I LOVE WEARING A SKIRT

MY LEGS ARE SMOOTH AND SWISHING A SKIRT IS SO GOOD

I FEEL SO FEMININE AND I LOVE IT

AHHHHHH EUPHORIA

I've been in therapy for a few months and I really want to start HRT soon but I don't know if my therapist will write me the required letter. If she doesn't by the end of this month I'm going to start doing DIY, is there anything I should know about the process before I get started, anything I should be aware of? Are there risks or side effects. Things that I should be aware of before going in

P.S. Don't give me any of that crap about detransitioning, you don't know me well enough to say I would, frankly I'll never call myself a boy again, not of my own volition or to capitulate to others.

Edit: Thank you all so much for the information and resources, sorry if I wasn't able to respond to people's comments sooner, things have been hard and I've been busy lately.

New to the community, but lurking for ever and stuck inside my egg for the past decade. I finally hit the wall where I was either going to come out or break down. So far, I'm super lucky to have a fantastic and understanding spouse who has my back, but that's literally the extent of my support network. I've always been pretty shy and impersonal, so I have a very tiny friend group. That said, I'm over 40 and can't wait to transition any longer. I just can't seem to find any physicians in my area that I don't think will either deny me care or treat me like I'm a liar. I'm fine with going straight to an endochrinoligist and signing an informed consent, but I really think I should see a therapist or counselor about some things I've been struggling with. I'm just having a difficult time of knowing who I can and can't trust, and I don't really have anyone around to ask. The only out transfem I know is a professional acquaintance and I'm way too scared to out myself to her yet. I've gone through most of the publicly available lists and tools for finding practitioners but they either don't take my insurance or don't cover my area. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I want to get started so badly because I feel like I already missed out on so much of life as my true self, but the roadblock now seems to be that I can't even trust my family physician to know who I really am.

its been 5 years.

fuck.

I've wanted to transition for a 4th of my life now and I still don't have enough control over my life to be me.

i would probably hate myself so much less if i had started hrt and transitioning when i wanted to.

rant over ill probably delete this post i just needed to vent im sorry

Some choice quotes from the last time I saw a thread like this:

• When I was 8 someone told me that girls go to college to get more knowledge, and boys go to jupiter to get more stupider. And obviously I took that personally ReverendPancakes
• I grew bewbs from the COVID vaccine and decided it was easier to just run with it. DepressivesBrot
• Smaller hitboxes Fantasygoria
• I drank tap water and soy milk.
• life was too easy, so i increased the difficulty setting and this is what happened hdj103
• Clearly because women have such an easier time in life DrHob0
• According to my Mormon ultra right wing father: I have an infatuation with the female body and was bitten by the social contagion bug and there is no cure. The reasoning for this belief is I once told him I don't think that people who watch porn are bad/going to hell, and I didn't see it as a problem for someone to watch it. So to recap. I watched porn. Saw naked woman. Went wow v pretty I wanna look like that. Then took hormones👍 mist_wraith_
• I personally felt that my safe access to public bathrooms was too damn high froglipsmulligan
• I couldn't get a goth gf so I became the goth gf A_Sneaky_Dickens
• Better bouyancy when swimming Blah-Blah-Blah-2023
• To bring down western civilization. MyynMyyn
• Because I was a hitman for organized crime but I got caught. Transitioning was my only option when I went into witness protection when I ratted out my employers. Dakotaisapotato
• So I can balance my phone on my boobs instead of having to hold it when I’m relaxing and watching YouTube Somethingintheway245
• I wanted to study tiddy jiggle physics for animation purposes DaAwesomeNeko
• Um, girls rule, boys drool, duh. MyconautAlien
• I signed up for a trial gender & forgot to cancel. Better_Image_5859
• There were too many dudes in my field (engineering) so I got auto-balanced. Cassie_Darkborn
• So I'd be less embarrassed when choosing a female character in games. throwaway_eclipse1
• A drag queen started reading a book out loud while I was in the same room. ATransFemalePerson
• My eyelashes were too long to not corncrakey
• To get cheaper auto insurance rates 👍 Various_Ad_4533
• Because that shark plushie was just too damn cute not to buy 🏳️‍⚧️🦈 KingOfRedLlamas
• I started programming and just accidentally became a girl. swiftsorceress
• I used a bunch of drugs and wanted to move on to something harder. So I started taking estrogen. Kept chasing the high. Oops, now I have tits and an ass. FecalAlgebra
• I wanted conservatives to have strong opinions on what I do with my body. ususetq
• Because I sarcastically said "well I have the legs for it" every time the prospect of me wearing women's clothing came up in conversation in high school. I had to continue the bit. MC_White_Thunder
• No one ever talked to me at the bar and I got tired of buying my own drinks.
• Because I got infected with “The Gay(tm)” as I have no agency of my own SpicyNovaMaria
• I accidentally checked the wrong box on the presurgical paperwork and woke up with boobs Wzd_JA
• In case I have to kill the Witch-king of Angmar SmoothSoup

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22341287

Hello gamers,

the first version of the pitch overlay is now available on github. It works on Linux and is somewhat of a mess for Windows (it will be fixed in the coming days, read the documentation).

Obviously it's open source, so feel free to mess with it!

Any feedback is appreciated, report bugs and stuff via github.

Here is the link: Yippie Link

Read the readme! Don't be like me!

If you don't know what I'm referring to, check this post

Tl;dr: It's a tool similar to the app voice tools to help you see your voice's current pitch, to potentially aid in voice training while at your puter :3

Title. Need to loose weight. Already going to be hard enough loosing weight in the first place but also keep getting a nagging thought that I'll impede my breast development. Currently on HRT.

I know loosing weight for my health is more important than my breasts. Still hits me hard though that they won't develop if I'm on caloric restriction. Am I being insane or uninformed?

I work for a large multinational that just removed all of its LGBTQ+ things. Nothing on the website anymore, nothing internally. Just poof, gone like it never existed. It feels like we are going back too medieval times..

I am not part of the LGBTQ+ community but I just wanted to say too anyone who feels let down by these big organizations: I still support you, my colleagues still support you. You are still welcome and accepted by many. We will continue fighting for you.

I don't know, just wanted to say that.

Hey girls! I'm a plus sized trans woman in my mid 20's. I've always enjoyed swimming, but I havent done it since i began my transition over a year ago. Id really like to start swimming again this year, and id especially love to do so in an outfit that makes me feel good about myself.

The biggest concern that has stopped me is that i really dont want to have a visible bulge. Ive had some success with gaffs, but also a bit of an... incident involving short shorts. Bathing suits are obviously a bit trickier. I would welcome any reccomendations about brands, styles or techniques that would help me feel confident and feminine at the pool!

Does anyone know how long (if it happens at all) are testicules irreversibly atrophied from HRT? Basically I'm scared that if I stop HRT they'll just go back to working the way they always have and I'm hoping that they won't.

I've been on HRT mono therapy for a year now and my testosterone has been nearly totally suppressed for the whole time, so I wonder if the girls are done for essentially...

“dad

do you remember what i said about using the name ‘cara’ with me?

i wasn’t joking

what do you mean son

well

i’ve been having dysphoria for a while

so i want to try to present as a girl 😅

if it’s okay with you, i think im trans

oh

ok 👍

i think it’ll take me some time to get used to it but if you want to be a girl and it’ll make you happier then i don’t have any problem with that

good luck with everything my daughter ❤️“

Hewwo gwuys :3

I am quite a bit spooked by the permanent effects of HRT, but I rlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly want a feminine body type! I would like to ask whether the fat redistribution of mtf will last even after I stop taking estrogen? Theoretically if I were to take estrogen for 1-2 years (as I understand thats how long the full effect may take?) while I put on a bit of a weight to get da curves, would any stick on after I stop the e? I intend to limit the breast growth with raloxifene

I unfortunately cannot really ask a doctor and the theoretical thought process would be a DIY… In Hungary the rumor is that trans folk might be put on a witch hunt since our far right government is loosing favor with the ppl…

I'm an enby and soon to start HRT.

I just had a strange conversation with a friend is saying that estrogen is messing up their dopamine levels.

They said on the pills, they felt ok, but the dose was too low. And then switching to weekly injections, they get a high for 4 days and then they have like a depressive crash on the last 3 days.

It's started a little bit of a spiral for me as god knows I've struggled with brain chemicals all my life. From drepression to anxiety and back and forth, but I've been doing much better the past year.

And so I'm kind of freaking out that estrogen will make me spin out.

Has anyone else had issues like this with the injections. I know its very subjective what people feel.

Last night I had a dream where I was socially interacting as male, had male anatomy, etc. - it usually disturbs me when I wake up and realize my unconscious is operating this way, it feels like I don't see myself as a woman, which is true on a conscious level but it's painful when I don't even see myself as a woman in my dreams.

Sometimes even before transition trans women see themselves as women in their dreams, and I marvel at that. I think part of my denial was integrating every internal part of me that felt female as being actually authentically male, that all men are actually feminine in this way or that. So the authentically feminine parts of me still feel "male".

Anyway, I just wanted to do a quick poll and see:

(if any transmasc folks or enbies are reading this, I would love your input too, even though I'm using gendered language, I don't mean to be excluding)

• did you have dreams where you were a woman before you transitioned?
• what was the process like of your internal concept changing as you transitioned?
• when did you start appearing as a woman in your dreams post-transition? (did the frequency increase post-transition, what was that change like?)
• how do you relate to your self-conception, does it disturb you to be a man in your dreams, is it a relief to be a woman in your dreams?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21928256

Hello girlies and other folk,

my boyfriend is programming a desktop app that displays your current voice input's frequency in Hz over time with a real time graph, similar to the app "voice tools" many of us use for voice training.

I'm trying to garner interest for such a desktop app and would appreciate input about it so I can show him that it's not something only I would want.

I would also be interested in the OS you would be using, since currently it's only on Linux (as we use arch btw).

The image shows what it's currently looking like and the settings window. The entire point is for it to be always on top of everything else so you can always see how you're doing.

And for the other nerds: it's written in Python (making it quite large, about 2GB, he's trying to port it to Rust (based) and make it smaller)

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post last week! This past week has been a whirlwind. I’m pretty sure my egg is cracked wide open.

I devoured the Gender Dysphoria Bible, and I found myself (maybe not surprisingly) relating to not all, but a lot, of the feelings and experiences described.

As I read more about how trans women describe their experiences, the more I realize that I’ve had similar feelings for a long time. Who knew that not every man secretly wishes he was a lesbian woman? I kind of thought that everyone had these feelings, and just settled for the disappointing reality of being male.

And I’m better able to put words to the positive feelings I get from growing my hair out, painting my nails, shaving my chest and legs - it’s gender euphoria!

I feel so excited, like I finally know who I am! And I’m so eager to learn makeup, get girl clothes, etc. And I really want to go on hormones. I guess any remaining potential doubt would be erased then - if I go on hormones and start to have a really bad time, then I guess I know I’m not trans.

I did talk to my therapist, and she was so encouraging! She was completely affirming, and at the end of our session she said that she could see me as a woman, and that felt so good to hear! I get butterflies in my stomach and keep smiling when I think about it.

She did encourage me to take my time though. I’m really excited, but I am also extremely nervous and scared about how people might react, especially my wife. She’s bisexual, and she’s been really supportive of my gender exploration so far, so those are both good things. But she’s also autistic and sometimes has a hard time adapting to rapid changes.

So I feel like I need to make sure I know what I want, and that I’m able to answer any questions she might have about what my transition process is going to look like - and there are still a lot of questions I don’t have the answer to.

And I worry a lot of how my family, friends, and work might react to my coming out. I’ve spent a lot of time getting educated, getting a good job, and building a nice little life, and I don’t want to mess it all up. And unfortunately, my immediate family are all devout Catholics, so I don’t anticipate a great reaction from them…

I get my hair cut at an LGBTQ salon, and I think at least one of the stylists there is a trans woman. Would it be appropriate/inappropriate for me to ask her if I could talk to her about her experience?

I don’t know any other trans women in real life, and I think it would really help me to have someone to talk to. But I also don’t want to just dump all my burdens on someone either.

Any other advice on what I should do, or things to consider, would be really welcome - I’m just trying to figure out how I want to navigate this.

HRT day 17.

I always wanted to be more social. I cared about people, wanted to know them more deeply, and wanted them to know me. I just never enjoyed the experience because I felt that the time people spent on me was an arduous act of charity that they endured for my sake, out of politeness and perhaps pity. I therefore kept to myself, unintentionally presented a pretty hard exterior that made me seem abrasive and antisocial, and spent nights wishing I could be closer to people around me. I was ashamed of who I was, and ultimately faded out of the lives of everyone I met sooner or later, once I felt I'd revealed too much of myself to put them through any more. It was lonely, and worst of all, many of these people continued trying to reach out while I sequestered myself and waited for the guilt to subside.

Short of growing breasts and marked shifts in fat distribution that I likely won't see for many months, I can never be sure what's an estrogen thing, what's a placebo thing, and what's just a good mood, but the last few days have been an unprecedented shift in my overall outlook. I talk honestly with people. I opened up to my mother about deeply personal things that I've kept guarded for decades. I message people just to ask if they're doing okay and if they want to catch up over coffee some time, and without even cringing at myself for doing so.

Today I've been thinking a lot about how remarkable it is to simply feel like I'm allowed to exist in the world, and allowed to be part of other people's lives. This isn't me. Except it is, and I hope it stays this way forever.

I’ve been questioning and curious, and I wanted to talk to some people about my experience, who know more about being trans than I do.

I am almost 30, I’m bisexual, and I was assigned male at birth. I was raised in a very Catholic household (and went to Catholic school from elementary through high school), so it wasn’t exactly an environment that was going to give me the language to understand who I was, or encouraged to explore my sexuality and gender identity.

I was always more emotional than my peers - my parents put me in wrestling and karate during elementary and middle school to “toughen me up”. Although that may have had to do with my RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) from my ADHD.

I never really enjoyed sports like wrestling or football - I ended up liking volleyball and distance running. I preferred hobbies that are more traditionally feminine, like baking and sewing. Don’t get me wrong, I also liked camping and stuff with Boy Scouts (not that camping and hiking are inherently masculine) but I definitely never felt like a super masculine as a kid.

I would get in trouble for growing my hair out as long as I was allowed to, and then some, and I got in trouble for wearing more jewelry than a Catholic school was appropriate for boys too (too many rings and necklaces). I was made fun of in middle and high school for wearing pink, or liking things that were too girly.

About 5 years ago, I started to identify as nonbinary, as I learned more about queerness and started to find the language to describe what I was feeling. When my wife came out to me as bi, I finally felt comfortable coming out as nonbinary to her. And since then, I’ve started to feel more confident expressing my gender differently, mostly in small ways, like growing my hair longer and painting my nails. I’ve still only come out as NB to a small handful of people, and day-to-day I probably present more as “eccentric guy” than anything else.

The thing that I’ve noticed, though, is that the less masculine I look, act, and present, the more I feel like myself. I feel like men’s clothing is so limiting, and I always feel out of place when I’m in a group of otherwise all guys.

I feel like If I had been born as a woman, I would prefer that to having been born male. And if I could flip a switch and instantly be a woman, I would. But I don’t experience the sort of revulsion at my genitals that I hear some trans people describe (although I do hate being so hairy).

All of that said, I don’t know what exactly it feels like to be trans, or be a woman, so I don’t know how to compare my experience to how I “should” or “shouldn’t” feel.

And obviously right now is a scary time in the US to be queer of any kind, so there’s a part of me that’s very scared about what if I am trans - what that would entail in terms of how people/my friends and family would react and treat me.

Anyway, I’m not trying to presume anything about the trans experience, and I apologize if anything I said seemed ignorant. I guess I’m just confused and looking for some insight and support, since there aren’t many people in real life that I can talk to about these things (wife and therapist aside).

I am one in 200. Someone like me is at every concert, every school, in every workplace. Every town, every street, every neighborhood. Every store, every mall, every park. Every government, every nation, every continent. Me and my people have been here since time unrecorded and we will be here to the end of humanity. We will not be eradicated.

Hey girls and friends, I am 8 days on hrt and I feel like my skin is already softer ??? Is it even possible or am I just imagining it?

Nothing else seems to have changed.

If you're out of the loop or intentionally avoiding social media and the news cycle, then I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. Two executive orders were written yesterday by Donald Trump that specifically target transgender rights and freedoms. One targeting the rights of transgender members of the military, another targeting the healthcare rights of transgender youth. These orders state in no uncertain terms that trans people are unsafe evil liars deserving of contempt and exclusion. This is not an exaggeration, and the shift in the narrative behind these executive orders is extremely alarming and likely to be seen again as the basis for further attacks against us.

There is a narrative created by these two orders. A narrative that trans people are dishonorable, that trans people lack selflessness and humility, and that we are liars. That we are wrong that our existence is wrong. That it doesn't matter whether transition decreases our suicide rate, whether it allows us to live happy, fulfilling lives. That death itself is preferable to the existence of an adult trans person. That being transgender is by itself wrong and makes us worth less than cisgender people. A narrative that children must be protected from becoming transgender people, even if it means they die. That no one can be allowed to think that being transgender is alright, that it's okay to be a transgender person.

This cannot go unchallenged. It's not enough for trans people to resist alone. This has to come from as man voices as possible. The writing is on the wall. This amounts to dehumanizing persecution intended to foster perceptions of us as inhuman. It is going to get worse. This is week 2. What awaits us in a year no one can say for sure. We need protests we need civil disobedience. We need to help our most vulnerable get out. We need to protect trans youth.

Please refer to the transgender resistance network for mutual aid and help. I had tried last year to organize something here but was not capable of it due to problems in my own personal life.

We need solidarity. We need to help each other. And we have to resist. Not just these orders, not just this narrative, but we have to resist the fall into hopelessness and acceptance. We have to fight. Our lives have value. Our lives are worth the same as anyone else. Don't let them get to you, don't believe in the narrative. Transition saved my life, maybe it saved yours too. Transitioning and seeing others transition has been the most beautiful and rewarding experience of my life. I refuse to accept a reality in which we are forced into closets, forced into hiding. I beg of everyone to join me in refusing that outcome.

Someone told me that we're only getting our "extra rights" taken away

I couldn't think of any "extra" rights that we had before, but then I realized it is a bit unfair that we're all so beautiful, smart and talented.

permalink by melody_elf

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/18135870

A great video about both getting hormones and blockers and how to safely use them if you want or have to do it DIY.