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created a community for harmreduction purposes
(self.trans)
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this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
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As someone who's struggled with something similar, routine is a godsend. I highly recommend joining some kind of club, class, or event that's once every week or so. It's a lot easier to make yourself socialize if you get into a routine. Plus, you might meet some cool people.
Force yourself to go at least once to something interesting. Just once. If you don't like the vibe, you can zip on out of there, but you'll have made an attempt, which is much better than nothing. If you like it, then you've got something you can look forward to and is predictable.
I promise you, even if you feel meh about the people, socialization is going to help you feel better. Human brains are hardwired to be social, and will give you the happy chemical for doing it. As hard as it is, the people telling you to socialize more are right. I learned it the hard way.
Thank you. I feel like I'm at a point where I've worked really hard to learn about myself and I work really hard to engage in things and get value out of them that... Yea I'm ready to put the effort into creating routine and trying social situations that I might not like.
For sure. I have my weekly therapy appointments, one for mental health and one for voice. And the mood lift I get just from seeing a familiar face, being outside, conversing, it's remarkable... if short-lived. Once I return to my dungeon of a home, I'm down again.
Same at work, I made a friend recently and we talked every chance we got -- until I was off work and she transferred.
So I know for a fact that routine socialization helps me.
What honestly scares me off about new experiences is all the negativity I feel when comparing myself to others. Always in my mind, I can't compare, I'm just not good enough (I know, it's not true). I wish I could be social like them, beautiful like them, talented like them, belong like them.
And I'm not good with nonverbal cues and communication. I think I give the wrong vibes sometimes, and misinterpret others. I find people... very confusing.
I dunno if this'll help, but almost everyone you compare yourself to doesn't have all their shit together and are trying to figure things out too. Nobody's got a perfect life, some are just better at hiding it than others.
Also, see if you can sniff out some other neurodivergent people. My best friendships have come from neurodivergent people. Might be easier to navigate friendships that way.
That is what my therapist says. It's true, and it's rational way of looking at things.
But damn. When I think about living alone, and I see and hear so many people who live with their s/o or roommates, I don't care in how many other ways their life may be a dumpster fire. Some needs are just basic and common to practically everyone (even if they don't realize that). Just one example - my life has many... deficiencies.
I'm working on it. Tomorrow I meet a local trans woman who I might move in with as a roommate <3