495
don't be vampirist (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 days ago by nicknonya to c/onehundredninetysix

show transcriptmysharona1987 posts:
[screenshot of a tweet]
@iamthedunce tweets:
Vampires don't live in castles, Count Dracula lived in a castle because he was a count, not because he was a vampire.

iamnmbr3 replies:
this feels like a sensitivity training for how to not commit micro aggressions against vampires in your workplace

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[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 95 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Also, many vampires are pretty low on pecking order when it comes to powers.

The newly-minted millennial vamps are barely stronger than your average gym goer, due to how little blood they actually get. A count? Sure, he has henchmen to bring him gallons of the pure stuff per day, and his powers diminish greatly if he doesn't maintain that flow.

We've got this one guy on our night shift. Good guy, works in the back stacking shelves, but he can barely levitate half a meter and can carry as many boxes as I can.

I asked him once, why can't you fly around and turn into a bat and stuff?

He looked at me like I'd just slapped him, but he carefully explained to me that the blood of virgins isn't exactly lying around, and any attempt to procure it himself would just land him in jail like anybody else. Apparently a lot of new vamps just go to the butcher shop to get pig blood, and it's usually enough to get by, but it's becoming harder and harder to find a supplier as veganism is becoming quite popular where he lives as his area is gentrifying.

Honestly, the number of people who never consider the socio-economic problems of vampires is frankly quite sickening.

[-] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago

This feels like a “what we do in the shadows skit” I love it

[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

He was a count because he lived in a castle that allowed him to control a county. You can't be a count without having either the political or supernatural power to maintain your fief. The idea that nobility are divinely appointed is just propaganda from second sons and feckless princes. It's not like the Ottomans ever viewed vlad as a noble.

[-] egrets@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

My understanding is that although a county is administered by a count (or earl, in Britain), the rank of nobility didn't generally implicitly confer land holdings. Likewise with duchies, principalities, baronies, etc.

[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Vlad was a voivode, a military prince. Count was just a way to integrate himself with Victorian peerage when he came to take Harkers woman. But like I said, peerage is largely for second sons and feckless princes. Not castle owning vampires.

Centralized states that already razed any castles that could rebel from the monarch like Victorian England don't have vampires living in castles in the first place.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 7 points 2 days ago

It’s not like the Ottomans ever viewed vlad as a noble

The vampire Bram Stoker wrote about is not based on Vlad III. The title of the book was going to be "Count Wampyr" up until just a few weeks before publication, when he came across stories about Vlad Tepes, and he made a few very minor changes at this late stage to incorporate details about Vlad, so talking about the fictional character Dracula in terms of the real-life Ottoman-Wallachian politics is not necessarily the best approach.

That said, talking about the real historical Vlad Tepes, where does the idea that Ottomans didn't view him as a noble come from? He was raised as a hostage in the Ottoman court, as the son of a recognised noble vassal. And after his father Vlad Dracul's death, he took the throne after the presumed death of Vladislav II, with the backing of the Ottomans. (But then Vladislav turned up alive and threw out Vlad Dracula.) Wallachia was on such a knife's edge between Hungary and the Ottomans that it flipped sides multiple times—and Vladislav and Dracula even each switched side themselves during this period. But he was definitely recognised as a noble, in at least the same way one nation would recognise their enemy's nobles.

Count was just a way to integrate himself with Victorian peerage when he came to take Harkers woman

The version shown in some movies, where he wanted to get with Mina and that's why he goes to England, doesn't concord with the book. In the book, Dracula's motivation for going after Mina and Lucy is much more ambiguous. Lucy first starts sleepwalking on 25 July (Mina writes about it 26 July), after the Demeter (carrying Dracula) entered the Bay of Biscay on 24 July, so it seems he has learnt about her by this time (possibly from Renfield, who is clearly working for Dracula by at least 5 June). But it's also possible the sleepwalking is coincidence, and that as Mina says in her 1 October diary entry, it's only because Lucy sleepwalks into the Whitby churchyard that Dracula gets a hold of her. It's not especially clear which is true.

But there doesn't seem to be much indication that he is going after Mina until much later. Possibly he only does it as revenge for the band of heroes taking out his containers of Transylvanian dirt, after Lucy has already died (he does mention "revenge" when the heroes encounter him on 3 October, but he's not exactly a reliable narrator). I believe the first sign of Dracula going after Mina is in Jonathan Harker's 5am 1 October diary entry.

[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm just shitposting about the legitimacy of lords of the marches vs other peerages. I don't actually believe anything I said or put deep consideration in it.

[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Vlad was a voivode

VOIVOOOD...?

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago

just realized the muppet that counted was Dracula

[-] metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub 20 points 2 days ago

And some vampire traditions have them with arithmomania, which is why to escape them you drop a large number of something in front of them (so they'll be compelled to count every single grain of rice while you make your escape, for instance).

[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Feels more "red scare"...

Vampires aren't just in castles in europe. They could be your friends, your family even YOU

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago

How come Count Duckula also lives in a castle then? Feels like there’s some kind of co-morbidity going on there.

[-] nicknonya 4 points 1 day ago

Count Duckula

the reading comprehension on this site i swear

[-] Ledericas@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago

VLAD DRACULA tepes has a teleporting castle.

[-] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 5 points 2 days ago

Collin Robinson entered the chat

this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2025
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