More men should wear skirts and dresses. With right style even masculine men can look good with such clothes.
And long hair. Long hair is so beautiful and sexy that everyone should grow long hair despite of the gender.
Fortunately for you, Scotland exists
As a bald man... Fuck your long hair encouragement! (Out of spite, and envy)
I run in circles where dudes semiregularly wear kilts.
I've sat in a circle with other dudes where they were comparing brands of utility kilts. Lol
There are folks out there that wear them. It's just not super fashionable in a lot of circles. Unfortunately.
i remember reading that in the medieval age, most noble men had long hair because it was a sign of wealth and such
In the 60s and 70s, feminists fought for the idea that people should feel free to dress and act however they wanted and not let their gender define them.
It seems like we've taken some steps backwards since then. Men wearing dresses is more accepted now, but only in the narrow confines of being trans. I don't think Kobain or Bowie ever wanted to be defined as trans, they just wanted to be themselves and challenge cultural norms.
There's a man's skirt sitting in my Etsy favorites for so long. It's scary to pioneer something like this but it's so tempting at the same time.
Buy it and start small! Debut it for friends indoors, get the validation and confidence and slowly start working your way up to wearing it outdoors :3
here's the picture that i saw when i was 11 that made me binary:
Fake news. Minimalism did not yet exist back then.
Minimalism was a forced choice at the time
Before I came out as transfemme, I was in the city of Manaus in Brazil, traveling during Carnaval. Manaus is not terribly popular with foreigners, and I stood out as very white, very American, and very blonde, so lots of people would stare, want to talk with me, randomly touch my long hair, etc. All normal travel things.
During a concert however three guys were actively watching and inspecting me, all turned away from the stage to do so. They'd turn to talk to each other, and then turn right back to stare at me. Not so normal, and I was getting a little spooked and thinking about an exit plan, when they all came right up to me with a phone out.
One shouted over the crowd as he showed me his phone, "This you?!" and showed me a picture of Kurt Cobain. Hilarious, and seeing Kurt in a dress of course is even funnier now in hindsight. I said no, pointed out that he was dead, shook a couple hands, and they wandered off. Fun times.
Nice try, Kurt.
okay but are those jorts underneath the dress?
I get wearing some shorts underneath for safety, believe me. I remember being a smol femboy insecure about my body and posture. but jorts? jorts‽
It was the early 90s, of course they're jorts
This is what can be achieved when you leave fear behind
No, those are jeans cut into shorts
Terrible news champ, when you cut jeans into shorts length you create jorts.
Honestly, I think if she were still around, things would be different for her.
It doesn't matter how much evidence you gather; we can't say that a dead person who never came out was trans. It sucks and it's a tragedy how things panned out, but if there's one thing he didn't like in life, it was people trying to analyze his psychology. No matter how well intentioned, it's just us applying our own worldview to things we can never get definitive answers to.
That's actually really gross and an erasure of trans people from history. There are a lot of cases now and throughout history of trans people unable to come out but have personal records or accounts from those close to them detailing how they felt about themselves. Saying we shouldn't suggest anyone who was never out was trans isn't just taking an unbiased stance, trans people are deliberately and systemically pressured from not coming out and there's cases of trans people who were out who have their identities erased postmortem. So contributing to that feels at best like giving up ground to people who want us dead and erased.
It's a different story if we do that firsthand accounts that more definitively indicate how that self identified, but from what I know about Kurt Cobain, he was just very eggy and queer coded. It's entirely possible Kurt was trans, but the reason we can't know for sure is because he never found out, not because his identity was erased.
Something that should be made very clear when talking about dead people who never found out, is that you can't "find out" for them. Self-discovery is something that can only happen from the self. It can't happen when someone dies. So if they didn't before they died and they never told anyone, you can't assume they did because you can't actually know, and it's equally likely you are misgendering them.
Imagine you had an AMAB friend who gave you really eggy vibes, and one day you decided to start referring to them as "she". Your friend hasn't come out, hasn't even said anything to you in private, but you insist on using she/her pronouns for them everywhere, to everyone they know, against their wishes. That would be pretty fucking gross right?
I actually agree completely that Kurt was very likely trans. But I don't think it's cool to loudly and publicly misgender people, no matter the intent.
??? please dont egg dead people, egging is rude to begin with. he never said he's trans, and never wanted people to analyze his psychology, so listen to his wishes
I agree. Egg culture is already shitty as it is. Posthumous egg culture combined with posthumous misgendering is really shitty and I for one hate it. The dead can't defend themselves against intentional misgendering, and even if you make the argument that the dead can't suffer anymore, that isn't true for their loved ones who are still here.
1 picture of him in a dress does not make him trans
On the one hand, we should always be cautious never to conclude anything about another person's gender on their behalf.
On the other hand, it's a lot more than one photo. And I'm not just talking about the fact that there's literally multiple photos from multiple shows. Kurt's family found a pretty sizeable collection of women's clothes and makeup in his home. There are multiple interviews where he talks about feeling closer to the feminine side of the human experience or how he always tended to gravitate more towards having female friends, lots of stuff like that.
There's also supposedly an early draft of All Apologies - supposed because the document exists but some people contend the authenticity - with the line "Let me grow some breasts."
None of this is conclusive and should not be read as such, but anyone who has seen someone struggling with their gender is going to have a hard time coming to any other conclusion. Given Kurt's obvious struggles with self-worth and eventual suicide, it's hard not to see a painfully familiar pattern playing out here.
I disagree with people who posthumously assign him she/her pronouns and insist on categorically stating he was trans - that's just as much misgendering as it would be to deny a trans person's identity - but I think it's a pretty reasonable assumption all told.
Or...maybe he was just a femboy yk
Maybe, maybe not but it's still a possibility that many in this comment section seem to forget
I think you've got the right of it. Deciding without asking that someone is "she" feels like a loss of agency on their part. Especially if Kurt is on the record saying he wished people wouldn't do that.
Thinking that Kurt's actions means he was gender nonconforming and possibly a trans woman is perfectly good and sad :'(
For the record, if I died before I came out I would want to be posthumously transitioned.
I never chose my AGAB. Don't assume.
That implies one can be un-made from non-binary or made straight or made gay. Is this true?
I think it means Kurt Cobain was so obviously and genuinely gender/identity queer at a time when there wasn't a popular conception of such a thing that people who were also queer saw Kurt and realized that, at the very least, being a boy or girl, man or woman, doesn't need to be this one thing, which is socially reinforced in the negative.
Kurt expressed something we didn't have words for as young people in the early 90s. But as you dug deeper, it was all in Kurt's music, from the very beginning. It was drastically different from depictions of "transvestites" we had grown up with. And it was not just a token identification with conflicting gender identities, but deep grappling with all these inner thoughts, experience, worry, frustration, love. And everybody loved it. Through Nirvana's music, I think you could feel accepted for being queer, because Kurt's music was deeply resonant with many queer people's experience, and it was hugely popular and culturally prominent.
And there's Kurt with dirty long hair in a dress, beautiful blue eyes, looks like about to tell someone "fuck you* and bash someone over the head with his cheap Japanese Mustang, which Kurt was known to do. The coolest rockstar on the planet, in a thriftstore dress.
So maybe op meant something like, "I identified my own queerness when I saw Kurt's". But all this is made up just someone alive and infatuated with Nirvana at the time.
This is written in the booklet of Incesticide:
At this point I have a request for our fans. If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us - leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records.
Scientists have not found that pic yet.
So it was that darn mtv after all…
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