I'll first say that from a social standpoint it makes sense to focus on yourself when asked that. But the person asked "tell me what you look for in a girl". You would have to be pretty damn masterful at thinking on your feet to take that question and immediately flip your answers into I statements. Especially if you're anon and obviously don't get asked things like this a lot.

No kids is a common wish although the reason for it can make or break how fine it is to have.

My guess is that anon is overweight, and the person they were talking to was thinking of friends they had that were overweight and were great people.

Anon betrayed that their preference was a bit delusional and/or didn't understand that it can take work to be in shape and takes it for granted that women should be expected to be fit for him without him having to do anything. That's a pretty sour fart of an opinion.

The no dating apps thing is pretty cringe. And could certainly make you seem like a pariah to most people. It definitely betrays a sense of superiority if it's in your top 3 dating requirements. I feel like anon knowing the word demisexual is slim to none but that would be the best thing you could say.

Actually my guess is that this is fake and anon is just stirring the hate mongering pot.

My only gripe with this is that nobody should have to defend themself for not wanting kids. If you don't want kids then you don't want kids and should be able to just leave it at that.

I like how you put this. Anon was asked requirements and all he gave were deal-breakers. It comes off as desperate, crass, or both.

This is an actualized response. In the moment a lot of people can't pull this off, it does take practice. You're right, of course, this is better...I just wish people would more commonly be willing to ask a clarifying question or two before pulling out the butcher's knife.

Some folks just aren't good with their words and may otherwise be great people. In this situation, true or not, they were talking for some time. I think that level of interaction is worth some benefit of the doubt and the tiniest bit of patience. Instead, despite hitting it off and having a great conversation, shallow lady over there judges him by a single moment amongst probably a dozen leading up to it.

...but that is how it goes. That's the game. It's all just a bit silly though.

Anon is definitely not into fitness though. Probably a lard ass himself.

Also, this is just a really negative set of statements. "I DON'T want X, Y, and Z." Even giving anon a pretty big benefit of the doubt and assuming they didn't state it like "No fatties," they aren't really saying what they want in a partner, just a bunch of standards by which they would judge somebody.

The search for a romantic partner should involve more positives than negatives. You should have ideas about what things you like in people and yourself, and what interests and activities that you're passionate about and would like to share with someone. If you start with a laundry list of things that you don't like, that's not just going to be off-putting, it's going to be limiting you to thinking only in those terms, rather than finding something that brings you joy, and finding someone that has that in common with you.

This. She probably wasn't disgusted by the content, but by the form of what he said.

My boi here knows how to hold a conversation.

A skill OOP seems to be severely lacking in

Incels? there are plenty of family men that think this way. They stuck to their preferences and have a much better life for it. We shouldn't marginalize them for it and give them names that don't make any sense also being afraid to speak about preferences is not good.

My preference is women not yet blessed with children, in good shape, and not whoring themselves out on dating apps like tinder.

It's actually really simple to use positive language!

Saving this for when I have to describe my preference to anyone again.

A reasonable argument would be because oop sees sex as something special and would like a partner that thinks of it the same way.

In reality, oop probably thinks of woman who are on tinder as worthless sluts and doesn’t want a woman with a higher headcount than him because it bruises his ego.

U tell me

I think it's 100% reasonable to not want to meet dating app girls

Makes sense to me, but I'm odd like anon too I guess. I won't work for places that have an HR department for (likely) similar complex reasoning. I don't fit the mold or follow the rules like most people in a job. Just give me responsibilities and I'll be as reliable as if you do them yourself. I don't handle arbitrary people and bureaucracy well. I just do what makes sense in the moment like a business owner that is very conservative. I ran my own businesses for a long time and act like the employees I wish I had been able to find. When a company has an HR department it says they are inflexible and incompetent in efficiency and abstraction. I know I will be miserable in such a place where layers are used to mask managerial incompetence and political maneuvering.

Similarly, a person that likes to shop around and date a lot says quite a bit about their ethics and mindset. I've never used a dating app in my life. All of my long term relationships are from friends of friends. I have no curiosity about who is out there in general or judging people based on their best sales force lies or old pictures. I am only interested in the rare people that say or do something candidly interesting when I am not expecting it; like if someone has a nerdy passionate interest or interesting quark. The average person is not interesting to me, and average people are on dating apps.

Plus, I know what I am, and I do not care to try and sell that to anyone. I would much rather the person at least have some familiarity with me beforehand. Starting off formally of calling it "dating" just sounds silly to me. Like, let's be friends first for awhile. "Dating" puts sex in play on some kind of level. No one can think straight after that addiction starts. So, friends-first for me, and dating apps are not the kind of environment where I can find nerdy interesting friends without extra baggage and expectations.

The tinder one is though. Someone being on tinder doesn't tell you anything about that person. Only that they're looking for either a partner or casual sex.

Reasonable preferences stated in the form of red flags are still red flags.

I think the real issues here are:

1. Making obesity your top concern just shows that the most important thing to you is a woman's looks. That's a red flag that other things aren't as important.
2. Making single moms a dealbreaker is somewhat derogatory. If you don't want kids, make that your requirement, but a lot of men out there are really saying "I don't want to raise another man's kid", which is another red flag of toxic masculinity.
3. The "not on dating apps" requirement does seem to stem from the paranoia that women on dating apps are sluts (another toxic red flag), but that's some self-hate right there. Pretty much every single woman is using dating apps because that's how people date these days. If Tinder is a dealbreaker, you're gonna die alone.

So basically, if you're a woman, and you hear a guy list these requirements, what you really hear is:

1. Hot girls only, my sexual satisfaction is of the highest priority.
2. I need to pretend you are a virgin, so I want to see no evidence that you existed as a sexual person before dating me, otherwise my ego will collapse.
3. I hate women and think they're sluts, so you better not have any qualities that I arbitrarily associate with promiscuity. See also: #2 about how I need to feel like I'm fucking a virgin. Also #1 where she better be hot.

Honestly, I would judge any woman that dated a man this trashy.