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this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Knees are pretty important, really. But yes, I get your point. I'm not going to stop her from making her own choice, but I am going to point out if I think she's misinformed (or more mis-believing) the risks, and actual outcomes. I also really worry that she will pin her hopes that having bottom surgery will cure her self esteem issues and if it doesn't, she'll be mentally worse off. I'd love it if I could really trust the medical system for dealing with all this well, but I don't.
Ok yeah the advice I always heard about bottom surgery (and found to be true) is that all it'll change is your genitals. It won't make you pass better unless you're in something super tight or naked. It won't make you feel better about yourself except genital dysphoria.
Has she had open conversations with post op trans women about it? That may be a good step for her.
She's talked to many people on line, but who knows what's real. There seem to be a lot of people who wish they had bottom surgery, but not nearly as many who actually have. She sees a psychologist regularly so I hope they will thrash this out, and it's still years out due to the process here in Canada. But I worry that makes it even more unstoppable - when she finally gets to the top of the list, she won't want to risk losing her spot; the momentum will blast past any concerns.
As a mother we care about all of their health physical and mental. It’s not unreasonable you ask the right questions when caring for them. Sometimes they can be vulnerable, same with elders. Having someone’s watch over events is fair.