It's been a hard 5 months, but I think the end is finally in sight. I've given up on seeking help from the medical system, I've been in the ER begging for help multiple times and all I ever got was a medical certificate.

Instead I'm working through my stuff one day at a time and relying on friends for help when I need it, it's hard but it's working. I'm having more and more good days, even if I'm still struggling.

Here are some wins:

• I'm 5 days sober
• I'm somehow maintaining a sleep routine
• I'm in love with songwriting more than ever
• I'm on top of my to-do list
• I'm cooking and eating well(ish)
• I've started putting weight back on (I think)

It finally cooled off enough for the first time since June that i could get a single good nights sleep the other day. I slept in that morning with a window cracked open it was so comfy 🫠 naturally, some time next week has a forecast in the 90's again 😑

I've got about a month before i am legit unemployed (context) and getting worried about that. I have done absolutely nothing with the time off I've had from this, aside from starting to exercise regularly, actually happy about that. I had a list of things i wanted to accomplish and that's the only thing i actually did. I didn't use my medical insurance to get some form of treatment for ADHD, or go to the doctor for the first time in a decade for a basic checkup, and i doubt i could even get an appointment before my insurance runs out at this point.

Did some more hoop-jumping in order to get approved for SRS. It was the urology department today, where they prodded and probed me a bit, then handed me one of the weirder documents I've ever collected. Essentially:

☑ Boobs
☑ Dick
Everything is as expected.
Signed,
A Doctor.

🤷🏼‍♀️

I am on my way home from a very spicy weekend with a very spicy friend and I am still enjoying the afterglow :3 this world can indeed be wonderful and it can get better :3

Meh. Unexpectedly sick yesterday, which sucked. If I’m gonna be sick, can it at least be during the workweek so I can get out of work, instead of losing a weekend day?

Transition-wise, I’m antsy that the doc hasn’t called me back about making an appointment to start cryopreservation. I really want to start my E, but I can’t until I’m done with that, and it feels like every step takes forever. I already had to switch clinics once because of their poor communication. The little voice in my head says that the new place is slow-rolling me in hopes that I get frustrated and leave, because they don’t want to deal with a trans patient in the current political climate. But their website says that they are happy to work with trans patients, so I might just be catastrophizing.

Came out to my SO after watching Priscilla queen of the desert. She had no reaction beyond "please keep your penis, I like it." Other than that, she likes the idea of me with hips and boobs and is very supportive. Am going to talk to my doctor about it today.

Edit: been to the doctor and am getting a referral to a psychologist for diagnosis.

Same as any other week. To be honest

My week has been good. I've been getting end-of-the-month shopping done.