897
girl what rule (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/onehundredninetysix
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ssfckdt 13 points 6 days ago

I've not seen the movie, but this is shades of that film about the woman who reinvented a lot of cattle technology, and there's a scene where they're trying out her new design for something and they decide the materials and shape are wrong and change them, and then three cattle die, and they're laughing at her saying her thing doesn't work, and she looks at what they did to it and calls them out for being idiots

[-] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)
[-] ssfckdt 2 points 5 days ago

thats the one

[-] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

pretty much. And suburban Melbourne mother shit too.

[-] BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago

I've noticed the opposite, people post reviews like:

I changed this, modified this quantity, replaced that, used another cooking duration, it was great, 5 stars.

Really helpful... /s

[-] rapchee@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

i just noticed it was caelen

[-] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 169 points 1 week ago

One of the few things I miss on Reddit is a sub called "Ididnthaveeggs" or something like that. Basically a whole sub of the bonkers substitutions people have done. It was always a good read.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 99 points 1 week ago

1/5 stars

I didn't have sugar, butter, vanilla, or baking powder, and I substituted the milk with cheddar cheese. Also, I don't have an oven, so I just used a frying pan on the stove top. It turned into an omelet! Would not recommend this cake recipe.

[-] slappypantsgo@lemm.ee 4 points 6 days ago

It might sound totally insane but this is barely an exaggeration with some of the ones you see submitted there (and I mean ones that aren’t jokes).

They will absolutely make tons of substitutions and still rate the recipe based on it. It’s infuriating and should be illegal.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

This is outrageous. Where are the armed men who come in to take the substituters away? Where are they? This kind of behavior is never tolerated in Boraqua. You cook like that, they put you in jail. Right away. No trial, no nothing. Bakers? We have a special jail for bakers. You're leaving out ingredients? Right to jail. You're editing Michelin Star recipes? Right to jail. Right away. You're whisking too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You're adding too much butter for cakes, pastries, you right to jail. You undercook flan, believe it or not, jail. You overcook quiche, also jail. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the food delivery and you don't show up? Believe it or not, jail, right away. We have the best cooks in the world, because of jail.

[-] seralth@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Cooking flan at all should be jail so I believe it.

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I mean, it still requires heat to caramelize the sugar before mixing ingredients. I'd say that it's cooking by loose definition, or are you arguing that flan should not be made. No judgment either way. I'm just curious.

[-] slappypantsgo@lemm.ee 2 points 5 days ago

Jail is too lenient! Death penalty!

[-] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

[Door to walk-in oven slams shut]

"Hello, Kaeyghleigh, I'd like to play a game. Next to you are two buttons. One will set the oven to 80F for 350 minutes, the other 350F for 80 minutes. To survive, you'll need to follow instructions carefu-- [whooshing noise as the gas flames flare up in the oven]. Okay, that was fast."

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 29 points 1 week ago

I tried to make fried eggs but I didn't have eggs so I replaced them with ice cream.

0/10 hot ice cream soup isn't fried eggs!!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[-] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 123 points 1 week ago

Carrots having way too much sugar is wild to me. Like what do you eat except kale?

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago
[-] megopie 43 points 1 week ago

I mean, carrots do have a lot of sugar as vegetables go, but it’s like 5% sugar by weight. If you’re cutting out stuff with that low of a ratio, you’re probably taking a low sugar diet a bit far.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 86 points 1 week ago

I asked you for directions to Santa Monica but I decided to drive to the Mojave instead and there was NO BEACH AND NO OCEAN.

2/5 stars, wouldn’t recommend Santa Monica

[-] Rooskie91@discuss.online 75 points 1 week ago

Carrots have way too much sugar?? To go in a cake?? Wut

[-] hinterlufer@lemmy.world 67 points 1 week ago

What's wrong honey? You haven't finished your kale cake.

load more comments (9 replies)
[-] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 71 points 1 week ago

If carrots have too much sugar for you, sweety, don't bake a fucking cake.

So in cooking, I tend to do this sort of thing all the time, but not in a dumb way - for example, when I roast a chicken, if I want a more Asian spin on it, I’d sub out my usual herbs de Provence + fresh parsley/sage/rosemary/thyme for chili crisp, ginger, sambal olek, minced Thai basil, and a bit of cilantro, or something like that.

But in baking, there’s actual chemistry involved with almost everything, so you do not want to fuck with that unless you actually know what you’re doing..

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Pika@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 week ago

any site worth their salt would remove these reviews as they aren't based off the product posted since they subbed items

[-] atocci@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago

They substituted the salt with nutritional yeast.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 32 points 1 week ago

“I tried playing my DOOM: The Dark Ages copy for Xbox but I don’t own an Xbox so I put the disk in my Nintendo 64. The game didn’t even launch wtf this game sucks”

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 60 points 1 week ago

There’s a sub for this on the other site, called “Didn’tHaveEggs”. It’s funny as.

load more comments (16 replies)
[-] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago

I've replaced the celery in the raw celery recipe with pizza. Why am I not losing weight?

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

It's like that Marie Callender Pie incident lol

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Randelung@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago

Do people just substitute things that look similar?

I didn't like egg whites, so I used soap instead. Ew, it tastes like soap!

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] RedSnt@feddit.dk 35 points 1 week ago

I'm guilty of this. For my pesto recipe I replaced pine nuts with peanuts, olive oil with sunflower oil, basil with spinach, cheese with nooch, but kept the salt, pepper, garlic and citric acid. It's not exactly pesto anymore at that point, but for a struggle meal it could be a lot worse.

[-] Dabundis@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago

Technically what you made very well could still be "Pesto", since the word refers to how it's prepared not what's in it (shares the same root as Pestle). The basil, pine nut, olive oil, and cheese recipe you were following would be Pesto alla Genovese

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (15 replies)
[-] pooberbee@lemmy.ml 34 points 1 week ago

I'm really loving the last one there. Somehow "shots" is their preferred unit of measure. Most cookies don't have any liquid ingredients, either, so milk is kind of a wild addition. Then they blame the recipe for being chunky, which I assume is due to the banana that they did a shit job of mashing. The cherry on top is that there is a rating out of five stars at the top (looks like they gave five stars?), but then they throw in a rating out of ten at the bottom. Should have given a thumbs up rating, but I assume the thumbs are busy in their ass.

load more comments (13 replies)
[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago

What on earth do these people think recipes are

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago

Who the fuck substitutes mayo for heavy cream?

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
897 points (100.0% liked)

196

3282 readers
1526 users here now

Community Rules

You must post before you leave

Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).

Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.

Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.

Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".

Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.

Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.

Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.

Avoid AI generated content.

Avoid misinformation.

Avoid incomprehensible posts.

No threats or personal attacks.

No spam.

Moderator Guidelines

Moderator Guidelines

  • Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
  • Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
  • When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
  • Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
  • Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
  • Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
  • Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
  • Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
  • Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
  • Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
  • Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
  • Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
  • First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
  • Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
  • No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
  • Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
  • Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.

founded 4 months ago
MODERATORS