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this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Mental Health
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Honesty and kindness have nothing to do with "doing better" one way or the other. So you may as well be honest and kind and at least not mess with anybody else's day.
You don't do those things to get a reward. That's Christian nonsense. There's no god to give you treats for not being an asshole.
It's still better to not be an asshole, though. It feels nice, and there's no advantage to assholeyness, either. I'd be slightly worried about having the tendency to think that assholes being successful means you get successful by being an asshole. Not only are you just as likely to fail (probably a bit more, becasue nobody likes an asshole, so it's harder to get people to help you or be nice to you), but then you'd be an asshole and have to deal with the emotional fallout from that.
In all seriousness, plenty of people out there justify their own self-centered tendencies with this exact train of thought. It's broken and bad and demontrably not true. Don't be an asshole. And that includes both to stop expecting a cosmic reward for being nice and to stop thinking that being nice precludes you from having to find effective, ethical strategies to get what you need or want.
That make sense? I think it makes sense.
I’m not expecting cosmic tit for tat.
I’m just wanting to sleep on a fucking mattresss considering that I ve spent most of my life trying to help ofhers
See, but that's not how that works.
You expect to sleep in a mattress because that's a basic, common need for people that the entirety of society should be sorting out for everybody. You should have living and sleeping arrangements regardless of how much of an asshole you are. You spending life helping others has nothing to do with having a mattress to sleep on... and it shouldn't. It should be universal.
So helping others and kindess and well-being has nothing to do with that. There are poor and destitute and homeless assholes as well, unfortunately. Plenty of perfectly nice people are doing just fine, or better than that. Being mad that the ways society or life failed you despite helping others is expecting cosmic tit for tat by definition.
So my argument is to stop blaming the helping of others for the misfortune and start dealing with the misfortune directly. Which in you scenario sounds like it has more to do with society, how it's structured and how it should have helped you that with anything you did, if we're at the level of talking about not having a mattress to sleep on.
For what it's worth, I don't know when your birthday is... but happy birthday. Whatever is keeping you down, materially or mentally I hope it gets better.