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submitted 1 day ago by Xenia to c/trans

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

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[-] ncc21166 7 points 1 day ago

Whirlwind of a week! Spent it with my in-laws. We ran a race this weekend, and I wore my pride socks in public for the first time. The person in front of me at the starting line was wearing a progress pride flag as a cape, and I said "thank you". My sister-in-law clued in and was asking my spouse what was going on while they ran, so after I set a new PR I came out to her. "Ok, as long as you're happy" was almost immediately followed by the gobsmacked " omg, you must be really upset with things right now". So I guess that's a win. It was nice being in a public place where I didn't constantly hear hateful gibberish and saw people openly being themselves (including employees; those butterfly earrings were gorgeous!) so a good trip in all. My spouse's parents still don't know, though. One week at a time!

On another note, nobody told me voice training was going to be this bad. Yes, I followed the guides and the videos. I also see a professional. The LPR damage is making it very difficult, though!

[-] dandelion 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

yes, voice training is so difficult, lol - but honestly somewhere around 6 - 8 months of intensive practice I managed to break through and it got a lot easier - I think it's harder to get my brain to actually coordinate a feminine voice at first than it is later to habituate a feminine voice with practice, so basically it gets easier over time, just very slowly. Still, a year goes by and it's a radically different place than where you started.

I fully expected to not having a passing voice maybe ever, or maybe not without 5+ years of training. I was surprised when my voice therapist had nothing left to help me with and I graduated within a year, and when I started to pass on the phone and in public with ease. It's still not real to me, and my voice is one of my greatest sources of dysphoria - but my goals were to pass with a natural sounding female voice, not necessarily to resolve voice dysphoria (which might require more extreme feminization, ironically to the point where it comes across as too young or out of place to most people's ears - dysphoria is a brain worm that distorts perception).

this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2025
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General trans community.

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Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/

[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

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