115
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
115 points (100.0% liked)
Mental Health
5806 readers
345 users here now
Welcome
This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.
Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.
If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zone has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12
Rules
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
- No promoting paid services/products.
- Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
- No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
- No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
- Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
- If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)
If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.
Partner Communities
To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.
Becoming a Mod
Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
There is no stability of mind when I spent my childhood being sexually abused and being told to shut up about it, and when I have no social circle or interactions
Look, I'm gonna be completely frank with you: I'm sorry all this happened to you, but you absolutely have it within you to grow beyond anything and everything that has ever happened to you. Your past isn't holding you back; it's your opinion of it. You got dealt a shitty hand and it isn't fair that you have to be the one to get over it, but that's reality whether you choose to accept it or not. You can choose to accept it and choose to accept that it doesn't define you. That's all up to you and only you. People do terrible things and of course it's unjust, unfair, etc. The only thing you control is how you react to it. If you are still haunted by it, still agonize over it, if you're embittered by it, that's on you. It may be hard, difficult, and maybe even feel impossible, but those feelings will absolutely betray you from recognizing the reality that it's always within you to rise above. I will forever die on that fucking hill that you always have it in you to remain unconquered.
I’ll just will myself into not having PTSD then. Thanks, I’m cured!
I'm not convinced you even care about getting better with that attitude. Changing the way you frame things isn't some bullshit like being better just because you belive, but actually grappling with the reality in front of you. It usually takes time and therapy, all of which is up to you whether or not you honestly engage in it. I'm not gonna bullshit you with validating what you originally posted on evil people prospering compared to you, because that shit doesn't matter. You're better than that. You must focus on what you control. The ladder is there, you just have to climb it.
Thanks for the lecture dad! I’ll just grit my way into not having the rape nightmares anymore. There’s such ample evidence around me that life isn’t hell, how could I be so delusional to think the world is evil when a child rapist signed an executive order that was used to deny me a job? And therapy is so easy to find, what with selling off my things so that I can make rent!
Okay, it's obvious you either don't care about getting better or you're just the worst troll. You won't actually engage with a single point I've presented. While I certainly wish you would listen, that's not up to me, is it?
Points you’ve presented:
Stop caring
Get therapy
Wow, so help! I’d never heard any of those things before! I’ll make sure to use the credit cards my ex maxed out after torturing me for two weeks to pay for a therapist right away!
Oh hey, engagement. I'm sorry that I'm unable to think of a way to articulate that without sounding sarcastic, but I do sincerely appreciate actual engagement.
Uh, no. While I believe I didn't even suggest such a thing, I will also acknowledge that it's possible I didn't adequately articulate my primary point. In no way will I ever say to just stop caring, as that's unrealistic, counterproductive, and just plain silly. My primary point, especially as it relates to the original post, is to accept reality as it is-WITHOUT inserting an opinion. Your feelings will happen no matter what. You can't let them dictate your response, but you also can't make them go away. The point isn't to stop caring, but to redirect what you care about with full cognitive intent. The point is to focus on what you control and to use what you control to influence your desired outcome.
I mean, maybe? I thought my mentioning of therapy was more of a presentation of an option rather than a primary point, but once again I acknowledge that communication is a two way street and I must do my best to clearly articulate my point. To be clear, I don't think therapy is technically necessary and I didn't directly suggest it as I had considered a similar point as to what you have made about the monetary cost. Honestly, what they would ultimately be doing in therapy is to try to change the way you frame things by focusing on what you control. There are multiple approaches, but it usually involves figuring out what core beliefs you have that lead you to the targeted bad outcomes and challenging those core beliefs. This is certainly something you can do on your own, but therapy can help build the skills and awareness to do it effectively. But, once again, therapy isn't technically necessary for such a thing.
I think it's important for me to reiterate in a manner I believe to be very clear: The point is to engage with reality. The point is to confront your feelings. The point is to self-reflect with honesty. You don't control what happens to you, but you do have control over your reaction to it. If your focus is on the circumstances, then you will forever be a victim to those circumstances. Yes, things happened to you, just and unjust, but what are you going to do about it?
Yep, I just need to accept the reality where I have zero rights and can’t get a job because I’m a tranny.
Can you just stop?
You got to sleep on a mattress last night. I am so sick of hearing this shit from people who haven’t fucking been raped.
Oh, okay, now you're just assuming things about what I have or haven't been through? That's extremely arrogant of you. I don't know you and I don't know what all you've been through, so I do my best to not make any assumptions, I'd appreciate it if you'd extend the same courtesy back.
Regardless of what happens to any one person, they have control over their reaction to it. You keep comparing your life to others, but what good is that? You got dealt a shit hand while others do evil and thrive, it happens every day. Hell, story of my life, too. The difference is what you do about it. You know what I do about it? I do my best to help others never have to go through the same bullshit. Whether or not I fail is not up to me, but whether or not I try is.
What I find interesting is that you started this post and are free to disengage whenever you want, yet you haven't. Why is that?
I think you've articulated your point well and have solid advice! I think the whole thread was a rant and they didn't want any advice though. You were trying to help out but that's just not what they wanted/ needed to hear right now. So your viewpoints just clashed because of that.
Well, I appreciate your vote of confidence. I'd like to point out that OP started the post asking for advice and continues to engage with everything despite appearing to only want to rant. It's possible that what I've said is indeed not what they want/need, but it's also possible that it's exactly what they want/need. Whether or not they're receptive isn't up to me, but whether or not I try is. And that's exactly my point.
this sentiment basically just serve the writer at the expense of the subject and is generally harmful
That's a very silly take that I can't help but notice you didn't back up with any sort of reasoning. If you can legitimately demonstrate harm, by all means, present your evidence.