I've got one even older than that!

https://forums.whirlpool.net.au/user/579

I always told my kid they can curse all they want, but they need to be aware of when they do it, because some people find it offensive. I told them I don't care if they curse around me with their friends, or even when talking to me, but I also told them if they do it around their teachers, or other parents, will need to wear the consequences.

Carolina Wren!

When I was 19/20 (decades ago) I moved to the city to go to University. One of my housemates came out as trans many years later, and a few years before me, but while we were in the house, both of us were closeted and in denial.

He and I used to sit on the front deck of the house, playing cards and talking in to the night. I often wonder what would have happened in both of our lives if at any point, we had have got to talking about gender, and felt comfortable coming out to each other (and ourselves) way back then.

But, we didn't have that conversation then... We both still found our way though. You will too :)

There's no such thing as "lazy". It's always, always, always a word used to make someone feel guilty for hitting a personal limit or threshold.

Even if you want to work on those thresholds and improve them, you can achieve that without framing yourself as fundamentally selfish and uncaring.

Reddit was only ever left of center for Americans. To many/most non Americans, America consists of a far right party and a center to center right party.

What you're seeing is the result of a platform that wasn't first created by and for American audiences, and whose initial takeup wasn't dominated by American perspectives.

I thought this was meant to be on good terms? What about your post is fostering good will? It's nothing but trashing on me...

To be clear, every post and user I removed was due to queerphobia, transphobia, trolling or spam, issues that broke the instances rules. Some of that bigotry was was implicit rather than explicit, like dog whistles, tone policing etc. Some of it was the "just asking questions" transphobia that pervades most corporate owned social media spaces.

This is the way I have moderated this instance from before the time I handed this community to moss. When lemmy was just taking off, I asked for people to mod the 196 community after it was abandoned by its original creators, and passed it over to moss when she raised her hand.

So if the goal is for this to be civil, maybe don't paint me as the bad guy for moderating in a way I have done from before your community was created here. What feels like "moderating by vibes" to you, is lengthy experience with community development, and a decade navigating queer and gender diverse communities, and knowing what I want from them. As moss said, this is ideological differences in how low grade transphobia and queerphobia should be dealt with. moss is ok with community pushback for the low grade stuff rather than moderation, whereas I'll just remove it.

That's what I wouldn't compromise on, and that has been the way the instance has run for years now.

It feels like every time I extend 196 a hand, you bite it. I gave the community to moss and started this whole thing. I told another instance admin no when they asked 196 to remove their banner. moss then went and leaked the DMs from said admin, forcing me to remove the post, and then had a public complaint session about me for removing the post.

I have asked 196 for years now to have an active blahaj.zone mod so that someone can deal with the blahaj.zone reports that constantly come through and build up, but still, the best we got were mods with alt accounts that get checked every couple of days, leaving me to deal with the build up of reports on 196. Sometimes they would hang around there for days while I waited for a 196 mod to log in and look at them. And because you don't like the way I deal with them, you drag me over the coals for my moderation style, despite no one from 196 stepping up to deal with those reports on a regular basis.

I was told that you were thinking about moving to another instance. I offered my support if you decided to stay or to leave. And that was the last I heard of it, until one of your mods (possibly you if I remember correctly) told the community you were organising something with lemmy.world, and I had to hear that second hand. And then, when things were finalised and the decision to move was locked in, once more, I heard about it second hand, after your team made a public post, because no one from 196 could be bothered to tell me before posting.

So no, you don't get to paint me as the unreasonable admin who moderates by "vibes". If you want to point the finger at me, at least own your own mistakes, rather than asking for good will and civility and then dumping on me when the chance presents itself.

Trans people

Because stirring up hate against vulnerable minorities, by positioning them as a threat is a well tested and effective technique for the power hungry to gain and retain power. And it's effective, because it works by pulling people in and making all of the conversation about whether or not it's right to hate on the group they're targeting.

Trans people

Just be to clear, the state of the union post was an explanation of coming downtime, not a call for panic :)

We've got the solution and way forward for these issues.

You don't have to move if your main concerns are impact on our resources.

Where I started

Where I ended up

Image descriptions

1st image: - A heavy set person who appears to be a man, in baggy jeans and a t-shirt, leaning against a wooden handrail, holding a laser skirmish gun

2nd image: A curly haired woman in makeup, wearing a teal coloured dress