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submitted 1 month ago by FirstMajesticComet to c/egg_irl

Today we're making a post explaining the Egg prime directive here because a lot of people aren't fully aware of what it means and a few people haven't been following it. Today We will clear up some misconceptions about the egg prime directive. Explain why it is important, and also clarify that compliance with it here and on blahaj.zone is absolutely obligatory.

What is the Egg Prime Directive?

According to genderdysphoria.fyi the Egg Prime Directive is an "unspoken agreement between trans people not to tell people who are questioning their gender whether or not they are trans." I have also heard it compared to the Prime Directive in Star Trek which is a rule prohibiting interference with the development of alien cultures. While we think these are great starting points they are flawed in that they lack the fine details a code of rules should. There's a lot of fuzziness and uncertainty around it and what is or isn't acceptable under it. Which is why we are here today. We are going to explain the nuances of the Egg prime directive as well as add our own very much desired amendments to our version of it to ensure that this community is a safe and respectful place towards all, questioning, trans, or otherwise.


Egg Prime Directive Details

On genderdysphoria.fyi they state that if a person is explicitly told they are trans it opens up ground for denial, it activates mechanisms that trigger internalized transphobia and make people psychologically resist and dismiss gender dysphoria. This is 100% true, but it does not tell the whole story, and leaves out quite a few of the negative effects of what can happen if people of any gender identity are called or accused of being eggs, or coerced to identify a certain way.


When people get called Eggs

The experience of being told by someone else that your gender is wrong, that you're an egg, that your trans in denial can be extremely jarring or disheartening for many people, cis or trans. Depending on the situations it might even be scary or torturous. Some of the people who engage in so-called "egging" know how to take advantage of this and ask leading questions or taunt people in these situations who clearly aren't comfortable. Contrary to what certain political figures have stated, such interactions will not turn a person trans or cause a trans person to stop being trans. They will also not "deeply confuse" people into getting gender affirming treatments. However Egging itself can cause psychological confusion, it can cause mental distress and make people doubt themselves. They may if they are trans slip further into denial, like what genderdysphoria.fyi said. If they are a cisgender person who is Gender-Nonconforming, they may doubt themselves or feel something is wrong with themselves for the way they identify, the way they present, or both combined. They may feel self-hatred. When Egging involves people who are nonbinary or genderfluid these effects can be made much worse, as most forms of egging are directly invalidating to the experiences of Nonbinary, and genderfluid people. In short there are a whole host of negative psychological effects associated with egging.


What is and isn't "Egging"

There is a lot of confusion (some of it intentional misrepresentation) on what is and isn't considered egging. Some people choose to believe it is lighthearted humor, others more disingenuously believe it is the act of explaining trans issues to a person.

Here though we are sharply and clearly defining Egging as:

The act of badgering, insisting, or telling a person that they are an egg, or trans in denial due to an expression of mannerisms, clothing, or other presentation that does not match traditional gender stereotypes of the gender they currently identify as, or their apparent assigned gender at birth (AGAB).

Additionally actions meant to imply or insinuate this conclusion, or imply or insinuate disbelief in the person's gender identification on the basis of their expression of mannerisms, clothing, or other presentation that does not match gender stereotypes of the gender they identify as or their apparent AGAB, are also considered egging.

Finally, we consider any outward actions that refuse to acknowledge or respect the way a person chooses to identify themselves as indirect egging. As well as presumption that their identified gender is wrong.

While this may not account for every possible scenario a person has been called an egg in violation of the Egg Prime Directive, it is the one of the most common ones that happen.

Some examples include but aren't limited to:

  • Calling a gender non-conforming person an egg for wanting to have characteristics more in line with the opposite gender or be more androgynous.
  • Calling a person an egg for playing a character in a video game with a gender or sex different to their own.
  • Calling a person an egg for behaving or committing an action that goes against gender stereotypes.

Some people might consider telling another person that a person is or might be trans in denial to not be egging or to be permitted by the Egg Prime Directive, however we do not consider it to be. As it makes a presumption about a person's gender different than how they identify, thus invalidating it. As well as an attempt to change people's opinions about said person and/or the way they are treated by those people. Thus it is a violation of the Egg Prime Directive.

To sit down and offer support to a person explain to them the nature of gender identity, talk to them about your own gender identity. About what it means to be trans in general is not considered egging, and does not violate the egg prime directive. In fact this is considered supportive and affirming behavior.

To use the term "Egg" to describe your past self prior to coming out or identifying as trans is not a violation of the egg prime directive. It is the intended usage of the term.


Why does this matter?

The Egg Prime Directive matters because in a community dedicated to be a safe space for questioning people, people must feel safe to question. It also must be a safe space for anyone who is gender nonconforming, including many trans and nonbinary people. The act of Egging makes a space unsafe for these people, it means they have to tread lightly to avoid saying the wrong thing. It means their gender identity is up for questioning and debate by other people, and that is not a recipe for a safe space for people to question their gender and receive support and affirmation. In all likelihood spaces like that will lead to the opposite.


Enforcement of the Egg Prime Directive.

In Egg_irl it is obligatory that you follow the Egg Prime Directive. Violations are not permitted, under any circumstances. People who are found to be violating the Egg Prime Directive, excuse blatant violations of it, or encourage others to violate or otherwise not follow it, will receive moderator action. In all cases the offending content will either be removed entirely, or it may be locked as a public demonstration. Depending on the severity the offending user may be banned temporarily or permanently from the community.

Users permanently banned for violation of the Egg prime directive will also be entirely excommunicated from the egg_irl community. This may seem harsh, but since reddit.com/r/egg_irl has been all but destroyed by egging, it is necessary to maintain a safe space here. Do not violate our trust and faith in you and it will not be an issue.


Closing thoughts

While this was a bit of a long one I hope I was able to get across the importance of the Egg Prime Directive to people. I hope I was able to help people understand the kinds of behaviors that are unacceptable.

If you have any questions or feedback you'd like to add, please leave a comment. If I explained something wrong or if something came across wrong to you please let me know so I can hopefully correct it.

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by rubythulhu to c/egg_irl

Hey everyone.

I've been a little swamped in my personal life lately, and when I checked in this week it I've seen a few things that worry me.

Some of you may know that this community is one of the ones that replaced an old subreddit after the api stuff. There were some rules there that aren't so explicit here in our rules. I'll be working on rewriting the rules in our sidebar soon, but I want to make a few rules clear:

  1. This community exists to support people questioning their gender. Be kind and respectful if you're going to comment. I've seen some mean, hurtful, or angry comments posted here in the last little bit. Don't bring that energy here, a lot of people come here to get away from hurtfulness. We will remove comments and dm you privately.
  2. IT IS NEVER OKAY TO CRACK SOMEONE ELSE'S EGG. Many of you have likely seen the post that inspired this rule clarification and this whole post. I won't link it here, but this isn't just an egg irl rule. genderdysphoria.fyi calls it "The Egg Prime Directive". People need to find and define their own journey. We can tell our own stories, but we cannot dictate the stories of others. This is obviously a zero-tolerance rule, and is definitely ban-worthy. Absolutely not allowed here.
  3. Do not invalidate other people's experiences. I've seen this in at least one post, something along the lines of "i don't think this necessarily means anything about gender". Here's i'd like to refer to the rule #1 of !adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com: (Rule 1). Basically the entirety of this post applies; there are some aspects of questioning your gender that may seem mundane to an outsider. This does not mean that the person who posted this experiences it in the same way as you. And, for some of us, things that felt mundane to us before too took on a whole new and deeper meaning as we found our way on our journeys.
  4. We still have a title rule. Please follow it. This is a tradition of egg irl from the reddit days. We could at some point reconsider this rule, but I still believe it is a good one as I summarized in a post here. This one I'm more lenient on. If you break it, I will post in your thread and politely ask you to edit your title, and either forcibly rename it or just remove it only if the author doesn't fix it. In the future, I would like to even automate this part with a bot.

As I said, I will be working on a more official stickied rules post, and updating our sidebar rules to reflect as well, but I felt it important to post these for now. I owe understanding of myself to the original egg irl and I want this to be similarly helpful for other eggs.

All of that said, I'd also like some mod help here. A few things I'd want from potential mods:

  1. you have a local lemmy.blahaj.zone account.
  2. under that account you have a history of posting here / other lgbtq+ communities positively
  3. that if you become a mod, you also make sure to get set up with matrix so you can be in the blahaj.zone matrix's mod chat channel along with me.
  4. i'd also prefer cracked eggs only; the mods here should consider themselves protective roosters & mother hens, nurturing and guarding our precious lil eggs <3

Please post here if you'd like to be considered, I will be choosing a couple of mods carefully.

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egg_irl (feddit.org)
submitted 22 hours ago by Someone@feddit.org to c/egg_irl

Thanks, I hate it. Couldn't the realisation have waited another 4 weeks? That would have been really nice.

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egg😐irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by squirrel to c/egg_irl

Description: A three panel comic. In the first picture a caption says "As a cis person, you have to try really hard to be your assigned gender." A smiling stick figure responds with "OK." In the second picture a caption says "As a trans person, you have to try really hard to be your true gender." The same smiling stick figure responds with "OK." once more. In the last picture the caption says "What if you let go instead?" The stick figure stares with eyes wide open.

This one made a serious crack in my egg back in the day.

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Egg 💋 irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 days ago by yoriaiko to c/egg_irl

There is a way to kiss boys and still be CIS tho.

Also Hi to the community, silly me joining/migrating here >:3c

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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by copygirl to c/egg_irl

Quoting the rule from the community for reference:

  1. You must follow the Egg Prime Directive. You may not push or coerce people into identifying or not identifying a certain way. You must respect them as the gender they claim to identify as. In addition it is extremely in poor taste to make assumptions about other people’s identities based on external factors, we understand it cannot be helped but it is best not to as it can affect the way you treat others in noticeable ways.

Honestly, I've been anxious about this for a while, not sure if or how to bring this up. I understand the importance of the rule when it involves real people. But I've been seeing comics and memes getting criticized of breaking the Directive a couple of times now. But aren't they just being shared from the creator's perspective? Making fun of their own experience, such as, looking back, pointing out how obvious things seemed? When you see any other comic making fun of some situation, that doesn't mean that applies to everyone. That's not the statement the comic makes. It's just something that may end up being, or having been, true for some people.

Am I wrong in feeling like the Egg Prime Directive is being invoked too easily when it comes to memes and comics?

edit: I hope this is the right place to make this post. (Also, technically, it's breaking the title rule? Are meta posts allowed?) To be fair, I don't recall where this has been happening the most, I've just seen it in my time browsing Lemmy and the many trans memes communities over the last few months. Also, note: The stickied post did not answer my question.

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egg⛏️irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 2 weeks ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg_irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 2 weeks ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg🎲irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 weeks ago by squirrel to c/egg_irl

Original comic by Mattie Lubchanski

Description: A four panel comic

panel 1: a group of people playing a tabletop game. SOME GUY WHO LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE MATTIE BUT A LONG TIME AGO sits next to the DM.
SGWLSLMBALTA: Okaaaay, so! The new character I rolled out is a 6'3" half-orc sorceress. Excited to get playing!
DM: Playing a girl again, huh.
SGWLSLMBALTA: Yeah, why?

PANEL 2: two other players.
PLAYER 2: Can you just come out already? We're supportive.
PLAYER 3: Waiting for you to transition is taking forever.

PANEL 3: SGWLSLMBALTA looks off to the side. Shot over the DM's shoulder.
SGWLSLMBALTA: Hmm? I don't understand what you are all possibly talking about! "Come out." Good one.

PANEL 4: The DM and the two other players contemplate death while SGWLSLMBALTA speaks off-panel.
SGWLSLMBALTA: Anyway...She was actually born a PRINCE! of the realm, but was CURSED by a WIZARD to be a girl...

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egg🔺irl (files.catbox.moe)
submitted 2 weeks ago by squirrel to c/egg_irl

Description: Photo of a box of "Toblerone Edgy Egg" on the shelf of a British supermarket

Not my photo, I found this on a random Discord server without attribution.

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egg_irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 3 weeks ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg_irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 3 weeks ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg🐦irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 3 weeks ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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Egg_irl (i.imgur.com)
submitted 4 weeks ago by dipshit@lemm.ee to c/egg_irl

(I've always wanted to be a tomboy)

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egg🥚irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 4 weeks ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg💤irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 month ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg🍳irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 month ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg🥚irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 month ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg💊irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 month ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg🎮irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago by TotallynotJessica to c/egg_irl
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egg_irl [Transfem] (i.imgur.com)
submitted 1 month ago by dipshit@lemm.ee to c/egg_irl
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submitted 1 month ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg🐢irl (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 month ago by compostgoblin@slrpnk.net to c/egg_irl
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egg👩‍🎨irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago by TotallynotJessica to c/egg_irl

This is just my personal experience and not a universal statement in any way

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egg🚊irl (lemm.ee)
submitted 1 month ago by dipshit@lemm.ee to c/egg_irl
view more: next ›

egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topics

3656 readers
172 users here now

!egg_irl

!egg_irl is for widely relatable memes about questioning one's gender or being an egg (a trans person in denial) as well as other eggy topics.

If you are looking for a place to discuss something specific to you or especially if you need help or are in crisis, we have communities and resources that can support you linked at the bottom of this sidebar.

General Rules:

  1. No bigotry.

  2. No spam, bots, or vote farming.

Rules on Content:

  1. No reposts.

  2. No personal-life posts, bingo cards, quizzes, selfies, "trans/not trans" lists, picrew, or non-memes.

  3. No visible names or usernames.

  4. Do not post or link to pornography.

Rules on Post Titles and Tags:

  1. Posts must be titled "egg_irl". An emoji or two is OK, but they have to be between "egg" and "irl".

  2. Posts that assume the viewer's gender and/or contain potentially triggering content must be spoilered and tagged at the beginning of the post title. Example content-warning tags that you can copy include the following:

    • [CW: Assumes Viewer is Transmasc]
    • [CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem]
    • [CW: Assumes Viewer is Nonbinary]
    • [CW: Transphobia]
    • [CW: Violence]
    • [CW: Weapons/Firearms]
    • [CW: Disturbing Imagery]
    • [CW: Fictional Egging]
  3. You may optionally include other tags, such as:

    • [Transmasc Meme]
    • [Transfem Meme]
    • [Nonbinary Meme]
    • [Gender-Nonspecific Meme]

Rules on Post Text:

  1. If possible, include an image description for accessibility.

  2. Add sources for art.

Rules on Comments

  1. If a post is tagged with a specific gender identity, keep the conversation centered on that identity.

  2. You must follow the Egg Prime Directive. You may not push or coerce people into identifying or not identifying a certain way. You must respect them as the gender they claim to identify as. In addition it is extremely in poor taste to make assumptions about other people's identities based on external factors, we understand it cannot be helped but it is best not to as it can affect the way you treat others in noticeable ways. Read more about this decision here.

  3. No Ewwphoria posts. Posts which contain misogyny, misandry, transmisogyny, transmisandry, or enbyphobia for the purpose of expressing euphoria are not allowed here. At best they bring anger to others, and at worst they may trigger people's dysphoria. People who create such posts will have them removed and may be banned at moderator discretion.

Recommendations:

We strongly encourage you to include your pronouns in your account bio so that others know how to refer to you without misgendering you. If you're questioning or unsure of your pronouns, that's totally cool—just say so.

Sibling Meme Communities

Sibling Non-Meme Communities

Community Resources:

founded 2 years ago
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