Translation: we hired incompetent insecure assholes into management positions and can't get rid of them for some reason, can you tolerate their bullshit and manage their egos
or the classic "we wanted to downsize the employee budget to pad the CEOs salary, so we fired half our staff and the remaining plebs do twice the work because fuck you thats why"
From a surveyors experience, replace ‘we’ with ‘they’ and continue as before.
not remotely
"Oh good because we don't allow work-from-home. Can't miss out on that in-person SYNERGY."
Give it your 110% and we'll demand 120%!
And don't think that 120% will grant you a raise either! Inflation will eat 5% of your paycheck each year!
You're lucky if it's only 5% in this economy!
"Do you want to be an infinitely productive profit maker for the company at your own expense?"
Are you DESPERATE ENOUGH to WORK HERE!?
It's funny when you see job postings for where you work. I saw one for where I'm at (a ghost job, since there's a hiring freeze) that said like "join a highly functional team". Lady, this team can barely push code that doesn't have syntax errors.
Side note: posting jobs with no intention to hire (aka a ghost job) should be illegal.
Recently saw the place I left a year ago put up a posting. It was word-for-word the same as the job I applied for 4 years previously but it had an extra sentence: MUST HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR.
This is code for: MUST BE OKAY WITH THE OWNER'S RAMPANT HOMO AND TRANS PHOBIA.
I had a recruiter call me up and ask me how I hadn’t found a job with all these postings. Like, lady, they’re not real!
“We’re a family company”
=> some of the worst backstabbing I’ve ever seen. Glad to have left that behind.
We're just like a family.
Any time there's an emergency, day or night, you're supposed immediately to drop everything to take care of us and demand nothing in return.
Same here! "We're a family". It was an abusive relationship where the CEO was the narcissistic abuser. God he treated everyone like crap in that place.
"I can make a hundred trillion calculation per second and they're all wrong"
Well if that's the bar I can do 150 trillion wrong calculations!
Beaten by math! My only weakness!!
When they also say "We're one big family here!". They don't say it's a dysfunctional one. 🌚
This has always been my problem with conflating "family" with "office". It's tragically subjective, and usually for the worse.
Some people have garbage family dynamics, with no counseling in sight. So these same people trot this steaming pile of bad values, reactionary behavior, trauma dumping, triggers, and more right into the workplace like it's totally normal.
In a smaller way, I also see managers emulate mom or dad to run their little piece of the company. All the while, not understanding that they themselves were horribly abused by their parents and think that behavior is completely a-okay to project onto their team.
'Colin Robinson; Energy Vampire' uses that tactic
Colin is my favorite take on vampires. Hits home much harder than sucking blood lol
We all know that one person who likes to explain things. It's sort of a way to get attention, and an easy way of doing that is mansplaining. I'm not sure if you've heard of mansplaining, but mansplaining is a term used for a situation where a man explains what something means, to a woman. Now, you may be asking yourself, "what is a woman?". I'd answer, that is a very good question. By that I mean are you asking what defines femininity, or what are they literally composed of? For that may I refer you to reddit. What is Reddit, you might ask? That's a very good question. I'd say it's a place for people, but these days none of it is actually people. By that I mean that it's become weaponized in a way, using very basic propaganda. What is propaganda, you might ask? Well, that's probably something I might ask myself later today. Probably has something to do with updog.
What's updog?
Nothin' much. What's up with you?
Do you want to pay me like i'm in a fast paced break everything environment where i'm going have to put up with a lot of shit?
Oh GOD no
Just sayin, i don't love break-neck pace, but I do love living comfortably during inflation....
I saw "payment on time" stated as what the position offers. Or "free parking". I once read an offer that tried to suggest "working shifts" is a positive.
I just saw that my job advertises that they don’t charge you for the uniform…
Our luxurious bathrooms include TOILET PAPER and RUNNING WATER.
My wife is a tenured professor and her university still makes her pay for parking on their own lots.
Job postings should not make the job sound overly appealing. They should give you an idea of if it would be a good fit for you as a potential applicant.
Let's work towards not working at all! Crazy as it sounds.
I have a plan, it's stupid good!
I lowkey do want to work like that, but it has to be on my own terms. Because Fast paced and high pressure works much much better with my brain than infinite meetings + horribly convoluted bureaucratic hoops to jump through to work productivly + nothing gets done + there's still high pressure because people are frustrated about it.
Yeah I worked at a T1 help desk that had a pretty consistent high call volume but still gave us enough access to actually fix shit and I low key loved that job. I was good at it, There was a decent amount of variety, no on call, no real responsibility because anything we couldn't fix got escalated up the chain. It was great. Just clock out at the end of the day and don't think about it until I worked next.
Conversely my current job which pays far better is the second type you described and it's fucking miserable.
typical corporate speak for "you will be overworked and paid nothing"
Come work in our suicide factory!
nO 1 wAnTs 2 wOrK nE mOaR!!!1!11!1
Stopped reading at "Do you want to work"
(well, at least not for money)
Haha sure, job. You and what cocaine?
I want to work in a bakery in a little cottage in the woods where we only make one product at a time instead of batches 💔🥀
I feel like there would be a anime about this scenario
Yeah it's Bunny Girl Senpai Owns the Whole Bakery
But they want to hire the idiots who do.
...if the job was Pinball tester....maybe...
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