Ah yes, I believe this is called "Much Ado About Nothing" in Stratford-upon-Avon.
Call me old fashioned, but I don't think pulling your pants down to fart is more embarrassing than doing explosive diarrhea into the Thames.
old fashioned
Everyone is going to be talking about it like I can't believe I saw some guy about to shit off the side of the bridge. Then about 1 hour later everyone will have forgotten and only you remember now.
Do it every day at the exact same time for 1 month.
Call it performance art.
People will be in awe at your revolutionary creative ambition
Art studios might actually finance your project
Embarrassment averted
I think we should commission a statue
I'm sure there's a curator at the Tate Modern that would entertain this argument.
At one point they are an arrangement of stacked plastic boxes. So it's clear they'll take anything
Soon a queue will form and you can charge 5 quid at the door
Sounds like a normal day in London for those other people.
Exactly, I mean it's the British food, they eat beans for breakfast for example. Explosive diarrhea must be illness number one.
Only for the weak with 0 fiber in their diet.
How you eat beans and still manage to get 0 fiber is beyond me.
That's meat beans, maybe
illness number one in London is whatever strain has developed sentience on the tube
they eat beans for breakfast
we're too broke for that
Not quite a shitpost but almost one. A fartpost.
Let's be generous and go with a shartpost.
"Titta"
As long as he farted in the general direction of France, he'd be OK.
Never gamble on a fart.
This is why i need to move back to a big city, i mss this kind of interaction with my fellow humans.
Maybe this is the same guy on holiday ?
https://thethaiger.com/news/national/fat-farang-strips-naked-and-poops-in-bangkok-shrine-video
ive done this but with poop
Projectile shit into the river?
yea in general
Ngl I’ve been walking to work one time and thought I needed to fart and followed through with liquid shit down my legs. Now I was always late cause it was a shit job, so I just rang and told them the truth and that I was going for a shower. When I got to work every fucker was cheering about me shitting myself.
I’ve had two other occasions where I’ve gone from normal to a sweaty, nauseous mess with an incredible urge to poop. One time did it in some grass after getting off the tram for an unscheduled stop and once in a train bathroom where I thought i would be found passed out covered in shit 👀 💩
Have you considered your diet, my good man?
Tell me more?
Diet is pretty poor. I rarely eat a lot.
On Tuesday I felt like I badly needed to shit. I was working at a hospital and the secluded bathroom was out of toilet paper so I went to one in the main part of the hospital. It was just farts. Possibly the most gas I've ever had. I have hemorrhoids pretty bad and farting while sitting on a toilet is the worst thing for making them very angry.
Plus mad people were walking by and stopping to have conversations by the door, so many people listened to me fart 40 times.
Your username weirdly checks out...
And on a side note: there are a lot of ways to cure/alleviate piles. What are your weapons of choice?
I just try to get plenty of water and fiber. I need surgery but I can't imagine having time for that. Work is frantic.
Good to hear that you know your options and what to do/eat. Do you use water/bidet instead op TP? And yes, surgery is annoying with the weeks healing after the procedure. Good luck in any case!
As usual, real comedy is in the comment section.
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
