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What is something you wish cis people understood?
(self.trans)
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this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
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I'm Agender and I've also heard the opposite of your statement at the end, especially from my mum. ' NOBODY cares much about their gender! What you're describing is just being NoRmAl!' There's not thinking much about your identity because you're cis in a cisnormative society, and then there's doing a LOT of soul searching and then strongly feeling that you lack a gender identity and would like to be seen as genderless by others. I know there's different ways to be Agender but the latter is me.
I've heard this exact same phrasing in response to my being ADHD. Funny how that works with people.
Same, lol. I think it boils down to yes, a lot of people can relate to aspects of being trans or even ADHD, but there is a certain threshold where action needs to be taken.
Most people can relate to lack of motivation or ability to focus from time to time, but when I don't take my ADHD meds, that is me all the time regardless of circumstances. I needed help in managing the ADHD.
Most people can relate to enjoying hobbies or mannerisms or expression that are socially tagged as of a different gender, but being trans means that you inherently are of another gender and have a need to express differently than society expects.
It's a deeper level for both situations and just because a cis person (or neurotypical person) can relate to the surface level in some way does not invalidate the deeper feelings and experiences of another.
That probably is why I got so angry when my step mom said "well, why can't you just be a feminine guy, isn't that enough?"
No, because I am not a man. It has nothing to do with femininity and everything to do with my identity. Exploring my feminine side is how I find my authentic self.
Well put.
Very annoying when people just kinda assume nocritter else experiences anything differently from how they do :| "Oh yeah, everyone's like that!" But no, actually :-\