For me to get HRT I need the gender dysphoria / gender incongruent diagnosis, then it would be covered by the healthcare system. So would be electrolysis, voice training and if necessary Facial feminisation surgery. It’s just that only a few places are allowed to give you the diagnosis and they do assess you for about half a year. I finally got into the place in my area and they sent me a letter that they might start the assessment in about 3 or more years. Yaaaaaaaaay…… :-(

So how has your week been?

I seem to be in a good place right now in regards to the general health of my larynx. A good time to start on my voice.

I can actually sound feminine with relative ease, but there's a catch: only with a strong regional British accent. Can I sound like a woman from Belfast? Yes! Glasgow? Absolutely! Birmingham? Yeah. Am I from any of those places? Nope!

I can also sound feminine while I'm singing, but I'm not going to go around acting like I'm in a Gilbert and Sullivan play, so I need to work on sounding like a feminine me. So I need a famous woman or character who has close to a relatively neutral RP English (leaning slightly towards Scottish but not much) and a large amount of spoken recordings like interviews and acting roles.

Any suggestions?

NB: my accent is in no way posh or plummy. Kind of lower middle class.

Came out to my mum, but will need to at some point come out to my dad.

Problem is, my dad, is straight up chronically online and is transphobic. Maybe not quite michael knowles transphobic but he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous and is just a fetish.

I'm planning to come out to my brother (who definitely isnt transphobic) before hand, to get as much "backup" as possible. My mum is ok with it so i have backup there lol.

Im considering just not telling him until ive moved out, so that I dont have to put up with him but idk, thats probs far out (at least a year)

Help :(

Seriously? Taking the advice from my doctor, im supposed to trash after 4th shot. He says there will be a bit left, but because of contamination(???) he wants me to switch vials every 4th shot.

Like, is that the real reason? Because it physically hurts to throw this away, knowing how much i and others have worked to get this stuff in the first place, and how many sisters cant access it 😭

Also really seems like a waste of time and resources. Like people had to make this, and that required time effort and money. Are we cool with throwing away the results of so much progress and effort?

Idk, its hitting me now that i have to toss one, these are all questions i have that my doctor will probly hear next time i go in 😂😂

PS. My nails look bad, its been a really rough month, dont talk about it 😂

After many years I'm finally trying to move toward transitioning ,but there's just so much to do that I don't really know where or even how to start.

I fear that going directly into HRT without doing anything else before will just make things harder. That I should get laser or voice training first or I don't know what else. I fear that doing it "wrong" will just make me feel awful and despite the mirror even more and push me back further into the "I don't need it" thing.

I also have no idea of what is the current standard for HRT or what to expect and whenever I find myself thinking all of these I end up just not looking for doctors or more info.

Any help?

One of the most basic facts about biology we have known for decades is that a woman's estrogen levels are supposed to go up and down quite significantly during the course of her cycle. A cycle that starts around the same time as Puberty and which ends during menopause.

It makes no sense to me that in spite this being common knowledge doctors and even fellow trans people will parrot the idea that you can just average a woman's cycle out and as long as you stay around that average (often far below average) you'll be fine.

To me this comes from the transphobic idea that trans women and cis women are these fundamentally different creatures who respond to estrogen very definitely.

I didn't test this intentional at first but "luckily" Hrt isnt a thing in my country (trans people as far as the medical system is concerned don't exist) so I've been forced to DIY. As a result of fumbling around trying to figure out my doses without really checking levels I came to realize multiple things.

My sex drive changes depending on my dose. High doses meant for the week my libido would be very high low doses meant the opposite.

Where I felt changes (my skin stretching from fat redistribution) changed depending on dosage. Typically a lower dose meant more chest development while a higher dose meant I felt more stretching in my hips)

Emotional changes where either more present or less present depending levels

After doing a bit o research I found that all these things are natural things the majority of women go through during their cycle.

The trans people who completely lose their ability to have a libido are likely just on a dose which represents a low for them and since they constantly stay at a low they don't experience what their natural libido is supposed to be.

And on the flip side the trans people who become hyper sexual have the reverse issue. They are constantly at a level which represents a "high" for them meaning they never get a break from it and are also robbed of what a natural libido is supposed to feel like.

I'm tired of people trying to claim at x dose you should experience changes as if looking feminine is the only function of estrogen in the human body and as if "average levels" Don't already look way different from person to person.

Trans women are normal women and shouldn't be robbed of as natural of a hormone system as possible. Our current system is working backwards from the idea that trans women are just men who "want" To look like women when that's not true.

I'm a butch transbian. I've been thinking a lot lately about my butch identity, and how my experiences with butchness overlaps and maybe differs in some areas to my non-transfemme butch siblings. For example:

• We've likely grown up with very different bodies and genitals, and that has impacted our relationship to our butchness
• Our struggle with presenting butch in a way that doesn't get us misgendered or give us dysphoria
• Dealing with the pressure from outside transfemme circles and inside to present more feminine
• Feeling like a fraud in lesbian spaces, because I feel like I'm dressing like a "man", despite knowing that butch identity is a whole separate thing.
• Fearing exclusion from cis lesbians, what if they think im a cis dude creeping around?
• The lack of representation for butchness in transfemmininty
• How do other butch transfemmes feel about femminine clothing?
• How do we feel about compliments? Beautiful vs handsome?
• Feeling tension between wanting to present more feminine in some ways to "escape" the masculinity I was imprisoned by growing up.

I would love to hear about any thoughts and experiences you've got.

good weather? yup

sunny porch? yup

warm hoodie? yup ❤️

sleepy? every day

2 blahaj? :3

after these I fell into an uninterrupted two hour nap. woke up and still felt warm and cozy with blahajs to greet me :3

heyhi. something interesting struck me which i wanted to hear if yall peeps are having similar feels.

am approx. 1.5 months into hrt. horray <3

however! the evil awful disgusting evilenourmous horny feels dulled down for an entire week once already! wowie zowie 🐘🍎!

aaaaanyway- ive been having a different feeling more often. a feeling ive only had previously while.... on a rollercoaster or free-fall-tower.

a light bum or floating bum feel. 🍃🌬

its always been a thing, its nothing new... i actually used to think its only in

but no - its the entire bum i believe. when i told my friends about that rollercoaster feeling they thought weirdly of it. fair.

but now. yes now, sitting on a chair near a fan wearing..... a long sleeve turtleneck... i am having it rn. and i have had it more frequently.

today my crush called me mouse which----- umm.,.,.,,,·,.,.,. i umm.,., reallyyyy liked..,., and and and that got me the same feeling!!!! >o<

and and also now when having certain fantasies... where most of which aren't even spicy but about

• making food for my friends
• being a mother
• being a mama type of character in general

yea thats it, no more. have u had similar feels? orrrrr am i just... idunno - discovering something that has always been there but now im more open for it?

EDIT: removed my own "if nobodys gonna answer, i will" comment.

giiirls, w-where girls, i need girls in my bed, i need girl headpats, booooooooobs, where giiirls to touch my boobs

www-where?!?!!? i need kisses, i need i neeed AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i need i nnnneeeed cute words, i neeeed a cute words

i need called a good girl

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

nolonger ace tho, where my sesbian lex activities whwhehehrwhehwrhwhehwrwhehwrh

wwhwhhehwehrhwhrhwrhwehrlwej MEOWMEOWMEOWMROM MRPRMPRMRPMRPRMRPMRPRMWPEMPWMRPMR mrpmeorm0wepmeomeowmromewomr oma;,d;ka;lks;alkd;lfioshasj;'a';lsa';fd

i want someone to meow together

www--wherere catgirls MEOWMOEWMEOWMROmoermeormopmepwmrop mrpmrpmrprmprmrpmr pmrprmpr meeoameomwoewmrowmeowmaemwomeaormo

they was tryed to fix my gender thru schizophrenia treatment(evrn for schizopheria is too hard)

fluvoxamine 2024 july -> december up to 175mg
alimemazine 2024 july -> august idk dose
risperidone 2024 august -> september (because i tried to start HRT lol) -> prolactinoma(does they fucked my undeveloped breasts? they didmt grow much but also can be genetic)
aripiprazol 2024 september -> december up to 30 mg
promazine -> only two pills, mom decided that is too hard doctor decision
hydroxyzine -> 2024 autumn idk how much since forced
lurasidone -> 2024 december up to 120 mg, stopped 20 mg only 3 months ago
clomipramine -> 2024 december -> 2025 april, up to 75 mg
valproic acid -> 2024 december -> 2026 january, up to 1500 mg
phenibut -> 2024 december -> 2025 march, placebo dose 500mg
hopantenic acid -> dont remember much but def was in 2025 autumn
acetazolamide -> dont remember much
emoxypine -> spring 2025, also autumn 2025
piracetam -> dont remwmber
sertraline -> may 2025 -> still taking and tapering(and feeling only better!)

testosterone -> by body itself from 12 yo up to 15.9 yo

now i still have muscle rigidgy shit idk

i got chemical&psychological CPTSD, thank you mom ~~i will kill you someday~~

i got strong desire to soft recreational drugs by last 7 month, even if i feel good, a very good i still wanna some euphoric chemical(i got addicted to some of bumped drugs? i got damaged receptors from antipsychotics? or its ADHD?) (never did recreational drugs since i strong controlled by parents and govrenment)

tapering "medicines" -> feeling only better

why every right wing "doctor" propaganda scream about forever addiction and tolerance to any drug, but noone doctor screams about forever antipsychptic brain damage?

i tried to fix post-antipsychotic muscle shit via tizanidine which is a2-adrengenic receptor agonist GOT DEVELOPED TOLERANCE IN FEW DAY!!! upped dose, GOT DEVELOPED TOLERANCE again, possibly my a2 receptor damaged by ANTAGONIST antipsychotics(all, lurasidone, risperidone, aripiprazol etc) since that fast tolerance weird for standart doses of this med

how long my brain receptors recovery will take? when my CNS get repaired

I started hormones around 9 months ago and a few months ago felt like I couldn't stand my job for one more second and quit. I've been applying to jobs in my field, and I'm getting interviews consistently. Every single time so far I've eventually gotten this horrible feeling like I don't want anything to do with the company or the people who work at them. This has resulted in me... lets say not bringing my A game to the interviews because frankly I don't even want these jobs, so I haven't gotten any offers.

Idk what to do at this point other than keep trying and hoping someone decides to give me a chance. I've thought about changing careers, but I'm in my 30s so it feels a little late. Part of me can't imagine staying in my field anymore, the people are just so gate keepy and elitist, but I also can't imagine anything else being better...

What were y'alls experience after hormones? Did you change careers, stay? Did things work out?

FIRST TIME I GOT SOME ACCESSORIES AAAA THEY TICKLE MY BRAIN SO SO SO AWESOME ESPECIALLY THE RAZOR CHOKER >///<

lazy lazy Sunday feeling sleepy snuggly cute cozy all of the above :3

Edit: I'm a little worried I may have misused the word "alleviate", which I thought means "to ease a little bit in a non permanent way". Sorry if I accidentally made you all confused. xD

I wrote this in another community the other day:

As to why I insist on buying female centric vinyls, I’m not quite sure, but it could have something to do with my gender dysphoria. I believe the psychological mechanism is too complex for me to even begin to understand, but I think I listen to what I want to become or what I would have wanted to be in the first place, gender-wise (voice, body, clothing, etc.). Maybe vinyl, being an older medium, brings me back to and helps me imagine a childhood that I wish I could have had? I just spitballing here though…

Here is the original post: https://piefed.blahaj.zone/post/821181/comment/4976422#comment_4977719

Can you relate? Is there music that alleviates your dysphoria?

This pic is from yesterday. Hair and makeup on fucking point. I would have gone and changed my gender marker on my license which requires a new photo, but I'm moving in a week and an address change also requires a new photo, so it made no sense to go twice. 😭

AMAB 37 Sweden

After an arduous back and forth between my local clinic, four different physicians, one tax funded psychiatrist and one private counsellor, I finally met a doctor at my local clinic who simply listened. I felt no need whatsoever to defend myself or to explain myself to death, as these things otherwise usually go in this country's health care system. They told me that the depression and anxiety disorders that I had been diagnosed with a few years back can display similar symptoms to gender dysphoria. Also, the traditional treatments for depression and anxiety - therapy and medication - had not yielded the desired effects, which they deemd to be yet another indication that referring me to a gender identity clinic would be "worth it". Gee thanks... -_-

I felt both happy and empty on the inside, at the same time. It was like a huge weight fell off of me, but I had never imagined that somebody would every take my desire to be able to love myself seriously, so I was in some sort of shock, I guess.

All in all, the referral is away, and now I'm waiting to hear from the specialist clinic.

Cheers (with coffee).

not really trans related but wanna ask transfemmes

my muscles are shit especially on face, no assymetry (dropping to jaw, deeping midface, movements too strong and sharp, brow muscles dropping too, scalp muscle becoming hypermovable, mouth worst of worst, masseters muscles becoming strong and lead to TMJ issues, face expressions hard to control)
shoulders and neck are tensed as hell too, arms too, spine too, sometimes painful, increased sweating, increased sensory sentivity

sometimes get better by itself but for a short period

tried tolperisone which said psychiatrist - get very hell since first pill

tried selfmedicate with tizanidine - worked on first 2mg pill, on start was VERY GOOD (2mg/2x) but then stopped, then (2mg/3x) not really helped, then (4mg/3x) started helping again, after some days is again insane shit(i developing tolerance too fast? halflife is sad 3 hour)

psychiatrist dont wanna help me at all

going to neurologist potentially dangerous and probably get russo-soviet false-science treatment again

tizanidine only available true science muscle relaxant medication, baclofen is on very very strong prescribtion blank, nobody prescribe it to especially minor, even to my wheelchair 63 yo grandma they are very very hard tried to deny low dose pregabalin prescribtion(we have 75mg 30pills now, try to take atleast to soften sertraline withdrawal? with stopping tiza too becayse soo much CNS depressants), benzos are same, from gabas only phenibut on soft prescribtion but its very shit, clonidine same

on testosterone was much much worse yeah and nonstop, now is sometimes good sometimes ok sometimes very shit

now taking(slowly tapering) sertraline 150mg -> 125mg few days

my CNS, brain was very very very fucked before((((( so probably i have some sort of CPTSD, brain damage (i am AuDHD too)

brain MRI is pretty okay

some bloodwork shit are always super normal

hormones is 220pg E2, 1 nmol T, 186 pg/ml DHT(ELISA method), shbg 150 nmol due awful gel spikes)

possibly neuroleptic syndrome?

this what shit i forcefully bumped at different times(conversion therapy):

• fluvoxamine
• alimemazine
• risperidone
• aripiprazole
• promazine
• hydroxyzine
• lurasidone
• clomipramine
• valproic acid
• phenibut
• hopantenic acid
• acetazolamide
• emoxypine
• piracetam
• sertraline
• testosterone

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/44284036

a family member bought this electric bicycle (lectric XP lite 2) and we have been having a go on it. it is a one speed bicycle though so its certainly interesting hehe.

the fit today was just jeans and this t shirt. more photos:

we also got our physician to write a letter of support for orchiectomy and vaginoplasty, as well as a referral to a hospital for the former, which is cool. unfortunately wait times are certainly a thing that may likely need to be contended with. oh well :)

after posting this we've been thinking about how surprisingly affirming it is to put "traditionally" more masc clothing into a more feminine style. after all, this fit is literally jeans, a t-shirt, and a cap. the exercise of implementing those smaller cues like the flower pin and the sequin covered belt is fun in of itself but our euphoria seems to stem most prominently from breaking societal norms in a girly way!

gender norms are so fun to violate :D

part of my transition has always been getting control over as much shit in my life as possible. given how much my supposed blood relative, caregiver, spawnpoint, whatever now, betrayed my trust... I don't want her hands in any of my shit, no matter how sorry she is. I'm in control of my life. I'm going to continue exploring and feeling my way around the bends. 0 boymoding anywhere. growing as a person. just without her.

betrayal on that level has really fucked me up and I can see it's affecting how I view close relationships and how rarely I ask for help. I guess sometimes my brain goes into pattern recognition mode and the irrational fear of very close trust takes over. with time, with my friends that have been on my side (that I can never repay properly), ~~with professional support 💀~~, I'll get somewhere better. ❤️

she could've really been a part of it. I have so much success I share with my friends, with Lemmy, with the world, and sometimes I wish I had someone to look up to that would revel in the same joy I do trying on crop shirts, skirts, socks, chokers, makeup, etc., the modifications I've made to my older clothes, how much progress I've made with my voice training, figuring out epilation (SO AWESOME), how my body fat has already started heading in the right places, how I've always kept up with every injection and which side so I can alternate and how I've been doing it right every time as of recent. but I've had my head on straight for a while. being proud of myself and that little light inside of me has always kept me going.

in the pic, I'm simply throwing my old SIM to the wayside now that most of my stuff is transferred over to my new number. it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but to me it feels symbolic. a plan that I'm paying for. to have something physical to throw away, kinda helps my mind let go of things, the past.

the screen protector and frame has also taken a little beating over this time, but I'm ok with it. I'm still ok even though I'm a little worn, and so is my phone. we compliment each other!!!!

not the theme of my recent posts, but I don't have a usual life! buuuuut, heading out to the mall and thrift store later today... will see if I get any interesting pulls... and will share... :3

i'm finally graduating from high school soon :D oh my god i'm so glad that i'm leaving this shithole behind. anyways hopefully i'll be studying abroad this or next year. i want to transition where i live but surprise surprise "where i live" isn't really nice towards queer people.

should i include that i'm seeking asylum to transition? i feel like its a bit too much as i don't know if i can call myself a refugee. (also i don't want to forfeit my current citizenship lol)

also any uni/college suggestions for computer science? united states is a big nono unless i get accepted by a high ranking college and if it's in a blue state

Hi all,

Im looking for some input/advice/help. I came out as trans some month ago. Its been on my mind for 15+ years and it feels great to finally have come out.

But I always have an extremely hard time internalizing stuff, and very much so in this case. This worry that "i might not be" keeps eating away at my brain and I dont know where to turn to ask for advice.

Ive tried to get more in touch with my feminine side and I absolutely love it. The initial gender euphoria was crazy. Ordering new clothes and ripping off the old mask of trying to meet the masculine ideals that was expected of me has been so freeing.

However, i havent come out at work or to my family yet. So i do have to put that mask back on almost daily. Some days really suck. Seeing myself in the mirror ranges for masc stubble nightmare to still seeing a version of me that I like (which I have never done before).

But something in my head keeps bugging me. A little goblin inside telling me "what if youre wrong?", "what if youre actually not trans", "you dont feel that bad when youre still looking masc", "youre not that dysphoric".

The gremlin has always been there in other scenarios but this time is giving me so much issues with my headspace just due to how important this whole journey is to me.

Does anyone have any advice? Is this normal? Is it common for people to deal with fantasy creatures in their head? Should I rethink my life choices?

I have no idea where to turn with this one but atleast tried to book a time with the only therapist/doctor ive met whos been able to properly talk about gender dysphoria. Although im afraid of how much I can/should say because trans care sucks here and I really dont want to be left out of the opportunity of actually getting help.

(alternatively I'm strangling you)

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/44115369

heavily inspired by another tattoo ive seen. Ive loved it since i saw it but i dont want someone elses exact tattoo, so we made some changes to make it more unique.

Im honestly in love with it! She (Avalon) did such a great job and at the same time made it a safe and welcoming space to be in. She has a trans brother as well, so we connected a bit over that!

Lemme know what yall think! Happy monday 😂

i dont have any depression
idk but kinda sertraline very useless

my mind that good only because hrt and getting off psychopills better and better (was valproate + lurasidone before) + more comfy social environment

aaaaaaaaaaaaa it did basically nothing like placebo whole time i taken it from autumn 2025

should i just get off from this? want but quite scary, dropping 25mg every two weeks(psycho moving doses by 50mg is heeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll!!!!!! but 25mg moving is pretty comfy for me usually) (150mg now)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hate psychopills so muuuuch but some are awesome hehehehehe but def not SSRIs for me

also someone know how to deal with muscle hypertension?(especially face but shoulder/spine is also veryyy awful) i took tizanidine somedays(2mg/twice, now 2mg/3times) it HELPED SOOOO MUCH but from yesterday stopped((((((((((((((( need wait a bit more uhhhhhhhhhhhh, pls no directing to doctors i already tried psycho he awful and unkind, also psycho think that i am normal (but my sensory shit verryy disstress tooo much when soooo much tension), neurologist there no good ones, they want money, and ~~obessed with boobs~~, estradiol helped a lot with hypertension but stillll aaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it was much more awful before