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me_irl
(lemmy.world)
Maybe because nobody would listen, or care about what he went through.
Or the inverse, that instead of just listening they made it something bigger than it had to be, trying to “fix it” when all he really needed was someone to listen for a few minutes, maybe a lap to lay on, but instead he got a “solution” he never asked for
maybe a lap to lay on
Couldn't find the exact right GIF, but The Boys came to mind.
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"Nobody would listen" yet people (not just men) don't go to therapy where someone's not only PAID to listen, but to help you challenge those cognitive distortions and apply the skills gained to heal with people that do want to listen without the payment. There's 8 billion people in the world. It's simply not true "nobody would listen or care."
Edit: 7cups.com is free.
Sure. I gotta pay just to talk to people. Love this society. I think I will just isolate for a bit like the meme says.
Therapy is not about talking to people, it's about helping you be best version of yourself. About helping you help yourself. Instead of continue doing whatever you think you're doing, with isolation and self harm and constant loathing.
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- Not everyone can afford a therapist
- Not all therapists are equal
- Just because there are 8 billion people in the world doesn’t mean there is someone there for you that will genuinely listen to you
But people with your attitude is exactly what I’m talking about.
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Aaand of course you are not a man.
Can you simply accept that you may not know what other people go through?
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And their Steam profile is like: Factorio 832 hours played 117 hours in the last two weeks
832 hours... What is this kindergarten?
If you don't have 5,000 hours in factorio, can you even call yourself an engineer?
What if you're an engineer who knows about Factorio and also knows a few things about your own psyche, and therefore have 0.0 hours played?
Then you're a smarter person than I, my friend.
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THE FACTORY MIST GROW DEPRESSION BE DAMNED
Y'all made me regret it last time I told you, so...
Look, it was exhausting explaining a similar situation in the past and we just don't feel like going through the explanation phase right after dealing with the bad thing.
I don't tell people things because they weaponize it against me later. Not handing you knives to stab me with no matter how you frame it.
I think you might need better mates. Unless the things you're doing is kicking dogs.
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Translation: "Something happened in the part of my life I don't tell you about, but I handled it."
Because nobody cares. And if he does start talking about it, he's unmanly. Yes, to women too.
Yeah. Those advocates for gender norms who says girls can be anything too will immediately tell you to "man up" at the first sign of weakness. How about we knock out gender norms both ways?
Guess what im doing with my problems now? And im also not sharing my solutions to said problems after theyre resolved because itll be a "why didnt you handle that sooner?" Or some other bullshit about how you could have prevented it from even starting
They were Isekaid and turned into a slime that had sex with everything that moved.
But they returned now and don't want to talk about the orgies. They miss em.
r u me?
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Long before my time, my WW2 veteran grandfather checked himself into the psych ward at the local hospital, spent several weeks there, then discharged himself voluntarily and never spoke of it again. The mental health stigma was real.
It's fine. We're fine.
Look if I tell you about my impending suicide it's going to make everything worse for both of us
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Would you rather me tell you about the tank of helium and the bag and hoses I bought and then returned, or do you just want to go back to playing cards and getting on with things?
Made the right choice BTW, stay strong.
I don't know if it was strength or not. I fell in love. Went to visit a friend I have known for 20 years but never met in person. Intended for it to be a goodbye. Plan was to go see him, get back home, mail the letters, drive to the ocean, and watch the sea as it happened. Even bought clear bags to make sure I could see it.
Fell in love with him while I was there. Not sure if that'll work out or not, but it gave me a reason to live. And if it doesn't work out, it means there might be other reasons to live still out there. I had only ever had the one reason, it was an honest to surprise to find out there could be another.
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We do the same shit:
Girl, you don't want to know. Anyways, I saw that new hairstyle! Who’s doing yours‽
I never heard of any man who will go away for hours or days? This is honestly messed up. But the way people talk about this sounds like it's normal.
I feel like this person is talking about a coworker who didn't come to work for a few days and doesn't wanna talk about why. I've been this coworker before, so maybe I'm just projecting.
I'm just here for a paycheck, not to share my trauma with coworkers I barely know.
But, but, we're family here at insert business.
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Maybe not days, but hours? That's not really all that weird. Depending on the context, of course. But needing a few hours alone to process something is pretty reasonable imo.
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maybe you should ask
The real problem is that when they do ask, the answer invariably leads to the person leaving for good. Yeah, I get it. I'm not fucking perfect, and I can't even protect myself most of the time. Doesn't mean that I should lose everyone that supposedly cares about me because I cracked for a few minutes.
When I have asked I get the, "Yeah dude, totally, I'll be there for you, you just say the word, you say the time."
So I say the word and I say the time and they're like, "Oh man, that's real bad. I've got this thing, and there's like this thing that's going on, and like, it's just not a good time for me."
So I say, "Okay, so how about this time instead?"
And it's like, "Oh man, oh no, I feel like such an ass, but that time doesn't work for me either!"
Then I go into problem-solving mode, "Well okay, so why don't you pick a time, and I'll work around your schedule? "
And they're like, "I don't know man, I'm just being here for you. You tell me when."
And so I pick a third time and they're like, "Ah geez, ah, oh no, oh man."
And you can tell me that I've got bad friends, and you can tell me that I have done a poor job in accumulating friendships and people who are there for me and who love me, and you can blame me for the fact that I cannot get help all you want to.
That's not going to keep the bullet out of my fucking head.
"Ah geez, ah, oh no, oh man"
~~days~~ years
ftfy
~~3D~~2Y
Whenever men's emotions come up on the internet the comments turn into the edgiest im14andthisisdeep takes. "We bottle it up because nobody cares anyway" like dude if that's genuinely true for you then it's still your responsibility to find less shitty friends. If you decide you don't need that much consolation then that's ok too but you can be self-reliant without being bitter about it all day. Idk maybe I'm too harsh but it seems infantile to me. If you have that much built up grief you gotta work through that instead of hiding away a bottomless pit of sorrow that immediately takes center stage whenever you try to open up.
Often encounters men opening up about nobody listening to them when they open up.
Proceeds not to listen, mock them and blame it on them.
Sure is strange, why this trend continues, right?
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your responsibility to find less shitty friends
Another digressive victim in lemmy, or genuinely retarded?
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Yes. Yes, we do.
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this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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me_irl
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