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Can I lick it? (mander.xyz)
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[-] dojan@lemmy.world 118 points 1 year ago

I wanted to tell a joke here, but all the good jokes argon.

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago

That was such a noble thing to admit.

[-] lseif@sopuli.xyz 37 points 1 year ago

it didnt get a reaction out of me

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

You could say you were inert to my attempt at humor.

[-] Skanky@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

The original joke was pure Gold, but these later ones are just Boron me

[-] NotSpez@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago
[-] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 1 year ago

I was going to tell a sodium joke, but Na.

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[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 103 points 1 year ago

We can't lick sodium or chlorine, but combine them and you get something we literally make blocks of for the purpose of licking. What a world!

[-] randomthin2332@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

This is like the nile red videos where hes like "plastic gloves are essentially grape fruit" and then proceeds to make it.

[-] brian@lemmy.ml 70 points 1 year ago

But does this imply licking it in a "lickable" state? I have a hard time imagining licking a gas, and licking hydrogen as a liquid at -250 C or so sounds, not great.

[-] wahming@monyet.cc 43 points 1 year ago

Depending on the quantity and the leidenfrost effect, you might be fine

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[-] Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's hilarious because me and my brother licked lead fishing weights for fun as a child. It's probably why I'm retarded.

Can someone make one for suitability as dildo material?

Edit: Here it is, chumps

How is bromine "probably fine"? It should be in the rectal damage section.

Calcium should probably be in the "Ow, my ass" section.

[-] Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There are a bunch wrong. Feel free to go crazy with it.

Edit: NEW VERSION IS UP Yay

Better, but still a few issues.

Promethium, radium, curium, and Californium are all radioactive enough to cause rectal damage. Conversely, I don't think phosphorus (black or red) or selenium are reactive enough to cause much harm.

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[-] olutukko@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

awesome contribution

[-] multifariace@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

A nobel prize would be given to a lot more of those. Especially those naturally brittle or liquid.

[-] Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I guess it's only implied but any liquid is inserted as a solid - e.i. below its melting point. It's assumed anything crumbly has a suitable binding agent.

A few of them are definitely wrong as has been pointed out to me but I'm glad we're all learning about science!

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[-] xkforce@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Lithium, Sodium etc. need to be upped to "please reconsider." Calcium and all the lanthanides are also metals I would not advise licking because theyre very reactive. Promethium is especially dangerous due to its radioactivity with its longest lived isotope having a half life of around 17 years. So not only is it reactive, youd die to the radiation too.

[-] atomicorange@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Lithium is just gonna be a little fizzy like pop rocks. No explosions, thankfully. The LiOH produced would not be fun for you, but probably won’t hurt anyone else.

[-] xkforce@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Lithium salts are used to treat bipolar. The metal isnt just reacting with the water on your tongue to create a very strong base (and lots of heat), you are also going to be ingesting that Lithium (as a lithium soap as it reacts with oils and fats) which can have different (unpleasant) effects on you depending on how much was ingested. If your kidney function is impaired, it gets worse.

[-] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 1 year ago

Please don't lick elemental hydrogen.

[-] thegreenguy@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 year ago

Out of curiosity, what would happen if you do?

[-] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 1 year ago

In the hypothetical, if one were able to lick elemental hydrogen in its atomic, rather than molecular form, it would have a few potential effects. The one that would concern me most would be its aggressive reactivity, ripping hydrogens away from anything that it could in order to achieve stability. This would potentially cause tissue damage both from the deprotonation and shift in pH.

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[-] Arcity@feddit.nl 11 points 1 year ago

Nothing, because you can have only one atom of it. Multiple will just form molecular hydrogen H2. That one hydrogen atom will aggressively rip of another hydrogen of a molecule of water for example, but it won't be noticeable.

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

I'd bump up cesium, rubidium, and probably potassium to "please reconsider", as I would not want to stand near you

[-] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

A decent chunk of these are "how would you even?" and a few others are "you're doing it right now."

[-] lledrtx@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago
[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Yes you can!

[-] mlg@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

Instructions unclear for isotopes

What if I want to lick U-235?

[-] mathterdark@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Can I lick it?

Green - yes, you can!

Yellow, Red, Purple - no, you can’t!

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[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

But Lead tastes so good!

I wonder what metallic Sodium tastes like...

[-] becausechemistry@lemm.ee 18 points 1 year ago

It tastes like hot hydrogen gas (that will quickly mix with oxygen and taste like superheated steam).

If that doesn’t get ya, it would taste like sodium hydroxide, and also soap. (The soap is from the hydroxide turning the fats in your cells into soap.)

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[-] bahbah23@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

It tastes like pain.

[-] deus@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

They're all lickable, it's just that some you can only lick once.

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[-] Wilzax@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I think licking pure uranium is worse for your health than licking pure chlorine gas

[-] Liz@midwest.social 15 points 1 year ago

I think the assumption with the chlorine is that you end up inhaling it and dying fairly quickly. Licking uranium isn't a great idea, but you might not ever have noticable effects, even long term, if very little comes off onto your tongue. I know people who have accidently tasted plutonium in solution.

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago

I dunno, if that gasses are in a state where they're able to be licked, they'd mess you up pretty bad

[-] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 14 points 1 year ago

I'd say downgrade Mercury to yellow. Licking Mercury won't hurt you as long as you hold your breath.

Having it close to your breathy parts is always not a great idea though.

[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd sooner lick plutonium than mercury.

Edit: well, maybe plutonium oxide now that I think about it. Elemental plutonium is a bit too reactive

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[-] doubtingtammy@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago

I'm gonna lick Ununennium and you can't stop me

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

There aren't any unun* elements on the visible table anymore; they gave them all names.

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[-] bahbah23@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I would avoid licking zinc. It's a necessary nutrient but it doesn't take much to mess your stomach up.

[-] ursakhiin@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago

My lead sandwich is calling to me

[-] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 year ago
[-] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago
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this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
806 points (100.0% liked)

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