119
I'm screwed, aren't I? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 3 days ago by McUberStein@lemmy.zip to c/mtf
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I feel like I started too late. There's no hope for me of ever passing... I'm so freaking dysphoric

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[-] isleepinahammock 31 points 2 days ago

(Please take this kindly.)

I'm truly, honestly not sure whether this is a troll/bait post or just someone with severe confidence issues. But I'll assume the latter until proven otherwise. You would hardly be the first passing trans gal that's convinced themselves they're hopeless. Gender dysphoria is a bitch like that.

Girl, at least from what I can tell in this photo, you already pass. If you find yourself not passing in public, there are a few possibilities. It might be something that we can't see in a front-facing photo, but can be seen in side profile. It might be your voice. It might be mannerisms. But even if you're getting read male in public, it's no reason to doom. If it's voice or mannerisms, well you can change those. If it's side profile, that does require FFS to change, but that hardly means you're doomed.

But really, from the photo, I would say it's mostly in your head. If you hadn't told me you were trans, I wouldn't have known.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 days ago

I swear this isn't a troll. I truly do have severe confidence issues along with terrible anxiety.

This is honestly just a good-ish photo and I'm definitely not passing. I still boymode in public for that reason.

It's really hard to get out of my head. My bf keeps complimenting me, so do my friends, but it's way too easy to dismiss them. I'm sorry this post seemed like a troll.

I will need FFS for my profile: mainly my forehead. However, reading all of these comments, I'm getting slightly more hopeful. Thank you, kind stranger 🩷

[-] isleepinahammock 11 points 2 days ago

Do you actually know if you pass or not? Have you tried girl moding? It might surprise you if you haven't.

And sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I definitely get the confidence issues. I've dealt with them myself.

[-] AnxiousMiisha 3 points 2 days ago

I have tried girl moding, just in like the worst way possible. I go outside with my bf after dark in girlmode quite often, and even then, I'm really anxious about people staring.
Even without the dysphoria, my anxiety and low self-confidence are killing me...
I'm already taking pills for that, but they're not really helping much. Prog kinda helps with the anxiety though. I should really force myself to get out there more...

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

When you think people are watching you start acting weird, that causes people to watch. People might be looking or even watching tor any number of reasons. Maybe you don't pass. Maybe you're attractive to them. Maybe you look like someone they know. Maybe you look really nervous and they don't know why.

As kindly as I can say this, it's going to be scary until you've done it enough to be comfortable. Do it scared. Accept that it's not the end of the world if someone you'll never speak to thinks you're trans unless it's actively a dangerous place to be openly trans.

Also passing isn't binary. I've had coworkers comment on me being trans at workplaces where other coworkers make remarks about my menstruation.

[-] Seleni@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

You look like a girl to me. My husband’s cousins both have a body profile similar to yours, so I can say with confidence you have a fem bod.

Maybe if you’re getting tagged as a boy still, it’s your voice? Speech classes might help.

[-] McUberStein@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago

I would say it's less my voice and more me boymoding...

But yeah, I'm working on my voice with a professional. Should help a ton.

Thank you

[-] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Are you switching between two different accounts in this thread? It’s a bit confusing, though I get it if you have alts - I just want to be sure nobody’s hijacking your post.

[-] AnxiousMiisha 5 points 2 days ago

I am. I'm abandoning my old account (Peanut/McUberStein) and using my new one (this one) with my new name.

Sorry for the confusion. I don't know why I thought making posts on my old account first and making a new account after was a good idea 😂.

So, yeah. This is my new one.

this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
119 points (100.0% liked)

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