154
submitted 1 day ago by TotallynotJessica to c/femcelmemes

although honestly, the guys need unsettling compliments once in a while. they need to shake their entitled sense of security and to learn that they are loveable

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[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

I was basically a splindly but evidently cute twink when I was in college, and I got cat called fairly frequently whenever I was out in the LGBTQ/Lots of Bars and Clubs district.

Sometimes it was drunk girls, more often it was drunk gay/bi guys.

One time that I distinctly remember, a guy and a gal were out on the sidewalk tables, the guy (seemingly dared to ask by the girl) waved at me and asked me if I was 'trisexual'.

I thought about it for a bit, and responded '... yeah, sure?'.

( I had made out with a guy once in a game of spin the bottle, not half bad!)

Guy got up and kissed me on the cheek.

... The next day I told a friend that had happened, and they said something to the effect of 'well that makes sense, you are a bit of a twink'.

... And that was how I learned what a twink is.

This was back in the late 00s and early 10s, and while I'd always been accepting and nondiscrimantory of anyone based on the way they dress or their sexual preferences... I hadn't really been exposed at all to any LGBTQ history/culture/terminology at that point... tended to spend too much time studying.

[-] TotallynotJessica 3 points 4 hours ago

a cute nerdy twink; truly blessed ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 hours ago

Unfortunately I have since transitioned to 'twunk' lol.

Oi vei, I've had a rough go of life the last couple of years, currently doing aquatherapy to recover from over a year of homelessness, constantly on the move, routinely getting assaulted... leading to many muscle and tendon tears and bone fractures... which has forced me to now be largely sedentary...

But I am working toward getting that twink body back.

Managed to go from wheelchair to cane in the last 12 months, hopefully in another 6 or 12 I won't need the cane and will be able to do basic daily excersize.

[-] Staden_@pawb.social 36 points 22 hours ago

I didn't know what catcalling was and I assumed it was calling someone the way you would do to a cat, like going "pspspspsps"

[-] kittenzrulz123 18 points 20 hours ago

I would immediately meow :3

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 26 points 22 hours ago

That'd still probably work for me

[-] Staden_@pawb.social 11 points 21 hours ago
[-] dandelion 13 points 22 hours ago

this is now canon

[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 22 hours ago

i thought it was what cats did, meowing

[-] univers3man@lemmy.world 19 points 21 hours ago

Honestly, this would make my day. I still remember the first time a girl said she liked my hair, ahd that was like 15 years ago.

[-] Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world 41 points 1 day ago

As a cis dude that's mostly straight, I want to cat call all the boys I see running in those short shorts with no shirt on. Jog your athletic abs over here baby. They're good looking, and I hope I can make their day. Haven't done it yet, though.

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 9 hours ago

As another mostly straight cis dude:

I have always just genuienly complimented anyone that I think is really pulling off a look well, regardless of their sex or gender.

Gal in a truly stunning dress?

Guy with an uncommonly well groomed and styled mustache or beard?

Give a quick, specific, genuine, polite compliment, as you are walking by, so it doesn't seem like you are cornering them or anything.

Worst case scenario, they don't appreciate it, and you just keep walking.

Far more often? They reply with some kind of quick 'thank you', smile, keep walking, and now there is a little bit more happiness in the world.

[-] gon@lemm.ee 31 points 1 day ago

straight

twinkle breeze

Alright, then.

[-] Soulg@ani.social 29 points 1 day ago
[-] gon@lemm.ee 42 points 23 hours ago
[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 22 hours ago

alright who's gonna tell him

[-] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 11 points 20 hours ago
[-] TotallynotJessica 7 points 17 hours ago

"mostly" carrying the weight of the world there

[-] GluWu@lemm.ee 23 points 1 day ago

Me whos last compliment was the cashier at circle k saying nice shirt 3 years ago

[-] TotallynotJessica 7 points 18 hours ago

guys do need more compliments, but catcalls feel more like harassment than appreciation.

[-] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

If you're dying of thirst, you wouldn't appreciate a life preserver and if you were drowning, you wouldn't appreciate a glass of water. Lots of men are so compliment-starved that they'd appreciate being catcalled even with all the negative implications, and I imagine that plenty of men who catcall have never considered that them appreciating the same in reverse wouldn't mean there's no good reason for women not to want to be catcalled.

[-] whodatdair 19 points 23 hours ago

A random girl told me I had beautiful eyes in line for an amusement park ride about 5-7 years ago and I still think about it 🤣

[-] Fredthefishlord 10 points 21 hours ago

Grow long hair. People love complimenting it and then you get plenty

[-] Glytch@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

If you can, grow a handlebar mustache. I get complimented on mine everyday I'm out in public. Once established it only takes about 10 minutes of maintenance a week to keep it trimmed and waxed.

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 11 points 22 hours ago

I wouldn't know how to deal with that 😫

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Heel turn pivot, strike a confident dreamy anime dude pose, smirk, 'Hey, thanks!' heel turn pivot back, continue with what you were doing.

I am not even joking. When I was younger, and anime was less generally popular, that would be probably viewed as extremely cringe...

But nowadays, anime is much, much more generally popular, and I think this would work.

Just gotta actually be confident.

[-] TotallynotJessica 6 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

you sound like a cutie in need of affirmation <3

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago
[-] Smorty 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

hehehe i wan to call bois lik dis too <3 <3 <3 bt i wana go evn furthr!! :o

i rlli lik the idea of babytalking guys to like - to no end!! <3 <3 <3

i imagine many wud like thad !!! (i kindsa wud so why not thos guys too ~?)

when guy does somthn gud i go

  • aawww u did so guuud! *looks at u lovlili* yesyes u did this so supr nice n perfectli n like uhm.- im veri proud of u please kno that oki? ~ <3

when guy is done aftr work

  • u don for the day ~ ? - - - oh nononono i didn mean it in a bad way, im jus happi that u found an endin - becuz working all day is-- well i believe it cnt be gud ovr time-- so much work n physical... yea no, jus be here with me n imma... imma get the hearts blankie - hold on!

when guy eeps

  • *watches furiously how breath leaves nostrils* :o
[-] TotallynotJessica 8 points 17 hours ago

careful there smorty, ur saying some dangerous things 🤭

[-] Smorty 4 points 10 hours ago

waitwait... dangerous? ;(

i dun wana harm anyone... whos endangered?

[-] TotallynotJessica 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

cute girls gotta be careful about being too inviting to dudes. you sadly gotta watch out for ppl in your dms if you comment like that too often

[-] Smorty 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

i rlli wana believe thad making dudes in general the "kind of person to watch out for and have a higher defense against" feels evil and bad.

i say dis cuz i am unfortunateli still masc presentin n i always specificalli look away from women to destroy thad vrri idea. i try and keep my distance, to not make it seem lik im followin anyone. i try n show that men arent the first-person-shooter-playing, porn-consuming, aggressive, loud, angry and capitalist rapists some people think they r...

i imagine most peeps r reasonbl. n i feel havin to put up a barrier cuz som peeps r supr dupr evil,,,,, feels sad n unfair...

(also i guess id alsuu say these things to not-guys so lik-i guess i cud hav made it mor unspecific)

[-] TotallynotJessica 4 points 4 hours ago

I've never fully understood the mindset that compels some guys to be so awful, but some guys really are shitheads. It does seem largely social, but it's also extra enticing to cis guys over other folk. Being told you're special and deserve to be in charge for being yourself is a seductive message, just like the argument for white supremacy or ultra nationalism.

It doesn't mean all men will get roped in or that any need to stay in, but it is still a real threat that it isn't your responsibility to solve. Keep yourself safe before sacrificing for others.

[-] hazl 3 points 3 hours ago

The affirming experience of being harassed as a woman!

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 4 points 19 hours ago

I know I would like that

[-] ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org 12 points 1 day ago

pls don't fluster me.

this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
154 points (100.0% liked)

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