen for your too. Im 31 btw. Dont know how old you are but you look younger than that. "Too late" is a dirty lie the dysphoria tells you. Dont believe it.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 days ago

I'm 20. Thank you for the kind words 🩷 It's just really hard to stay positive sometimes

[-] Blibly@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

Girl I started at 35 and I pass now. Chill lol

[-] brookedSmile 10 points 2 days ago

20? I started hrt at 32. Girl if youre too late, then im fucked 😂

I dont think you need to worry. Youre going to look plenty fem (you already do), just takes time. Its puberty after all, youll grow into it ❤️

[-] SuperNovaStar 25 points 2 days ago

Girl my egg hadn't even cracked at 20. Give yourself some time!

Also you look more fem than you think you do!

The best thing I ever did for my mental health was making some irl friends. Humans are social animals, you'll feel so much better if you have a good community around you

[-] Rei 12 points 2 days ago

I agree with everything Chloe said. HRT is working super well for you. I know it's hard but we can see it's working on the picture and it'll keep working.

And you're young, I started at 31 and I pass, even on the days were I just crawl out of the house no makeup or anything.

When I came out, I was worried of being too old, and then I saw other trans people that started in their 50s or 60s and were passing peeling perfectly. I remember looking at this woman's selfie and thinking: "that's just an older woman". No clocking, or anything. It's never too late.

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[-] chattre 25 points 2 days ago

holyholyfuck no no no you're so pretty you're so pass TwT

the brain goblins are in your head u got this

[-] NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 day ago

With any luck you will be (sorry, couldn't resist the bad joke)

[-] AnxiousMiisha 4 points 1 day ago

I already am tho 😭
I've got the best, sweetest, most loving and caring bf there is ❤️

[-] NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 day ago

Ayyyy nicee

[-] strawberry_enjoyer42 26 points 2 days ago

omg you're really pretty! honestly, you already do pass; like, you pass better than some cis women i know.

[-] gandalf_der_12te 9 points 2 days ago

idk, i don't see any screws. are you sure you aren't glued together?

[-] AnxiousMiisha 5 points 1 day ago

Glued together indeed, using lots of coffee, sugar and a ton of estrogen oil in my thighs 😂
Speaking of, I should get to stabbing myself

[-] Malyca@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 days ago

Granted I'm cis but you pass to my eyes, you're very pretty though your eyes are so sad. Don't let the dysphoria demon win. Your brain is lying to you.

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[-] LadyAutumn 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

HRT effects take place over a very long period of time. Give yourself a chance. I know that you want to go from point A to point E but you have to give yourself time to get there.

Nurture yourself. Work on your mental health, take good care of yourself physically. Like you will get the best results of HRT if you are in the best place otherwise to receive them. Its unfortunately not something you can rush. You must gradually work towards it. If passing really really matters to you then work on your mannerisms, voice train, practice with makeup, develop your fashion sensibilities and invest time in your presentation. All those things take time to develop too, and its also totally valid to not bother with any of it. I am a very conventionally feminine woman and those things have mattered to me so I have worked a lot on them. It all takes time.

And to echo statements in other comments, you're never too late to transition. You look really pretty and you will absolutely have great results with time. Try your best to be patient with yourself.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago

You're right. And I'm guilty of neglecting my mental health, especially in the past couple of weeks.

It's really hard sometimes, but I should at least try to remember the changes that already are instead of freaking out about other things. It really does just take a long time.

Thank you for the kind words 🩷

Also, point E? That's really funny 😂

[-] edible_funk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

I see a woman.

[-] Nikki 21 points 2 days ago

you look fine girl don't sweat it :) 5.5 months is also barely any time in hrt standards, its a years long journey and it won't do the heavy lifting for you! gotta work on your confidence and outward expression yourself. hrt just makes it a little easier in my experience

pro tip: get bangs 😉

[-] GarboDog@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Girly pop: chat its so joever sends most pretty girly girl photo ever

Ok but you don’t look old? Plus you look really pretty?? Also who cares what you look like/pass or not, you’re a beautiful woman and that’s that??? Also those bottoms fucn rock where you get them????

Transitioning isn’t an over night process it takes years not just for physically but also mentally. It takes time to allow yourself to pass your own expectations of what it means to be a woman. Overall you gotta look forward towards the expectation of being yourself, cuz there’s no other woman like ya in the world.

~~Hope we worded that right lol~~

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[-] GalacticSushi 14 points 2 days ago

???

Are you screwed? You look fantastic and you've barely even started HRT.

[-] edg@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Girl... you are beautiful!

[-] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

You don't need to prove who you are to anyone but you. Nobody that matters thinks otherwise, and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't matter. If they don't like who you are, they can kick rocks. You got this, girl!

[-] ComradeRachel 8 points 2 days ago

Imo you probably have no issue of getting screwed , you look pretty good. Voice training and other things are important as well tho.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 days ago

Of course I have no issue with getting screwed.I do have a bf, after all 😂

Actively working on voice training with a professional. Thank you

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this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
119 points (100.0% liked)

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