26
submitted 7 months ago by onevia to c/trans

Been a while since I've posted here but missed you all!

I'd love for this to be a discussion question, but also I am legitimately asking.

I have a beautiful son who helped crack my egg when he was born. But I'm still struggling understanding what being a mom means other than "just how I feel"

I never had good blueprints for being a father or mother so all I know is generally "how to be a parent"

But I'm curious to those of you that have children. What does being a mother mean to you? What does being a father mean to you?

Thank you

-Liv

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] onevia 5 points 7 months ago

Thank you for your response ❤️🥹

My son is 21 months old and his birth was a catalyst for my egg crack.

Ever since he was born I parented as my authentic self (whether I realized that at the time or not) so largely my parenting has been just that. Being the best parent I can be.

My wife and I were talking earlier today and we both for some reason are having a hard time seeing me as a "mom" but also not as a "dad" Somewhere in between, but in all other aspects we both see me as a woman. Dysphoria withstanding.

I'm not saying I feel like the parental roles should be different per se, that doesn't make sense to me. I view it as a full partnership and gender doesn't play a part.

But then on the other hand I feel like I'm taking something away from my son by feeling more and more disconnected from "daddy" and more connected to "something else" Like I don't deserve the title of mom or dad but something else. I desperately want to be mom but I love hearing my son run up to me yelling dada!. It warms my heart because that is his sound for me. For our special connection we share....

I think at the end of the day, I have some internal transphobia to work through because this is the one area of my transition where I have this sense of being a "trespasser" Being a mother has always been a dream of mine even when I didn't have the words for it. So why don't I feel like I am a mother? When in all aspects of life I am living as my authentic self.

😓

Anyways, thank you for coming to my Ted talk :)

this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
26 points (100.0% liked)

Trans

768 readers
3 users here now

General trans community.

Rules:

  1. Follow all blahaj.zone rules

  2. All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.

  3. Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.

Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/

[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on

founded 9 months ago
MODERATORS