Many have boarded this train despite lacking that mythical certainty...
The doubts may plague you till the day you utter those cursed words and make it real...
The universe may continue to constrict, snuffing color from your finite existence on earth...
But many have boarded this train, so why can't you too?
I have doubts of how possible it is to accidentally fake being trans. Back in my darker days when I hug out with terrible people (and also was one) I had friends who attempted to do just that to "infiltrate trans groups" and for almost every one of them it backfired and they ended up coming out as trans in one way or another.
So I think it's more likely to fake being cis than to fake being trans.
Wait, are you serious? People actually attempted that, only to crack?
Im cis but for a while I was afraid I was only "faking" being bisexual, until someone told me "if you are afraid you might fake it, you aren’t faking it".
That is a mantra that really helped me a lot and I hope it might also help someone else reading this
Something I laugh at myself for is that before I realised I was actually bisexual, I did consider myself to be faking it. I was a teenager who had heavily internalised the male gaze, and set too much of my self worth according to the attention I got from the opposite sex (which was not very much — I was an undiagnosed autistic with bad anxiety). I was aware of the trope (mostly in media) of (usually implicitly straight) women making out with other women to be titillating to men. I concluded that this is totally something that I would do, when I got to university.
I later heard about how problematic this trope is, and felt really guilty because even though I hadn't participated in it actively, I felt like I was contributing to the ambient societal biphobia. I later learned that many straight women would not enjoy making out with another woman, even if it was to get male attention. In hindsight, I think perhaps that it was in fact, me who was titillated by the idea of me making out with another woman (but it took me a while of digging through internalised biases to realise this)
I had thoughts of faking being trans a couple of days after crying due to gender dysphoria
The advice, that someone already mentioned, that really drives so many things like this home for me:
If you are concerned you might be faking it, you aren't faking it.
If you would be disappointed and sad if you weren't trans, you probably are trans.
I 100% agree with you but for some reason my rotted brain thought this when I read your comment I am sorry
But what if I'm merely faking my concern about my faking it?
Aha! Refer to step 1 again
Aha! You can't trap me with your recursion! It's ~~turtles~~ faking it all the way down.
Too late its validation all the way up!
I've been there. I am still struggling with the doubts sometimes but I am sure of one thing: I am so much happier now.
yea nu, didn do dis >v<
heheeeeeeee she said many peeps jus com to her n wait til they get their e n dun actulli discuss anythn, so i felt thad was sad n tried to mek it mor intrstng by bein lik "eh, mayb the trans bt lik - mayb nt!" n.... thad went wrong direction........... i ended up nt sayin anythn clearli trans cuz i thought she think "oh, dis humn jus wans them e. oh well..,... another one of these.,...,..." n now im evn worse off, big sads n tellin myslelf thad its all my fault for tryin to not mek things boring for her >//v//< heheeeeeeee still waitin for e ~
Even though that should've been enough, for those gatekeepers, they want boring. Uncreative fucks like that don't give a shit about understanding trans people 😞
So glad virtual is an option and informed consent is a thing. If I had to work up the courage to actually go somewhere, who knows how much longer I'd have taken.
Haha! Yes! Informed consent...
whimpers in British
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