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Where is the line between laughing with trans and laughing at them? (self.mtf)
submitted 6 days ago by LilyVess to c/mtf
19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I don't know if this is the right place to ask this, I apologize if it isn't.

Lately (as in a few years), I have been noticing a higher amount of "jokes" directed at trans (girls specially) in the line of "yes, a girl, but with an extra queue the laughs" and I don't really know if I'm personally just too sensitive and tired of these things or if is a more generalized sentiment.

I mean, those are things you could say to your trans friend when you're pretty close and both parts are on the same understanding that it's a joke, but just watching some video that has nothing to do with the theme and randomly getting the insert slur here (in Spanish there are many to choose from) is surprisingly tiresome.

Of course the moment you say "that's like a slur tbh" the "counter argument" is "it's a joke" and then I don't know what to say. Am I just too tired of the same "joke" or should I call it out? How do you see this "joke", "trend", whatever?

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[-] irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone 26 points 6 days ago

You can't joke about a repressed class unless you are part of that repressed class and thus poking fun at yourself. That goes for race, gender, or any other form of repression. No amount of "it's a joke" can excuse it. It's a slur.

If a white person "jokes" that all black people like watermelon and fried chicken it's totally different from a black person making the same joke. It has an obviously different tone because it's automatically self-deprecating.

[-] applebusch 28 points 6 days ago

idk i mean people can make jokes about marginalized groups if it's in an accepting way, and speaks to the truth about the group beyond stereotypes and bigotry. like im a trans woman. someone could make a joke about how common it is for us to work in software, and that could be funny and ok because it's the truth, whether they themselves are a trans woman or not. a lot of us do work in software in some capacity, including me. usually people outside a group won't have that kind of nuanced insider information, so all they could do is make bigoted stereotyping jokes. it's all they have in their head about the group.

im not arguing making jokes about a marginalized group you're not a part of is a good idea, or that someone would be likely to pull it off, just saying it's possible to do it tastefully. i only object to the absolute.

[-] GalacticSushi 18 points 5 days ago

someone could make a joke about how common it is for us to work in software, and that could be funny and ok because it's the truth

I immediately thought of this meme. Not directed at trans folks but the same predisposition for software and IT jobs applies.

[-] LilyVess 2 points 5 days ago

I love that joke since the Venn Diagram between Furry->Software Dev/IT<-Trans is pretty interesting, but that is a fun observation, we all laugh.

When the "joke" is repeating, for example, "Oh no Furry, what are you doing with my dog!?!" it stop being a joke and it becomes just target harassment, I think.

[-] irotsoma@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 days ago

I think making a joke about trans women and software is observational humor. Still not good but not as bad as making a joke using a stereotype traditionally used to bully that repressed group. I still think it's always wrong to joke at the expense of a repressed group, bit there are definitely levels of severity of how wrong it is. But a little wrong is still wrong.

this post was submitted on 21 May 2026
41 points (100.0% liked)

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