211
It really is... (reddthat.com)

So many nice men in the world, and then some bad ones did this.

all 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Decq@lemmy.world 140 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just dumping everything on a public accessible server and someone stumbling upon it is not hacking. That's neglect from tea.

That's like putting all your belongings out on the street and calling it a break-in when the stuff is gone the next morning.

[-] starlinguk@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Victim blaming. Well done. Another excellent example.

[-] GunValkyrie@lemmy.world 52 points 2 months ago

The victims are the users. Not Tea. Tea fucked up they are completely to blame for this. Not sure why you think the victims are being blamed here.

[-] Decq@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

In what way exactly is this victim blaming?

[-] pixeltree 17 points 2 months ago

How is this victim blaming? The users are victims of tea's complete lack of regard for security and the fuckers who took advantage of it. Tea is not a victim, tea was negligent in their duty to the victims.

[-] MystValkyrie 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes, exactly. Tea was a good idea, but there is room from improvement when the next iteration of this comes along. While men shouldn't have hacked tea in the first place, good app design and cybersecurity necessitates protection from hackers. A better CEO was needed, too.

[-] foxglove@lazysoci.al 8 points 2 months ago

Reminder: this community has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post.

[-] zarathustra0@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I think there should be an exception for ragebait.

[-] RicoBerto@piefed.blahaj.zone 71 points 2 months ago

Feel free to delete as I'm not a woman and I know the rules of this community. But I feel like context is important here.

https://www.404media.co/how-teas-founder-convinced-millions-of-women-to-spill-their-secrets-then-exposed-them-to-the-world/

"A 404 Media investigation reveals how the man who started Tea, the ‘women dating safety’ app, tried to hire a female ‘face’ for the company and then hijack her grassroots community."

[-] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 28 points 2 months ago

Hey Rico thanks for sharing! That's really interesting info. Obviously don't comment again, but I appreciate the respectful, helpful comment🫂

[-] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

~~No sarcams ever escaped your lips I am sure.~~ Edit : my bad I didn't read the rules of the community. That no sarcasm. Off I go sry.

[-] ZDL@lazysoci.al 5 points 2 months ago

It's two words long. It's perfectly clear. Not even my 6-year old EFL students could misunderstand this rule.

And yet there's always some bollocks-scratching asshat, well-meaning or otherwise, who thinks their pearls of wisdom are so important that they simply must speak in a zone that explicitly NOT FOR THEM.

Ladies, I present to you our "allies".

[-] RushLana 55 points 2 months ago

Hi I'm here for the mandatory "don't fall for the "hack" excuse" PSA :

Even in case of a hack, a company making money of their user as the responsibility to protect them from this kind of thing. In the case of tea it's especially worse since no "hack" took place, they left all of their data exposed on a server. But even if a sofisticated hack had occurred you shouldn't left tea of the hook, tea didn't provide any content the users did. So the company owes you data protection because they were making money of your content.

[-] MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Do you mean it's their responsibility philosophically or legally? Because those are very different concepts

[-] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 37 points 2 months ago

i mean yes but wasn't the app started by sean cook, a tech capitalist? i don't know if it was developed by women. their website only lists one other woman who leads socials but nothing on the dev team.

[-] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

Aside from the astounding negligence of the app team, it wouldn't have been necessary if we had strong communities and supports for people in the first place. No one should be worried about their safety on a date.

[-] oftheair 9 points 2 months ago

Yeah, there are whisper networks but a lot of them are gatekeepy and victim blamey, sadly.

[-] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

That's one of the worse things about speaking out, people think it's a lie or an exaggeration. Or it gets out, and blowback from that can be worse than the incident.

[-] oftheair 2 points 2 months ago

Yup, we know that all too well.

[-] LadyButterfly@reddthat.com 8 points 2 months ago

That's a really interesting point

[-] oftheair 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Agree, though Tea really should have invested more in security.

[-] princessnorah 44 points 2 months ago

As decq pointed out, they didn't actually invest anything in security.

[-] oftheair 15 points 2 months ago

Mhm, yes. Any apps like this really should hire security experts before they even start.

[-] Sivecano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

I feel that the original post is sorta scrambling for a narrative when this level of narrativising really isn't necessary to talk about the issues at hand.

even then the things worth actually talking about is not the "hack" itself but the things some people chose to do with the leaked data.

[-] Unknown_0671 7 points 2 months ago

i think a properly moderated app for these things should be considered, but i dont think it needs to be women only

[-] princessnorah 3 points 2 months ago

It's something that is much more needed for women than for men.

[-] Unknown_0671 7 points 2 months ago

by not women only, my emphasis was about folks like nonbinary, transmasc, etc that may not fit "women" label. i dont know how the app worked so maybe it wasn't exclusionary like that idk.

this also goes for who the "tea" can be about, it does look from the little i read that this was about tea about men. which i feel is also not a necessary exclusion

[-] princessnorah 5 points 2 months ago

I mean the app was made by a man, to try and profit off of women, so I think we're pawbably splitting hairs. I do think it is vastly more needed for a place that's for posting about men, but I do agree that non-binary users should be allowed to post. However, I think in the interest of having a safe space for women and enbies, that trans masc users pawbably shouldn't be allowed.

this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
211 points (100.0% liked)

WomensStuff

708 readers
134 users here now

Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.

Rules…

  1. Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
  2. Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
  3. Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
  4. No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
  5. New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.

founded 7 months ago
MODERATORS