1249
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

THE PROPHECY!

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

I always thought "D.C." meant "District of Columbia." TIL from the combination of your username and post that it means "Dildo, Canada."

Kind of a weird name for the capital of an entirely different country.

[-] k0e3@lemmy.ca 74 points 2 days ago

This is a sign. The second cumming of Christ.

[-] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

Thats it, you won the comments section.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I’m so tired of this ‘will-they won’t they’

[-] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 124 points 2 days ago
[-] remotelove@lemmy.ca 48 points 2 days ago
[-] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 25 points 2 days ago

I thought my hand gesture was a chef's kiss for such a confluence of events. Not sure what you're on about.

[-] Theatomictruth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 days ago
[-] peregrin5@lemm.ee 22 points 2 days ago

Wtf. This is hilarious. Why are men so insecure?

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Probably because telling a man he has a small dick is okay but saying a woman has a loose pussy isn't

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 days ago

I'm not insecure! YOU'RE INSECURE!

[-] Zachariah@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

that radical feminist groups have propagated these hidden messages to humiliate men with small penises

Why would radical feminists target men with small penises? They’re probably already naturally humiliated, right? It’s the big dick men who need to be taken down a notch.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (14 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 36 points 2 days ago

Everything reminds me of him 😞

[-] rockSlayer 101 points 2 days ago

The prophecy has been fulfilled

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SoupBrick@pawb.social 96 points 2 days ago
[-] SARGE@startrek.website 31 points 2 days ago

My first thought was ".... Again? They need some better contraceptives" but no, it's the same one... A shame, that would open the door for so many jokes.

[-] 2fm@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago

Two balls! Wait.. what's that? Over there... It looks like a big...

[-] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 57 points 2 days ago

Weiner's and beans! Get yer Weiner's and beans! Holy shit kid! over there, that looks just like a...

[-] Stamau123@lemmy.world 52 points 2 days ago

Wang! Pay attention!

Sorry teacher, I was distracted by that giant...

[-] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago

Cock your head! Do you see it?!

Oh yeah, it looks like a massive...

[-] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago

Rod, check this out! It looks just like a huge..

[-] Sonicdemon86@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Pecker, oh that's not a woodpecker it looks like a huge ...

[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Johnson! Radio the admiral! This ship's about to be plowed by that enormous-

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"COCKLES!!! OYSTERS, CLAMS, AND COCK-- say, am i the only one seeing this..."

[-] libra00@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Penistone is a small town in South Yorkshire, England.

[-] NewSocialWhoDis@lemm.ee 21 points 2 days ago

I am kind of disappointing this is actually from 2023 though! It needs to cum again.

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

The phallus iceberg always rises again it seems (accounting for shrinkage).

[-] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 days ago

Even mother nature looked at our present timeline and said "Yeah...fuck it....let's see how crazy shit can get."

[-] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 29 points 2 days ago

You think that's big, you should see the size of it under the water.

[-] FlightyPenguin@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago

Also, this is what it looks like when it's cold.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] FoolishAchilles@lemm.ee 14 points 2 days ago

Finally an article that made me believe I was reading the onion

Okay... 2023? How did I miss this? That can't be real. Is it real? Maybe this really is all a simulation. But, like, it's just a game of Sims, and the player started getting bored... It sure would explain a lot.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

We're gonna need a bigger M&M's tube....

[-] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 9 points 2 days ago

Someone had an interesting "on this day"

[-] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] xeekei@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago

What kinda coincidence is this? I feel like someone must've sculpted it.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] andros_rex@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Alas, the iceberg lacked staying power: Pretty photographed the 30-foot (9.1 meter) phallic structure on Thursday, April 27. It collapsed the next day.

Hate it when that happens.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

If your iceberg lasts more than 3 days, consult a physician

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I mean, who names a bay in Dildo county Conception Bay (or vice versa)? The iceberg is just the tip!

[-] cod@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Most of my family is from very near there. I remember when this happened, it was quite the event

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
1249 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

16102 readers
1887 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS