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Anon misfires (slrpnk.net)
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[-] NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 153 points 6 months ago

Call me old fashioned, but I don't think pulling your pants down to fart is more embarrassing than doing explosive diarrhea into the Thames.

[-] frankenswine@lemmy.world 84 points 6 months ago

old fashioned

[-] slazer2au@lemmy.world 92 points 6 months ago

Sounds like a normal day in London for those other people.

[-] Samsy@lemmy.ml 30 points 6 months ago

Exactly, I mean it's the British food, they eat beans for breakfast for example. Explosive diarrhea must be illness number one.

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 15 points 6 months ago

Only for the weak with 0 fiber in their diet.

[-] RecallMadness@lemmy.nz 8 points 6 months ago

How you eat beans and still manage to get 0 fiber is beyond me.

[-] sukhmel@programming.dev 3 points 6 months ago

That's meat beans, maybe

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 months ago

illness number one in London is whatever strain has developed sentience on the tube

[-] amon@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

they eat beans for breakfast

we're too broke for that

[-] Gork@lemm.ee 68 points 6 months ago

Not quite a shitpost but almost one. A fartpost.

[-] ajoebyanyothername@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

Let's be generous and go with a shartpost.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 58 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Do it every day at the exact same time for 1 month.

Call it performance art.

People will be in awe at your revolutionary creative ambition

Art studios might actually finance your project

Embarrassment averted

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 4 points 6 months ago

Soon a queue will form and you can charge 5 quid at the door

[-] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 months ago

I'm sure there's a curator at the Tate Modern that would entertain this argument.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 6 months ago

At one point they are an arrangement of stacked plastic boxes. So it's clear they'll take anything

[-] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

I think we should commission a statue

[-] Kyrgizion@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago
[-] Sergio@slrpnk.net 35 points 6 months ago

As long as he farted in the general direction of France, he'd be OK.

[-] DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works 27 points 6 months ago

Never gamble on a fart.

[-] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 23 points 6 months ago

This is why i need to move back to a big city, i mss this kind of interaction with my fellow humans.

Maybe this is the same guy on holiday ?

https://thethaiger.com/news/national/fat-farang-strips-naked-and-poops-in-bangkok-shrine-video

Ngl I’ve been walking to work one time and thought I needed to fart and followed through with liquid shit down my legs. Now I was always late cause it was a shit job, so I just rang and told them the truth and that I was going for a shower. When I got to work every fucker was cheering about me shitting myself.

I’ve had two other occasions where I’ve gone from normal to a sweaty, nauseous mess with an incredible urge to poop. One time did it in some grass after getting off the tram for an unscheduled stop and once in a train bathroom where I thought i would be found passed out covered in shit 👀 💩

[-] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Have you considered your diet, my good man?

Tell me more?

Diet is pretty poor. I rarely eat a lot.

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 12 points 6 months ago

As usual, real comedy is in the comment section.

[-] Trollception@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 months ago

Everyone is going to be talking about it like I can't believe I saw some guy about to shit off the side of the bridge. Then about 1 hour later everyone will have forgotten and only you remember now.

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

On Tuesday I felt like I badly needed to shit. I was working at a hospital and the secluded bathroom was out of toilet paper so I went to one in the main part of the hospital. It was just farts. Possibly the most gas I've ever had. I have hemorrhoids pretty bad and farting while sitting on a toilet is the worst thing for making them very angry.

Plus mad people were walking by and stopping to have conversations by the door, so many people listened to me fart 40 times.

[-] drosophila 7 points 6 months ago
[-] Darkblue@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Your username weirdly checks out...

And on a side note: there are a lot of ways to cure/alleviate piles. What are your weapons of choice?

[-] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

I just try to get plenty of water and fiber. I need surgery but I can't imagine having time for that. Work is frantic.

[-] Darkblue@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Good to hear that you know your options and what to do/eat. Do you use water/bidet instead op TP? And yes, surgery is annoying with the weeks healing after the procedure. Good luck in any case!

[-] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Ah yes, I believe this is called "Much Ado About Nothing" in Stratford-upon-Avon.

[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

ive done this but with poop

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 3 points 6 months ago

Projectile shit into the river?

[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

yea in general

this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
737 points (100.0% liked)

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