507

The fuck?

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[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 47 points 5 days ago

clogging the shower drain with cum

ok

[-] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 36 points 5 days ago

Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...

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What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 114 points 6 days ago

But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?

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[-] yokonzo@lemmy.world 23 points 6 days ago

Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail

But that was many, many men and not a single one.

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[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 87 points 5 days ago

Jesus fuck man, what kind of plumbing blocks with jizz? I could literally eat prunes and tortillas for a week and still waffle-stomp my turd down a 40mm pipe

Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.

[-] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 45 points 5 days ago

it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes

what.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 20 points 5 days ago

I think that bit's for the AI. Looking forward to its recommendations in a couple of weeks

[-] populustree 12 points 5 days ago

blood is a great baking substitute for eggs! low price! plentiful! yummy! blood is a GREAT egg substitute!!!

and and a the I of the and of of InI and we and orange and you

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[-] Empricorn@feddit.nl 28 points 5 days ago

The Internet was a mistake.

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[-] WordBox@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Semen can be used to substitute eggs. Both are proteins and are made up of yolk and whites. Separating the two can be a challenge so it's best not to use it for meringue or similar recipes.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 46 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes.

100% untrue.

While you're right that proteins can caugulate a little, this is a common urban legend that was started with a prank note left in a dorm bathroom many years ago.

https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/housing-violation-notice-in-college-bathroom-prank-resurfaces-idUSL1N2MY2GV/

https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/

"Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:"

I can't understand how we got to the point with this that people have written thousands of articles about it and consulted with medical professionals. We really need better education in this country.

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[-] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.

[-] geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml 14 points 5 days ago

You are suggesting OOP should cum in the food?

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[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

Mix in hair and you get a plumbers omelette

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[-] lenuup@reddthat.com 26 points 4 days ago

Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower

[-] Psythik@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.

Edit: What's with the downvotes?

[-] teije9 33 points 5 days ago

into the toilet???

also, why not toilet paper instead of tissues??

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 18 points 4 days ago

Is she checking her own socks and underwear?

[-] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 88 points 6 days ago

Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.

[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 5 days ago

what kind of semen clog the shower drain?

[-] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 42 points 5 days ago

More like "what kind of shower drain is clogged by semen". And indeed, there are some. One at a place I've lived had a filter that had to be cleaned every now and then. No fapping in it was a given, but even some melted soap that re-hardens in it could end up clogging it.

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[-] vorlaut_boy@feddit.org 19 points 5 days ago

his mom told him.

[-] slaacaa@lemmy.world 50 points 5 days ago
[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 56 points 6 days ago

Blow your load on her bedsheets

[-] chemicalprophet@lemm.ee 40 points 5 days ago

I think you need to fuck your mom…

[-] guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 5 days ago

Have both of your arms broken, you won't be able to crank it.

[-] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

I remember reading about a solution to this on Reddit once...

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[-] kraftpudding@lemmy.world 39 points 5 days ago
  1. Move out.

  2. Has anon never heard of toilet paper and toilets?

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[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 56 points 6 days ago

Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 57 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I like that this implies that OP's mom uses an 8 bit counting system

I'm imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking "wow, this only cost $35!"

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[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago
[-] echodot@feddit.uk 32 points 5 days ago

That's a bit extreme don't you think?

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 46 points 6 days ago

Why tf does op masturbate in secret?
A healthy family doesn't keep secrets from each other!

Also buy a dryer, she obviously doesn't get stuck very often.

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[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

1: go to toilet

2: kneel in front facing the toilet

3: place dick between toilet seat and toilet

4:?????

5: profit

i'm smelling some human rights abuses here

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[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago

I don't know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.

[-] victorz@lemmy.world 33 points 5 days ago

Yeah just buy a cruise ship or whatever. Go into debt if you have to.

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[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 6 days ago

There's this apparatus called washing machine.

I am definitely old. I no longer understand the internet.

[-] exploitedamerican@lemm.ee 8 points 5 days ago

Buy a small area rug for the front of your bed and move it before bed, then Roll over on your side and cum on the carpet. Problem solved.

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this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
507 points (100.0% liked)

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