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How's your week been?
(self.trans)
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this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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Follow up on that post about my depression healing plan. Tldr fell back into hole after hrt euphoria, made a plan with all my issues causing anxiety. 3 page long list.
Applied SMART. Looked at it and genuinely asked myself if I wanted to give up or give it another spin. Would be stupid not to given that hrt has had such a massive mental impact and I want to see where this is going.
I've been chipping away at it and feeling progress. I've also been reaching out for help here and there. It has created a few minutes of space here and there but in all honesty I am anxious 24 7. Which is good in a way because before hrt I didn't feel anything at all and it's motivating.
What was rather funny was that I forced myself to go to the cinema and watch Dune and I had a deeply peaceful feeling during that movie, but I also felt a strong anxiety at the same time. I didn't know that was possible!
Tomorrow I'll visit a district help team to see if they can help me writing a letter to get my tax fine forgiven. I might ask my gp to write something to proof that I've been utterly sick before hrt, which got in the way of my responsibilities.
It's gonna take months but I know it'll get rid of my anxiety, giving me space to focus on healing emotionally.