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me_irl
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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me_irl
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Whenever men's emotions come up on the internet the comments turn into the edgiest im14andthisisdeep takes. "We bottle it up because nobody cares anyway" like dude if that's genuinely true for you then it's still your responsibility to find less shitty friends. If you decide you don't need that much consolation then that's ok too but you can be self-reliant without being bitter about it all day. Idk maybe I'm too harsh but it seems infantile to me. If you have that much built up grief you gotta work through that instead of hiding away a bottomless pit of sorrow that immediately takes center stage whenever you try to open up.
Often encounters men opening up about nobody listening to them when they open up.
Proceeds not to listen, mock them and blame it on them.
Sure is strange, why this trend continues, right?
"Trend" would imply that it's ever been different. Also my intention wasn't to mock anyone. I'm just saying I'm 100% convinced it's not gonna change so the best approach is to adapt. I would tell women the same thing.
Then you would be scolded for trying to fix the problem instead of just listening.
Men are frustrated because of a common double standard.
I fully acknowledge that there's a double standard. But at the same time I think it would be short sighted to draw the conclusion that women have it easier. It's different, yes. But there's other issues associated with being labeled as "more emotional".
But my main point is that being frustrated about how society works instead of either taking action (like joining a free support group that meets irl or via zoom, seeking therapy, team sport or whatever else) or even just accepting that things work the way they do has never done anything except make the person who dwells on it even sadder.
I never said that and didn't see any comments like that at the time I commented.
But good job swooping into a discussion about men's challenges and making it about women!
I'm not trying to make it about women. I'm a guy myself btw. To me the frustration with that double standard kinda implied the feeling of having it harder. Thinking about it it probably doesn't. It wasnt malice, I genuinely have a hard time understanding this mindset.
I'm curious how an individual is supposed to make things better by slamming their head against a double standard. The frustration comes from attempting something and being repeatedly shut down.
From personal experience, speaking with a therapist doesn't keep people in general from negatively reacting to me trying to solicit support. "Don't be frustrated" isn't a solution. Best case is coming to grips with a shitty double standard, which helps people who are actually self destructive because of it, sure.
But a lot of us are just sick of it and want to have the existence ofnthe double standard acknowledged without being told how women have it worse. Both (all) genders suffer from double standards!
I'm a man myself and so are many of my friends.
Another digressive victim in lemmy, or genuinely retarded?
Hi AntiBullyRanger! So since I'm not disabled can you please talk me through the necessary mental gymnastics in order to apply the definition of digressive victimhood to what I wrote?
Since you're declaring yourself cognitively sane, it’s also the responsibility of friends to not be shitty. Shitty behavior is a two way street, you can't be shitty to men because society was already shitty to them. So be responsible for once, and stop being shitty completely.
If I don't know how to identify or deal with my own feelings, how can I support my bros? I bottle things up because if I can not care about my problems, nobody else will have to either. But I'm at the point now where I don't even know that I have problems before things get to panic attack levels, or I find that an innocuous sentence might bring me to tears every few years. I feel like Data when he gets random hits from the emotion chip.