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Duck you. This is not new, nor is it the only one, one of few, nor is this not known. They just aren't listening anymore and likely never have been
Deflating a claim has never stopped a right-winger to keep using the argument.
They rely on "random made up story that supports their beliefs" over anything factual anyways. Maybe throw Jesus into it for extra points
And are usually shocked when policies based on those stories don't produce the results promised, blame the guy who did the implementation wrong to vote in another guy to try the same ideas again.
Nothing stops right wingers, including the words “no” and “stop”. With right wingers, the only boundaries are theirs. Be careful, their boundaries are super delicate though!
To the surprise of no one with an IQ higher than their shoe size.
Sometimes life does unintuitive things. I still think it's great this study was carried out.
I wish we had more data about the experience of those after bottom surgery. I can't imagine there isn't issues with incontnence, loss of sexual pleasure, infections and longer term complications. I really fear that people opting for such surgery are way too optimistic about the state of our actual medical capabilities.
I can’t imagine there isn’t issues with incontnence, loss of sexual pleasure, infections and longer term complications. I really fear that people opting for such surgery are way too optimistic about the state of our actual medical capabilities.
Ask yourself carefully, what actually led you to this conclusion? There's a lot of fear mongering and misinformation about trans surgeries. There's part of folks that just simply want to believe it must be too good to be true, that there has to be some sort of horrible Faustian cost for crossing what seems like such an extreme line.
Like, I've actually met cis people who believe that getting SRS means you can never orgasm again. As if a complete lack of sexual pleasure is the terrible cost every trans person must pay if they want the right parts.
It's bollocks. Are there complications? Sure. Any surgery has them. But if you really interrogate your feelings on this, you'll find that your feelings are not actually based on a real informed assessment of the actual surgical risks. More likely, your feelings have been shaped by a combination of deliberate propaganda and some deep sense that there simply "must" be some terrible price people have to pay for such a transformative surgery. Part of your brain thinks there simply has to be a terrible downside for crossing such a massive social line.
I hear you, but I really don't think that's it. And yes, I really don't know the complications, I'm only surmising based on what I know about surgery, and about the way humans can get permanently damaged and can heal. I've had other surgeries and it's very not fun, and there are always scars, limitations on recovery, and prolonged issues, and then recurrences of more issues as I get older. Srs seems like there's a lot of complicated rearrangements and lots to go wrong. I really wish there was an easy foolproof way for people to change their genitalia if they wanted, but I simple don't have the faith in our medical capabilities. I really don't think I have have any social line about changing gender. People should be free to do whatever they want if it doesn't hurt anyone else. I was brought up with the notion that there shouldn't be considered any differences between sexes. Wear a dress, play with trucks - it doesn't matter what's between your legs. Being gay was normalized, and any fashion sense was independent of sex. Of course I realize society hasn't moved that far, and I see how just buying into conservative sexual prejudice but changing your gender is basically the same thing, and maybe easier. But to me it's the wrong fight / wrong direction. And so unnecessary surgery (from that perspective) seems really silly. But I truely get that I don't understand what it's like to be trapped in the wrong body sex.
It's only unnecessary if you view trans people as only transitioning gender, not sex.
I very much identify with the latter language. I didn't just change my gender. I fundamentally altered my sex. If it were all about gender, then yes, changing your presentation would be all that's needed. And for some trans folks, it is just about altering gender. The term "transsexual" fell out of favor for a variety of reasons, but we did lose something when we moved away from it. Many trans people want to and actually do change their sex.
When I fill out a form and put down my sex, I list female. My body is entirely estrogen-dominated. My body metabolizes medication like a cis woman. I have female external anatomy. If I had been born with an identical (age appropriate) version of the body I have now? I would have been assigned female at birth. This is why I say I changed my sex, not just my gender. When defining sex, bigots choose to obsess over chromosomes because that's one thing medical science can't change. If tomorrow we figured out how to change chromosomes, bigots would suddenly decide something else defines someone's "true sex." If I got a uterine transplant and gave birth to a kid, bigots would say, "doesn't matter, only reproductive capacity at birth matters. Because reasons."
Some (perhaps most) trans people have a deep need to fundamentally change their sex. It's not just about gender. It's about having a body with the correct sex. For me, the old "born in the wrong body" narrative is quite descriptive.
Maybe you need to change your framework. Don't focus too much on the social stuff. Instead imagine how you would feel if you woke up in an opposite-sex body tomorrow. God switches your sex overnight and just leaves you to deal with it. How would you react to that? If you think you would just be OK with it and say, "well, doesn't matter what's between your legs, guess I'm a man/woman now!"....well that contradicts the lived experience of most every trans person out there. Odds are if that happened to you, you would be so distraught by the fact that you would quickly begin a medical transition process of your own. You might not survive long enough to even begin it.
I can't know exactly how your kid views things. But if they're interested in genital surgery, odds are they lean into more of the "changing sex" than "just changing gender" camp.
Trans people do not seek medical care simply because it helps us fit into a social role better. For many of us, our bodies are simply the wrong sex, and we are fixing that. Much of the confusion around this disappears when you realize trans people are just trying to fix their sex. This need would still exist even if we lived in a completely androgynous society totally free of gender.
You'd be amazed at how far science has come with bottom surgery. But I agree with the other commenter: it's not really your business to care.
If you did, you'd have more knowledge on modern procedures, and would be able to easily imagine what the consequences to such decisions are rather than assuming how bad they might be.
Here's a site that should answer most of your questions clearly:
Thanks for the link. Yes I have a daughter considering this. When I look it up I only find generic descriptions and 'it will take 2-3 weeks to heal', which really sounds unrealistic to me. I worry that surgeons doing this kind of work over sell it, and the desire of patients for it to be as good as they hope might cloud their judgement of the realities.
2-3 weeks to heal is wishful thinking. That's the first healing stage, after which my surgeon allowed me to do things more than light lifting. 4-6 weeks to return to work. 3 months to have sex. But healing generally continues until about a year post op. Incidentally it took me about a year to be able to orgasm (it's been several years now and I'd say it's probably easier now than pre op)
My surgeon was a reputable surgeon at a reputable institution and showed me pictures of her work during consultation and gave me realistic expectations. There were complications (there often are) but they were ultimately temporary issues. And the trans community gave me a realistic but positive expectation compared to my personal experience.
If you have any questions I may be able to answer some. If anything push your daughter to look up and ask around about surgeons (word gets around about bad ones) and push her towards reputable ones who are willing to make her feel comfortable in their care and who explain what's going on and what's going to happen to her.
Thanks so much for the info. That description is actually is very reassuring to me as it feels much more realistic to me. And reasonable. It's a reputable institution (in Montreal). Part of the issue here is that my daughter with severe ADHD, possibly autistic, and huge anxiety issues can't really organize doing this herself. So if it's going to happen I'll have to be actively involved even though she's an adult. So I feel rather responsible and need to be educated, but the doctors won't talk to me directly since I'm not the patient.
Are you sure it's weeks you read and not months? 2-3 months is a pretty standard timeframe to recover from a vaginoplasty
Thanks. I suspect the 2-3 weeks that my daughter has quoted is the timeframe that she will be unable to do much of anything. I'm not sure if she realizes that though. 2-3 months seems much more likely.
This is something that a doctor would go over with any patient before any surgery as a part of informed consent.
A patient will be informed of outcomes, possible complications and the likelihood of those complications.
that would be our problem not yours. i would recommend you keep your nose out of it if you dont have plans to get bottom surgery yourself. someone might construe your "concern" as transphobic pearl clutching. those statistics do exist and trans people are well informed long before their surgery actually happens. i think most cis people would be truly amazed at the sophistication of bottom surgery these days.
Well it does concern me somewhat as my daughter wants to do this. And as a loving parent as well as since she's a dependent due to disabilities, I feel that I should be knowledgeable and somewhat involved. I'm by no means forbidding it, and I really want what's best for my daughter. If this will really make her happy, I'm all for it. But I've had knee surgery and I am amazed at what they can reconstruct, but years later I still have scars, discomfort and mobility problems.
SRS has a substantially lower surgical regret rate than knee replacement surgeries.
That's interesting, and I totally believe it. Knee replacement recovery is much longer than the 2-3 weeks they claim for mtf srs. And some people end up with further problems that require more surgery to fix. And artificial knee joints only last a decade max and need to be replaced. But it's also very different because no one cares about their knee except that it works without pain. I wonder the amount of complications that a srs patient would ensure and still be happy because of the psychological improvements. And of course those psychological improvements are very real and matter. I do have a hard time understanding that and maybe that's just because I'm older and my genitalia really doesn't matter to me as much as it once did. Like there's plenty else about myself that I'd like to change, like my weight, painful joins, weak muscles, saggy skin, age spots, etc, before I'd worry about the shape of my genitalia. But I understand that everyone has different perspectives and I'm ok with that.
if she is an adult its literally not your decision at all. you shouldnt be getting any say. you can be as involved as she wants you to be, but your role in supporting her is to advocate for what she wants not to make decisions for her, no matter what the risks are. i mean jesus youre comparing srs to your knee surgery. yeah its surgery, but believe it or not people have way more emotional investment in their junk than their knee. what if you had a horrible injury that made it so your genitals werent even shaped right anymore and didnt work at all, but there was a surgery that would make it right? can you honestly argue in good faith that you would let anyone stop you from going through with it because it might leave some uncomfortable scars, or even that it might not work? yet you would imply that you might want to do just that to your daughter. its an arrogant and patronizing position to take over someone you ostensibly care about, whatever their situation.
Knees are pretty important, really. But yes, I get your point. I'm not going to stop her from making her own choice, but I am going to point out if I think she's misinformed (or more mis-believing) the risks, and actual outcomes. I also really worry that she will pin her hopes that having bottom surgery will cure her self esteem issues and if it doesn't, she'll be mentally worse off. I'd love it if I could really trust the medical system for dealing with all this well, but I don't.
Ok yeah the advice I always heard about bottom surgery (and found to be true) is that all it'll change is your genitals. It won't make you pass better unless you're in something super tight or naked. It won't make you feel better about yourself except genital dysphoria.
Has she had open conversations with post op trans women about it? That may be a good step for her.
She's talked to many people on line, but who knows what's real. There seem to be a lot of people who wish they had bottom surgery, but not nearly as many who actually have. She sees a psychologist regularly so I hope they will thrash this out, and it's still years out due to the process here in Canada. But I worry that makes it even more unstoppable - when she finally gets to the top of the list, she won't want to risk losing her spot; the momentum will blast past any concerns.
As a mother we care about all of their health physical and mental. It’s not unreasonable you ask the right questions when caring for them. Sometimes they can be vulnerable, same with elders. Having someone’s watch over events is fair.
@floofloof I heard once somewhere that the rate of regrets about Harry Potter tattoos is higher than the rates of people who regret transitioning but I don't have a source for that.
Imagine getting a fun little wizard tattoo in the year 2000, then watching in horror as JK Rowling reveals her true poisonous colours over the next 25 years. It's not surprising many people would have regrets over that.
@floofloof could be worse! What if you named one of your kids after a character!
Oh it can get worse, it was common for a while for trans women to name themselves after a character. Yeah a lot of Liliths used to be Lillies.
And yeah I have an ex with a Harry Potter tattoo and a trans kid
@captainlezbian :-(
If it's for the former, yeahhhh
For the latter, well she's a supportive mom who was happy to openly date a trans woman. She just hadn't gotten around to covering up the tattoo
Nothing deflates a right-wing ego. Wait a minute... is there something that does?
Yes, actually. The right wing ego can sometimes deflate after an issue personally affects them. That is, of course, only if they realise that it was the leopards who ate their face and they can't find a scapegoat.
Funny enough, trans rights themselves deflate their ego.
“Why would someone who was born male want to be a woman! Male is superior!”
It challenges their masculinity and their very belief.
Obviously, the main stream media is misconstruing what the right-wing study actually said. It says "Republicans regret getting horny on main over teenagers who received gender-affirming care." How can a Republican reasonably be expected to worry about a child's genitals while they're busy trying to gain access to children's genitals???
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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