803
submitted 5 months ago by imvii@lemmy.ca to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] dan@lemmy.i.secretponi.es 246 points 5 months ago

A great idea. Then, when you have to spend four donalds for a carton of eggs you'll remember why voting for con-men is a bad idea.

[-] blakenong@lemmings.world 33 points 5 months ago

Shhh… do you even know how easy that will be to forge? ;) ;)

[-] kn33@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago

$4? Shit it was $6 at the local Aldi yesterday.

[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 31 points 5 months ago

Four donalds, aka four hundred dollars ($400)

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 181 points 5 months ago

Just so everyone's aware, it's super duper illegal to deface currency.

So like, it would be against the law to use a sharpie to add a Hitler mustache to Trump's face on said dollar bill; or add an arm extended in a Nazi salute; or add swastikas over 'god' where it says "In god we trust"; to then bring it to a bank and report that you received defaced currency and would like to exchange it for new bills, only to do it all again.

So... y'know, probably don't do those things.

[-] WhiteRabbit_33@lemmy.world 51 points 5 months ago

It's more a legally gray area in the US that as far as I can find from a quick search has never been settled in court. It likely isn't worth the time for police to go after either even if it was more explicitly illegal.

That might change if there's a sudden surge in people drawing on $100 bills, but who uses $100s that often anyway? Most ATMs I used only dispense $20s. It often isn't worth the trip to the bank, and the US is unfortunately mostly cashless now.

But to be clear: fuck this fascist bullshit and resist in whatever ways you can

https://www.stampstampede.org/faq/yes-its-legal/

[-] frezik@midwest.social 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

There's an argument we shouldn't even be issuing $100 bills in the first place. Counterfeiters have to spend money to copy money. A $1 or $5 bill isn't worth the cost. A $50 is getting there, but if you put extra anti-counterfeiting measures around it, then it's pushed out of reach again.

Once you reach a $100 bill, though, it's hard to have enough anti-counterfeiting measures while also being cheap enough to produce by the actual US Mint. Drop it entirely, and the problem goes away.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 34 points 5 months ago

It's also illegal for a living person to be featured in our currency.

"ThE rUlEs SaY a DoG cAnT pLaY bAsKeTbAlL!1!!"

18th consecutive golden retriever dunk

[-] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's not illegal as long as you're not trying to get it out of circulation, advertise, or pass off one denomination as another. So deface away.

(note: I am not a lawyer, do not believe some random person on the internet)

[-] RQG@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

At this rate he might do it himself.

load more comments (15 replies)
[-] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 148 points 5 months ago

President Trump could be enjoying his golden years golfing and spending time with his family," Gill told Fox News Digital. "Instead, he took a bullet for this country and is now working overtime...

  1. Wasn't he golfing yesterday?
  2. We all know he hates his family and is happy to avoid them.
  3. "Took a bullet" is akin to me saying I was stabbed in the face by a deranged idiot when I cut myself shaving.
  4. Working overtime at what exactly? Are his tiny chode fingers getting tired from signing a few bits of paper?
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] pubquiz@lemmy.world 96 points 5 months ago

Excellent news since only dead people are permitted on $US. When's he dying? I have March 5th 2025 in the pool.

[-] DrDominate@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago

Personally, I'm hoping it falls on my birthday

[-] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago

Can your birthday be 10 years ago?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 90 points 5 months ago

So....America....you guys really are about a step-and-a-half away from this?

Get your shit together. Christ.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 35 points 5 months ago

There's already proposals to put his face on Mt Rushmore, so yes.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Entertainmeonly 15 points 5 months ago

Already nose diving face first. Steps are gone.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 64 points 5 months ago

Man, these bootlickers are so pathetic. The lengths they go to to kiss his ass would be cringe even if it was towards an actual great person. The fact that it's directed at this hateful, disgusting man is the saddest thing...

[-] maplebar@lemmy.world 58 points 5 months ago

Whatever. Go for it, cultists.

This type of shit is just noise meant to distract and overwhelm people from paying attention to the stuff that matters.

[-] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

What this guy said^^ focus on the real issues and watch out for the other sleight of hand cause in the end that's all it is. They want us bickering with each other while closed door deals are being finalized

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Stern@lemmy.world 52 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Ahh yes, Benjamin Franklin, founding father, inventor of the bifocals, lightning rod, and Franklin stove, first postmaster general, founder of the University of Pennsylvania, signed the constitution and the declaration of independence along with drafting the latter. Definitely not nearly as important to this country as Donald Trump, who is singlehandedly keeping the orange spray tan market alive.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 45 points 5 months ago

Imagine living in a country with the face of a felon rapist traitor on our currency.

Brought to you by dipshit conservatives.

[-] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Do you know about Andrew Jackson's behavior?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] TheObviousSolution@kbin.melroy.org 44 points 5 months ago

Just in case people didn't know they were heading into a personality cult dictatorship already.

[-] uebquauntbez@lemmy.world 44 points 5 months ago

Doesn't DJT has to die soon for that?

[-] h3adphones@lemmy.zip 42 points 5 months ago

What a massive waste of taxpayer money.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 42 points 5 months ago

This was absolutely on my 2025 bingo card along with plans for a new face on Mount Rushmore and a mountain, river, or national park being named after him.

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 36 points 5 months ago

Well if they do that, I'll draw at least 2 dicks pointed towards his mouth on each one that I handle

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Daelsky@lemmy.ca 35 points 5 months ago

"President Trump could be enjoying his golden years golfing and spending time with his family," Gill told Fox News Digital. "Instead, he took a bullet for this country and is now working overtime to secure our border, fix our uneven trade relationship with the rest of the world, make America energy independent again, and put America first by ending useless foreign aid."

I can’t I give up. I’m Canadian and America is fucked. There are no policies, no plans to make projects or fix problems. It’s all a campaign and political points. This is just pure trash satire at this point. URGH

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 34 points 5 months ago

lol .... by the time they do pass regulations and laws to do all this .... 1 Trump will be worth nothing

It will be like the German Reichsmark and they'll be printing out so much of it, that these paper bills will be more valuable as a fuel source to cook your food than in actually purchasing anything of value.

[-] Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works 17 points 5 months ago

“1 Trump will be worth nothing” vs the immense value one Trump has now. lol.

[-] Ferroto@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago

We really are on the Biff Tannen timeline.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] pHr34kY@lemmy.world 31 points 5 months ago

Changing U.S. law would be necessary to allow living people to appear on currency.

Or he could, ya know, die.

[-] redlemace@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago

I thought only deceased people with a positive influence on society could end up on money. The latter requirement will never happen, and the way he acts many will think it's about time the met the first requirment.

[-] Archelon@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

Yeah unfortunately Andrew Jackson’s still on money so…

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] cupcakezealot 27 points 5 months ago

good way to cause a run on $50 bills when everyone refuses to accept a $100

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago

Not putting him on the $100,000 bill is slap in the face.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] makyo@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago

In the tradition of USA currency being only for dead presidents - I will gladly allow Trump's face on any bill if he's the one to pull the trigger

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] UpperBroccoli 23 points 5 months ago

When he's done, that bill will be as worthless as he is.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] sunbytes@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago

It's all just ring-polishing stuff to openly declare fealty to him.

Same as the third term stuff.

They don't actually care if it works, only that they have proof of it to show him down the road.

[-] froh42@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

That's fair. It will be used a lot, as it is about the price of a box of eggs at the end of this year.

[-] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 20 points 5 months ago

I'd rather see George Clooney's asshole on the 100. Put this fuckers ugly face on the ruble.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] UnexpectedBehavior@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago

Will that lower grocery prices?

[-] Nikelui@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I saw the onion logo and thought "heh, that's funny". Then I re-read the name of the community...

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2025
803 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

17487 readers
1222 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS