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Maybe they succeed, but are you sure they are happier than you?
What is your definition of success? And while you are thinking about it, where does it come from? Is it valid?
My definition of success is getting to sleep on a bed and not needin to drink to sleep
Your definition sounds very reasonable and I am really sorry it is not met. I would just invite you to reflect on the fact that many "evil" successful-looking people may have a nice bed, but still drink themselves to sleep.
Framing. That's all it is.
Evil will thrive for a time, good will thrive for a time, ultimately that's not up to you. What others do and how they are or are not rewarded is not up to you. What does it matter anyway? Those who successfully do evil will die and be forgotten anyway, their actions having as little consequence as anyone else alive today.
You say you do your best to do good things? Great, focus on that. Because that is up to you. Whether in poverty or in absurd wealth, what matters is what you do with what you have. Evil people do evil things, it's to be expected. Why would you frustrate yourself with ignorant people acting as expected? And though it may be unjust, why compound it with anger over what you can't control?
Afterall, wouldn't you rather be governed by your commitment to bringing what good you can into the world instead of being consumed with frustration of evil acting like itself?
I want to be able to sleep comfortably and eat
Of course, but it's never truly guaranteed for anyone, is it? I've been in poverty before, starved and homeless. Today I'm a Punk that got lucky, and I recognize I could just as easily lose it all tomorrow. Ultimately, it's not up to me what life throws at me at any given moment. I only have control over my reaction. I can tell you from personal experience that material security is not what primarily builds up stability of the mind.
I'm not some jackass that's going to tell you that basic necessities don't matter at all, rather that you've got to accept that they're never guaranteed. I won't spew some bullshit that evil people doing evil things isn't really all that bad, but rather that you need to accept the reality we all share. Life will throw bullshit after bullshit at you, but it will never dictate how you react to the bullshit. Your material conditions are forever a slave to circumstance, but your mind cannot be conquered by anyone but you.
There is no stability of mind when I spent my childhood being sexually abused and being told to shut up about it, and when I have no social circle or interactions
Look, I'm gonna be completely frank with you: I'm sorry all this happened to you, but you absolutely have it within you to grow beyond anything and everything that has ever happened to you. Your past isn't holding you back; it's your opinion of it. You got dealt a shitty hand and it isn't fair that you have to be the one to get over it, but that's reality whether you choose to accept it or not. You can choose to accept it and choose to accept that it doesn't define you. That's all up to you and only you. People do terrible things and of course it's unjust, unfair, etc. The only thing you control is how you react to it. If you are still haunted by it, still agonize over it, if you're embittered by it, that's on you. It may be hard, difficult, and maybe even feel impossible, but those feelings will absolutely betray you from recognizing the reality that it's always within you to rise above. I will forever die on that fucking hill that you always have it in you to remain unconquered.
this sentiment basically just serve the writer at the expense of the subject and is generally harmful
That's a very silly take that I can't help but notice you didn't back up with any sort of reasoning. If you can legitimately demonstrate harm, by all means, present your evidence.
I’ll just will myself into not having PTSD then. Thanks, I’m cured!
I'm not convinced you even care about getting better with that attitude. Changing the way you frame things isn't some bullshit like being better just because you belive, but actually grappling with the reality in front of you. It usually takes time and therapy, all of which is up to you whether or not you honestly engage in it. I'm not gonna bullshit you with validating what you originally posted on evil people prospering compared to you, because that shit doesn't matter. You're better than that. You must focus on what you control. The ladder is there, you just have to climb it.
Thanks for the lecture dad! I’ll just grit my way into not having the rape nightmares anymore. There’s such ample evidence around me that life isn’t hell, how could I be so delusional to think the world is evil when a child rapist signed an executive order that was used to deny me a job? And therapy is so easy to find, what with selling off my things so that I can make rent!
Okay, it's obvious you either don't care about getting better or you're just the worst troll. You won't actually engage with a single point I've presented. While I certainly wish you would listen, that's not up to me, is it?
Points you’ve presented:
Stop caring
Get therapy
Wow, so help! I’d never heard any of those things before! I’ll make sure to use the credit cards my ex maxed out after torturing me for two weeks to pay for a therapist right away!
Oh hey, engagement. I'm sorry that I'm unable to think of a way to articulate that without sounding sarcastic, but I do sincerely appreciate actual engagement.
Stop caring
Uh, no. While I believe I didn't even suggest such a thing, I will also acknowledge that it's possible I didn't adequately articulate my primary point. In no way will I ever say to just stop caring, as that's unrealistic, counterproductive, and just plain silly. My primary point, especially as it relates to the original post, is to accept reality as it is-WITHOUT inserting an opinion. Your feelings will happen no matter what. You can't let them dictate your response, but you also can't make them go away. The point isn't to stop caring, but to redirect what you care about with full cognitive intent. The point is to focus on what you control and to use what you control to influence your desired outcome.
Get therapy
I mean, maybe? I thought my mentioning of therapy was more of a presentation of an option rather than a primary point, but once again I acknowledge that communication is a two way street and I must do my best to clearly articulate my point. To be clear, I don't think therapy is technically necessary and I didn't directly suggest it as I had considered a similar point as to what you have made about the monetary cost. Honestly, what they would ultimately be doing in therapy is to try to change the way you frame things by focusing on what you control. There are multiple approaches, but it usually involves figuring out what core beliefs you have that lead you to the targeted bad outcomes and challenging those core beliefs. This is certainly something you can do on your own, but therapy can help build the skills and awareness to do it effectively. But, once again, therapy isn't technically necessary for such a thing.
I think it's important for me to reiterate in a manner I believe to be very clear: The point is to engage with reality. The point is to confront your feelings. The point is to self-reflect with honesty. You don't control what happens to you, but you do have control over your reaction to it. If your focus is on the circumstances, then you will forever be a victim to those circumstances. Yes, things happened to you, just and unjust, but what are you going to do about it?
Yep, I just need to accept the reality where I have zero rights and can’t get a job because I’m a tranny.
Can you just stop?
You got to sleep on a mattress last night. I am so sick of hearing this shit from people who haven’t fucking been raped.
Oh, okay, now you're just assuming things about what I have or haven't been through? That's extremely arrogant of you. I don't know you and I don't know what all you've been through, so I do my best to not make any assumptions, I'd appreciate it if you'd extend the same courtesy back.
Regardless of what happens to any one person, they have control over their reaction to it. You keep comparing your life to others, but what good is that? You got dealt a shit hand while others do evil and thrive, it happens every day. Hell, story of my life, too. The difference is what you do about it. You know what I do about it? I do my best to help others never have to go through the same bullshit. Whether or not I fail is not up to me, but whether or not I try is.
Can you just stop?
What I find interesting is that you started this post and are free to disengage whenever you want, yet you haven't. Why is that?
I think you've articulated your point well and have solid advice! I think the whole thread was a rant and they didn't want any advice though. You were trying to help out but that's just not what they wanted/ needed to hear right now. So your viewpoints just clashed because of that.
Well, I appreciate your vote of confidence. I'd like to point out that OP started the post asking for advice and continues to engage with everything despite appearing to only want to rant. It's possible that what I've said is indeed not what they want/need, but it's also possible that it's exactly what they want/need. Whether or not they're receptive isn't up to me, but whether or not I try is. And that's exactly my point.
I don't believe they do that well. Whatever reasons someone has for consistently treating others badly are likely reasons for being fucked up internally too. Considering the most famously successful shitheads, there's really no way those people are having an especially good time.
Hard work, honesty, really any of those “positive” values seem to get you nowhere in life.
Materially sure, nothing guarantees it's fair or just. The bottom rung of material success trumps a lot of stuff for how your life is going to be. If you don't have that, I think you are entitled to be a little selfish for the sake of surviving and taking care of yourself. Past that, it's negative all around.
The evil people you see succeeding in the news are outliars. They're the ones who were smart, lucky, or some combination of the two.
In my personal life, evil people have pretty consistently succeeded. All that bullshit about “it gets better” I was fed in high school was a lie. My bullies can afford a mattress to sleep on.
Put on your Machiavellian goggles and look at what success is and how to min/max or find an exploit before it's patched. Evil people do all the time. The question becomes - is the system rigged against being good? Is being good the expectation and so a way to herd rule followers? At this point. What is evil? The most selfish people seem to find their way to the top because they treat every connection as a transaction to further themselves. The take away is that true social relationships are economic friction which slows and traps us in our socioeconomic position. Without the encumbrance of pathos and community a person can get further in life.
The only government factor to this is that a group of people, a community, can work together to thwart the selfish individual. Times like these it sure seems that the rift between our communities is a way to distract us from stopping truly selfish people.
Honesty and kindness have nothing to do with "doing better" one way or the other. So you may as well be honest and kind and at least not mess with anybody else's day.
You don't do those things to get a reward. That's Christian nonsense. There's no god to give you treats for not being an asshole.
It's still better to not be an asshole, though. It feels nice, and there's no advantage to assholeyness, either. I'd be slightly worried about having the tendency to think that assholes being successful means you get successful by being an asshole. Not only are you just as likely to fail (probably a bit more, becasue nobody likes an asshole, so it's harder to get people to help you or be nice to you), but then you'd be an asshole and have to deal with the emotional fallout from that.
In all seriousness, plenty of people out there justify their own self-centered tendencies with this exact train of thought. It's broken and bad and demontrably not true. Don't be an asshole. And that includes both to stop expecting a cosmic reward for being nice and to stop thinking that being nice precludes you from having to find effective, ethical strategies to get what you need or want.
That make sense? I think it makes sense.
I’m not expecting cosmic tit for tat.
I’m just wanting to sleep on a fucking mattresss considering that I ve spent most of my life trying to help ofhers
See, but that's not how that works.
You expect to sleep in a mattress because that's a basic, common need for people that the entirety of society should be sorting out for everybody. You should have living and sleeping arrangements regardless of how much of an asshole you are. You spending life helping others has nothing to do with having a mattress to sleep on... and it shouldn't. It should be universal.
So helping others and kindess and well-being has nothing to do with that. There are poor and destitute and homeless assholes as well, unfortunately. Plenty of perfectly nice people are doing just fine, or better than that. Being mad that the ways society or life failed you despite helping others is expecting cosmic tit for tat by definition.
So my argument is to stop blaming the helping of others for the misfortune and start dealing with the misfortune directly. Which in you scenario sounds like it has more to do with society, how it's structured and how it should have helped you that with anything you did, if we're at the level of talking about not having a mattress to sleep on.
For what it's worth, I don't know when your birthday is... but happy birthday. Whatever is keeping you down, materially or mentally I hope it gets better.
Check out Peter Kropotkin's Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution
Volunteer, donate and speak up for people around you that would do the same for your community, without doing harm to other communities.
Spite
I really don't care about the universe any more. I just keep doing what I can, when I can, for as long as I can just to throw two middle fingers at eternity.
I do my best to help others, fight back on things when I can and donate and support others who are fighting.
And I'll do that for as long as I live.
Spite would be fine if I had a fucking mattress and wasn’t in the position wher I might ha ve to sell myself to 80 years old again
i’ve been wondering that since being bullied in middle school.
seems like the jocks just come out on top in this timeline.
I got bullied in middle school to the point I attempted and instead of getting help I got sent to a troubled teen place where I was sexually abused and the took the viola away from me
jesus friend, i’m sorry that happened to you.
i just got beat on hand had some clothes ruined.
I don't think they really do. Narcissist's and sociopath's are eat overrepresented in prison. Most of the people who succeed are just terrorist regular ass people. While "dark triad" types may be overrepresented in the C-suite it's not nearly on the level that ilthey are over represented in the cell block. Being nice, being interested and being dependable get you most of the way. The rest is just luck.
None of it has ever gotten me anywhere lol.
The people who have treated me like subhuman trash are happy. I sleep on the fucking floor.
Being good or evil has nothing to do with affording ones basic needs.
The realities of life i think. Most likely why close knit communities are cherished, as those things can actually mean something. Im speaking as someone in the same boat, royally screwed over by the unscrupulous.
My problem is that my family rejected me, so there really is no “community.” There’s never been a place where I’ve felt welcome or wanted.
When's you're birthday? If you don't mind giving out that kind of information
I get where you are coming from, but also, why would you want to accept this? Part of what keeps me going is knowing that I don't.
Because I sleep on the floor Ina shitty apartment and dig out coins to get pasta so I can fucking eat
One source I've personally found that tries to tackle this subject is Psalm 73 from the Bible. Definitely a difficult topic.
Frankly, and all due respect to people who find solace in religion, expecting a god to reward you for ethical behavior is how you get into this warped frame of mind in the first place. It's a lot easier to understand ethical behavior being a neutral, not-correlated thing to wellbeing without bringing a deity into it at all.
Which then frees a surprising amount of mental and emotional bandwidth to wrap your head around all the very good reasons ethical behavior is still the better option, frankly.
Even if there was a god, and even if it was the god of the bible this would hold up. Surely you're in a better position by Christianity's values if your ethics are unrelated to worldly rewards of any kind. Being rewarded postmortem sure sounds like a bit of a scam to me, but it seems to necessitate the exact same ethical framework as a world with no god. Which I don't think is accidental, but has the advantage that we don't need to agree on the existence of a god to agree on what ethical behavior looks like and why it's... well, ethical.
I wish god would speak to me. I’ve sought him before, and the people who pretend to follow his words. I would love my shepherd to comfor me.
You don't. You buy guns and genocide.
That was sarcasm, but honestly that's the only way to get rid of evil.
I don't think good people ever had the heart to try it though.
I lost my right to buy guns recently, because reporting a troubled teen facility for physical abuse is “stalking.” Funny how a civil trial, where you have no right to a lawyer, means you lose your rights.
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Then turn to the dark side. If your current way of life doesn't benefit you, then change it. Nothing wrong with being more egoistical. Life has shown you that karma isn't real, so you might as well profit like others do.
At the very bottom of every machination in society is "Which side is equipped to do violence for their goals and has the will to exercise it?" The people who would oppose you can't do that if they're dead. It's just math.
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this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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