My primary school teacher gave me wisdom that I wish more people considered: "If both people are laughing, it's a joke. If one person's laughing, it's teasing"

You can't joke about a repressed class unless you are part of that repressed class and thus poking fun at yourself. That goes for race, gender, or any other form of repression. No amount of "it's a joke" can excuse it. It's a slur.

If a white person "jokes" that all black people like watermelon and fried chicken it's totally different from a black person making the same joke. It has an obviously different tone because it's automatically self-deprecating.

You can ask them to explain the joke. Pretend you don't get it, several times if needed, until their explanation gets boiled down to calling ppl slurs for fun (usually). Better than calling out as they have to explain the "joke" to everyone around, imo

I'm not trans, so it's not really my place to draw the line here. But I'm tired of these "jokes" too. Even if they're genuinely meant in good humor with no ill intent (which often they aren't), they normalize bigotry, reinforce stereotypes, punch down at a marginalized community, and treat people like punchlines. They're also just not funny. The slurs make it worse. It should be called out. We should want a kinder world.

How to confront it depends on the setting. It sounds like you're mostly seeing this in videos and comment sections?

First, protect your mental health. Trolls and bad-faith actors never tire, but you will. Prolonged fights only let them paint you as emotional or unable to take a joke. They'll drag you into the mud and turn a decent instinct into "comment section drama."

Second, changing their minds shouldn't be the goal. They almost never admit fault. I aim to "smother the flames" instead. Keep responses short and flat. Don't sound offended, don't invite explanation. "That's a slur tbh" works. I often go with "bullying is kinda lame bro." If they pull the "it's just a joke" card, I might go one layer deeper with "didn't sound like one" or "you might want better material." After that, I stop responding.

The goal isn't to win. It's to suck the fun out of the thread. The people who would've piled on now have to sit with the fact that they're being publicly bigoted, and the attempt to make the rhetoric feel normal gets undermined.

Whatever approach you take, I respect it. If we stay silent, we let them dictate what's allowed in the public forum.

Lately (as in a few years), I have been noticing a higher amount of "jokes" directed at trans (girls specially) in the line of "yes, a girl, but with an extra queue the laughs" and I don't really know if I'm personally just too sensitive and tired of these things or if is a more generalized sentiment.

I'm sick and tired of this joke as well, especially since it doesn't apply universally

thats a pretty shitty joke and makes us the punchline. it's basically "trans women exist haha". my existence isn't a joke. also it's false because many trans women get bottom surgery, and have genitals that would be difficult for a doctor to differentiate from a cis woman without a detailed inspection. so on the one hand they're invoking "dude in a dress haha", and on the other perpetuating a stereotypical falsehood about us.

I think the answer is really simple and universal, and applies to all people (especially minorities), not just trans.

If the person who is being joked about, considers this "joke" offensive, then this joke is a slur. If you think that a joke you want to say might offend somebody, just dont say it.

Also, whether the joke will or will not offend somebody also depends on context. For example, some gay people may use homophobic jokes in a sarcastic way, which is okay if people are comfortable with it. This is different from same jokes being used in offensive way by people who clearly hate this group of people.

I would say is the person telling the joke trans? Clara Blackstone makes a lot of jokes that would be quite offensive if they came out of a cisgender persons mouth.