A set of genetically identical ovaries would be awesome.

Sorry for the first link that popped up. Don't know where that came from. Fixed it now

I've been saying, "I was born without a uterus", which so far seems to answer honestly without directly outing myself as trans.

Any thoughts on how to best navigate this? Ideally without disclosing I'm trans 😅

CW: transphobic boomers. This is going to be a rambling mess. Sorry

So I've definitely had some form of gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember. It's usually manifested as relatively mild things like having significantly more female friends than male friends, choosing female video game characters, and liking more traditionally female hobbies like baking fancy cupcakes. But I never really "acted like a girl" or dressed up and have absolutely no interest in makeup or clothing.

I'm also very much into girls so I never really gave gender much thought. That being said I was always very envious of my lesbian friends because I'm of the opinion that there's nothing more beautiful than two women in love. Although I mostly had bi girlfriends so maybe I give off certain signals.

Now when I mentioned choosing female characters, I mean exclusively. The only male character I've chosen was my avatar on stardew valley and then only because my SO wanted to play with me as me. And to be honest I never saw myself as a girl/woman, I just really wanted to be sometimes. I'm given to understand that when most guys look in the mirror they think things like "I'd look better if I got shredded, or grew a beard whereas I was always more of the opinion that big pillowy tits, thick thighs and an ass so big you can see it from the front would definitely be better.

And then there's all the ways testosterone fucks up my life. I'm constantly angry over nothing and it makes me hate myself. As well as feeling like a bono on crack the whole time. I just want to talk to my friends without constantly daydreaming of ploughing them.

So all that has been building for some time but recently I discovered that an acquaintance from highschool had gone through a transition since we lost touch, and she was living her best life in the fullest sense of the term. I found out because my mother had saved a clipping from a newspaper talking about her novel being nominated for a prize. Not because she thought I would want to know that one of my classmates was successful, but because she thought it was hilarious that someone I knew had transitioned (my mother is a toxic woman). These sentiments were echoed by my father (another deeply flawed individual). But in spite of their obvious amusement, I felt nothing but admiration towards her. She had done this big thing and done it in a rural community. I wish I had the ovaries to do that. So I decided I'd buy her book since my parents had advertised it so effectively.

So recently I was sitting at my desk in my shitty office doing my shitty job and I was brought to the verge of tears by the realisation that being a man was something I never wanted and was making me deeply unhappy. I haven't been happy in as long as I remember. I realised that the first half of my life had gone by and I'd not enjoyed it. It was actually reading through the posts on blåhaj that told me why.

The issue is that I have built a life around my male self. And while it's humble, I don't want to loose everything. I'm sure my partner and kids would be fine with it, but I'm also sure that some degree of prejudice would also follow them if I embraced my true identity. I desperately want to do hrt but I'm apprehensive.

Thoughts?

Hi, I just want to kindly ask what hygiene products to use? Preferably european and cheap, don't care if they are advertising it to men, women, or like unisex or whatever just would like something that works. Idk where to ask, just I as a kid I kinda neglected hygiene and would like some recommendations, also this Philips oneblade was honestly worth buying for me, kinda expansive but worth it :3

I'm terrible at posing, but I did manage to get a good shot instead of my ADHD "the person you are talking to has left the conversation" face.

I remember starting out seeing people post timelines a year or more in and thinking how impossibly distant it seemed. But now here I am after a year, and even I have to admit I look a bit different. It's been crazy, but I'm sooo glad I did it. Here's to another year, and another...

OK, so recently 2 of my jeans broke and so I had to buy new ones. Went shopping in the next City, but not a single store had any kind of jeans that were long enough (German/EU length 36). So I decided to then get them on the internet and when I order from one shop I can just buy 1 jeans Mentz for men and one for women. I then settled on a high waist Jeans and I have to say, that they are much cooler then men jeans.They look kinda cool And they also look way cooler if you add a nice belt. They are also much more comfortable, but that also may just be mine and since its new.

As you all might have guessed, the pockets are way smaller, but that's always the problem.

I also really like my high waist jeans, because that's something that I can get myself to wear it outside than as example anl skirt. It also provided quite a lot to me feeling extra "womenly" today.

I'm trying to find somewhere to store my sperm for fertility preservation before I start estrogen. Anyone got any recommendations in or near the bay area?

Did you get rid of the vellus (fine, downy) hairs as well? I realize the correct answer is "ask your surgeon", but...

The best I can find is that it probably doesn't matter, but since they have the potential to develop into a problem down the road I'm leaning towards better safe than sorry. My electrolysist (electrolygist?) wasn't sure. Hence The straw poll.

Thanks!

I just moved to a new area, which is right on the border between a red state and a blue state (living on the blue side, of course), and I'm looking to set up healthcare appointments. I can search for providers through my insurance, but there's basically no information on them. I would expect that the average medical professional would be more accepting than the average person, but I would still like to increase my chances of finding an accepting provider, since there are definitely phobes around. Are there any tips I can use to help with that?

Hey everyone sorry I’ve been quiet for a bit but I’m back because we really need help. I know some of you had started following the stories I started sharing about our life as queer refugees but I haven’t been able to post another update lately because I’ve had serious issues with my internet and account. It’s been hard just staying connected. Tho we had really a pressing problem and emergency

We’re still in Juba a small group of us queer refugees who escaped to find some safety. But we’re now facing a new emergency. We don’t have beddings no mattresses, no mosquito nets and it’s gotten worse because some of our people have already fallen sick with malaria. We’re trying to care for them with almost nothing. We sleep on bare floors in the cold and there’s no food left. We’re trying to raise almost 589$ to get basic things for us. Please find the support link in my bio or profile. If you can help with anything donation, sharing this post or even just words of encouragement please know it means everything to us. I’ll keep sharing updates when I can but this moment is really tough and we need our community. Thank you so much

With gratitude, Cyara Kaira

Hello nice people.Hello nice people.

I recently lost access to reddit :( and therefore I lost my favorite community 4tran4 :( which I'll miss dearly, those were most beautiful people in the world. And with that I also lost my support group.

I'm hoping somebody here would be able to give me some recommendations.

What I'm looking for is slightly dooming community, people who are not super cheery but rather somehow depressed,

I recently lost access to reddit :( and therefore I lost my favorite community 4tran4 :( which I'll miss dearly, those were most beautiful people in the world. And with that I also lost my support group.

I'm hoping somebody here would be able to give me some recommendations.

What I'm looking for is slightly dooming community, people who are not super cheery but rather somehow depressed, slightly toxic but always good to each other. Supportive, but when somebody is being stupid they would tell them. Not overly affirming, not celebrating every fetish under the world, calling out BS... but still nice to each other.

Can somebody recommend me something? please

I'm struggling to believe that the same person fit in both tops.

So, I'm going to be the best man in my friend's wedding. I'm very flattered to have the honor. He's one of my closest friends, and I have no problem supporting him as his best man/best trans.

Furthermore, I'm out to him, and he has made it clear that he wants me to show up in whatever way makes me the most comfortable. I've picked out a dress, started taking voice lessons, and plan on getting my hair and makeup done professionally.

I don't feel dysphoric at all about filling a traditionally male role, but...

How the fuck do I write a speech? A lot of best men seem to give speeches that joke about their 'bromance' with the groom and all that, which I find to be wholly inappropriate in my scenario.

My first thought was poking fun at picking a woman for best man, but some of his family are transphobic and I don't want to rely on gender humor out of fear that they stew in their transphobia and say something to ruin his wedding. Then I thought maybe I could crack a joke or two about being trans - but I also don't want to lean into the self-deprecation so much that I validate anyone's transphobia.

So, how do I even approach this?

I was thinking I could open with, "When the groom asked me to be his best man, I said, 'sit down, there's something you should know.'"

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but this is a friend who has been there for me in the past. I want to fill my role in his wedding perfectly. Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

Honestly don't have much to say. Just want to show how much I love my trans sisters and give you virtual flowers, since I can't physically give you real flowers. <3 🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🌹🌷🌷🌹🪻🪻🪻🪻🌹🌹🌹🌷🌷🌷

hey does anyone have any progesterone suppliers they can recommend? been on e for a several months now but im looking to also start prog. i wasn't too sure about any of the links on hrtcafe tho...

Hello friends,

I’ve decided to start a series of posts sharing the true stories of queer refugees. I really want to create a clear and honest picture of what life is like for LGBTQ+ people in refugee camps like Kakuma and Gorom. I hope this will help the community understand us better not just what we go through but who we are. I believe storytelling can build connection, awareness and trust.

My name is Cyara Kaira. I’m an Ugandan transgender woman and a passionate human rights defender. I’ve survived violence, displacement and isolation not because I broke the law but simply because I dared to live as myself. My journey into exile began in Kakuma Refugee Camp, Kenya. I arrived there after fleeing Uganda where being trans can mean imprisonment, torture or sometimes death. I thought Kakuma would be a place of safety but instead it was another battlefield of trauma. In Kakuma, LGBTQ+ people are treated as if we are not human. I lived in constant fear. One night a group of men attacked us and tried to burn down our shelter. The trauma from that night still lives in my bones. I wasn’t sure we’d survive. This happened several times where queer refugees were usually stoned, cut with machetes and burned to death. It is on record that we have been losing lives starting from new born babies.

The camp had no support system for queer refugees. We were left to fend for ourselves and punished when we tried to speak out : ( I was threatened to be killed by the head of police ( OCPD) of Turkana region simply because i stood up for others. Remember this wasn’t me at all I didn’t wake up one time and thought that I can one time battle with some government institutions or UNHCR simply because they failed to respect even the basic human rights. They turned me to who I am today. A lot of transphobia happened to me and my fellow queer refugees that really forced us to flee to South Sudan. Now you might ask why of all countries near Kenya. The neighboring countries of Kenya were Tanzania, South Sudan and Uganda my home country which almost the leading country in world for criminalizing LGBTQ individuals. South Sudan was the nearest to the Kakuma refugee camp.

Here is a link of PinkNews about me and the life of transgender refugees in Kakuma. It was taken some years ago but I believe it can also add to the story I am talking about.

We fled to Gorom a refugee settlement in South Sudan. It was meant to be safer. But the truth is even here life remains uncertain and painful. Literally the same and here also the government is really strictly against us. We are because of UNHCR’s advocacy and also UNHCR cannot do more if the government speaks. I really have a very long story that I can tell for days.

In my next post, I’ll share what it’s like for queer people living in Gorom how we survive, what we lack and how we care for one another.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for seeing us.

CyaraKaira

Heya! I’ve been looking into getting an orchiectomy, but I’m having a really hard time finding a surgeon. I’m located in Arizona, USA. Does anyone have any tips or recommendations?

Hello everyone I really wanted to make this update. 4 days back we got shelter for me and my sisters and some other queer refugees. My sis Tash will be updating the fundraiser soon. Huge thanks to everyone who really supported us out of the situation in the camp. But now we have one challenge left is that we don’t have beddings such as mattress, blankets and mosquito nets. the shelter is quite empty. We really want to prevent the risk of diseases. Malaria is so much common and pneumonia due to so many mosquitoes and cold winds during the night. We have most vulnerable people who have HIV and some kids. That need immediate attention because of their condition. The shelter is very cold at night. The other challenge is that we don’t have food honestly and we are at risk of starvation yet we have some who have to take medication on a daily basis and also require a balanced diet. Please consider sharing and supporting us through the support link on my profile. Or here

https://gofund.me/bd40a4f9

Thank you so much

CyaraKaira

I just started HRT a couple weeks ago and I've noticed that my nose is the clearest it's been in my adult life. I always used to have some resistance when breathing through my nose and I had a perpetually runny nose, but basically the day after starting HRT it was much better and I even sound less nasally when I talk. I was just wondering if anyone else noticed something similar. I'm doing estradiol injections and oral progesterone.

Well, it finally happened to me. Somehow I now feel like crap for having a dick. I knew that at some point I wanted to get bottom surgery, but it hasn't been because I desperately wanted to cut of my dick and felt shit because I still have one, but because I knew I wanted a vagina. Yesterday evening it turned around and now I feel absolutely miserable for still having one. Why does my brain has to make my life even harder than it already is? This type of Dysphoria is kind of a next level. It (at least currently) doesn't really go away and noticing The source of my Dysphoria every time I move is next level crap.

Just wondering what moments of gender euphoria or joy you have experienced, was hoping we all might enjoy hearing some positive stories!

I'll start: today, I went to my laser hair removal place to reschedule an appointment and nobody was at the front desk, and after waiting for a while I went to use the ladies room and ran into a woman even taller than me who immediately called me gorgeous and then proceeded to compliment my makeup, earrings, and hair. I was like a deer in the headlights, simply stunned as if I had slipped into an alternate universe where this complete stranger was actually a close friend and I had forgotten. Nobody is that nice to me, let alone a stranger.

Anyway, women can be so wonderful, and this moment made me grateful to be a woman. 😊

That said, my movements weren’t perfect because of brain damage, and I was certainly out of shape, but I had a really good time.