i just want to be held by safe people who remember what they did to us in the past. someone who'll cry with me, still.

HIhi I just found this community exists, sadly it isn't more active, but is probably a better place for my question. Maybe some introduction first because as with these things it's a bit of a long story, and no one here really knows a thing about me (I think).. here goes..

I was a pretty normal kid, I thought. I was born (with pneumonia, apparently) in another state but moved when I was one to a pretty small (poor) suburb in my home state, it was a nice neighborhood though with a room to play and ride bikes and I had two good friends there. I had an older brother by 4 years who I really looked up to and I had a sister who was just a year and a half older than me, so I didn't get to be the baby for very long. I suspect that's a root issue but anyways. I got along with basically everyone, was a class clown. I had some early signs in growing up that now I laugh and look back on. The earliest I remember is probably dancing with my sister in her dance leotards, putting on shows for the family at holidays, I liked all the sparkly sequin costumes lol. A bit later I was doing like the girls and had pictures of Cory Haim and Cory Feldman from Tiger Beat on my walls, I had (literally) a whole arm of jelly bracelets on a field trip. It all came crashing down when puberty hit though. I was forced to pick a side. The guys were all talking about getting under girls shirts and into girls pants and here I just wanted to cuddle, even when presented with the chance I basically froze. I had my first homosexual experience at a sleepover at my house, when me and another boy were playing with each other over our underwear while the other boys slept which I really can't believe we did now because it was so risky, I wanted to take our underpants off but he did not. Another time we were over at his home and had competitions over who had the nicest hard on, we really tried to sell each other on the specifics of our respective penises. This sleepover was also the first time I heard NWA which was cool. We would buy bootleg rap cassettes at the flea market which was new and exciting.

I went from the insulation of a Catholic grade school to a Public high school and literally no one talked to me that I knew, it was like we were all on our own or something. I made friends with some metal heads which were the closest kin I could find at the time and they basically accepted anyone, though I had just mostly passed my metal phase and was working my way into industrial. I got into a lot of trouble with them; we robbed a parked beer truck, lit an ice shanty on fire, they broke into the corner gas station for a bunch of cartons of cigarettes, we would smoke inside of the school trying to dodge the gym teachers who assigned themselves to monitor the bathrooms. I smoked my first weed during the Rodney King walk out our high school attempted. Luckily over the summer, I had a friend from my neighborhood who I grew up with introduce me to the wonderful world of BBSs. I met some fabulous people there, I went to meetups, smoked a ton of weed, did a bunch of acid and mushrooms later on, was friends with people in the weekly live cast of Rocky Horror PIcture Show which we went to all the time (our city has the longest running RHPS midnight show, so it's got that going for it, which is good). I joined my friends Unitarian church instead of going to my parents Catholic church, so I could cuddle with the girls on the couch they had in the youth room haha. I had some more girlfriends interspersed but was never really interested in sex with them thus it never happened. I got into the rave scene and that took off, more drugs MDA, MDMA, 2CB, I helped put on a rave in a barn that we had to clean out, I saw the first Daft Punk show in the US in a muddy campground in Wisconsin, I saw Aphex Twin the year before that and the promoter was arrested for dancing naked on the speakers if I recall. That party had a very powerful giant argon laser projecting into the sky that you could see for miles around, and it was right in the middle of Amish farm country. We got a lot of visits from the local sheriff and the music stopped a few times but the party never got shut down. I went to a local diner on mescaline which was a blast. I suspect some folks there still think aliens landed in their town that weekend.

Eventually I did find a girlfriend, or rather she found me I suppose because the first time we had sex it was all her but it was alright I guess. I remember one time I made her mad and I went to pick some lingerie up to smooth things over, I ended up trying it on and I think I liked it more than she did, it was fun to shop for anyways. One time my car blew up in her driveway, it literally started on fire because I drove it to her house with a cracked engine block and it melted to the driveway, it was a complete wreck by the time the fire department got there, the neighbors must have called because we didn't even notice we were busy having sex. Her mom was so mad.

After high school and that singular girlfriend that lasted about a year I was just adrift. I began losing my hair in my early 20s and it was gone off the top of my head by the mid 20s. It was really quite devastating, all through my youth I was praised for my golden locks, little old ladies would touch my head for good luck. In my teens and later I envied the guys with longer hair and always planned to grow it out and now that was gone from the table, FOREVER, I guess I just shut that whole part of my brain off because I just got a shitty job and became an alcoholic and didn't even think about sex really. I masturbated sometimes, I looked at porn. I had a large JAV collection at one point. I didn't care about the censoring at all because I was mainly just watching and envying the girls bodies. I had some warehouse jobs and grocery jobs. My alcoholism finally got so bad that when I got a (small) check after my grandmother's passing, I quit and figured I would just drink myself to death because there was nothing else to do. I had started drinking years earlier and was drinking about a liter of vodka a day at that point, when I finally was checked into the hospital at the emergency room I was under 100 pounds and couldn't eat solid food for weeks. I had missed my weekly laundry and Dad came to check in with me and dragged me to the hospital. I got sober from alcohol. I went to school a few times, I got my A+, Network+, MCSA, I got an associates in web development where I learned Javascript, PHP, Java and SQL. Several times I could have got a decent job or career going but something was holding me back from being happy and succeeding and I could not put my finger on it because at that point I had been celibate for like 20 years. After I sobered up from alcohol I got addicted to phenibut for several years, taking many grams at a time (I know this is funny for our Russian readers since it's so common there) but it's a powerful GABA drug, and very addictive when taken as such. I went on and on with that and tianeptine and other things to try to float me by. It turned me into an absolute zombie which I guess was the idea, I never danced at either of my sisters weddings and it kills me because I love them so much and I love dancing so much :( They still don't know the reason.

Several years ago I finally sobered up enough to get another job at another warehouse and I was okay at that job for a while, I worked really hard, that's where I built up enough money to fun my music gear, working overtime and holidays. I got to what I thought was the pinnacle of my life, having a big room full of stuff, it was quite a sight to behold fully loaded, I made a bunch of weird music and things were going good for a while, but then I STILL WAS NOT HAPPY. Wow, that's weird huh, why wouldn't I be happy after 30 years of being alone? My dad also got sick during this time with skin cancer, and passed soon after because it was quite aggressive, he was a life guard as a teen and just baked in the sun all day, and we would be outside a lot as kids too. I am a bit concerned about my own skin. We were never super close, both of my parents had very cold parents so they never talked about emotions or anything like that, which I would later learn is a very big problem for me since I am such a sensitive little bitch lol. I never opened up to them about anything, they rarely asked about me and only once resorted to sending me to a therapist. So I had what I can only describe as a complete meltdown where I had no energy at all for about a year, during which I've had to sell a bunch of stuff I worked really hard for off to pay bills. It's all just stuff after all anyways, if it wasn't doing anything for me I didn't care. It did keep me alive for a while though and for that I am eternally grateful. Now I am here at 48, I have not taken good care of myself because I didn't care about myself. My teeth are an absolute nightmare, my liver and kidneys are probably shot, I have to be much more careful with what I eat because a lot of things don't agree with me. I haven't been to a physician in over 30 years save for the three times I was admitted to the hospital from the emergency room. I have this low grade anxiety all the time. I think I have had undiagnosed ADHD and possibly autism since I was a child that I have had zero support with from anyone and now to top it off, I am finally admitting to myself that all the times in my life that I said that I wish men's clothes could be more colorful or that they had more variety or that such and such, what I really meant was I wish I could be wearing those clothes instead.

I'm not sure if you have seen the movie Doctor Sleep, but I feel like that is what I did with my gender and sexuality in my mind. I just erased it from the equation and went on auto pilot, which I suspect is more common than one thinks, or maybe I am just trying to make myself feel better, I dunno. What I do know is that now I feel comfortable acting feminine, dressing feminine, feeling feminine(?), I am not sure how far I will go right now but I just know I feel right and I feel a lot happier and more fulfilled in my interactions. Now I just look back and each time I think of something new that I did that should have made it obvious to me that I was trans or at least nonbinary, with the amount of time it's been I can't but help but feel like the world's biggest idiot for being so oblivious.

I'm 48, I know it's a bit older than the median age here, and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Should I not comment on picture posts? I am not here looking to pick anyone up, so if someone my age commenting on your post makes you uncomfortable let me know. I am just here to show love and support my fellow trans gals and guys. If this is a weird question too I'm sorry I'm new to the world lol. As an adjunct to that, is it weird for me to post a body shot(s) in the trans joy area? I know I'm probably being too overly concerned but I don't want to do anything stupid because I'm pretty good at that

Wow that went on way longer than I intended ugh I hope I did the right thing. If you made it this far I appreciate you and love you for spending all the time on me to read that. Be kind in your comments please, thanks so much ❤️

This is my story and it is 100% true and it took a long time to type and now I'm thinking maybe I should write a book because there's a lot more 🤪

It isn't mother's day where I live or where I'm from, but my partner is American. She knows I'm trans but still sees herself as the mother and deserving of all the mothers day things like breakfast in bed and freedom from domestic chores for the day etc (At least that's what I did for my mother growing up).

Problem is that she suffers from chronic pain and I make her breakfast in bed every day and do all the cooking, cleaning, etc every day. I change all the nappies, apply all the plasters to cuts, take the kids to every doctor/dentist appointment, do all the shopping, go to all the PTA meetings, as well as trying to make her as comfortable as possible throughout the day.

That isn't even the main issue though. The children still see me as "dad". Not their fault, I haven't said anything to them about being trans (I have my reasons). But, they also see me as a source of infinite work and refuse to do anything at all about picking up after themselves. So my workload doesn't change for anything. I'm constantly cleaning and tidying, making food, etc.

When I ask them to put the stuff they used for making mother's day cards for their "actual mother" (who, to reiterate, doesn't really do any actual mothering), they just make the place messier and refuse to do anything to help. I managed to make the 6 year old put her pens away but it took 20 minutes of continuous nagging for her to start. And then she half-arsed it and left a bunch of the pens lying around the living room floor.

I don't need anything like cards or cake or anything like that, but it would be nice if people weren't trying to make my task impossible. I'm one person and nobody acknowledges my contribution.

It feels really shitty.

I think that the summary of their opinions right now is that my mom is unsure but open to it while my dad is pretty stubbornly against it.

My dad is not against all trans people. He's had almost 4 years to come to terms with my intersex trans girlfriend (now fiancé). But he has some pretty transphobic views from the Christian and conservative media he consumed. I think he will probably come around eventually, but it's a painfully slow process, especially because a lot of it is just waiting for him to read and respond to my messages.

It's really weighing on my mind a lot these days. I really hope that it will turn out okay, and hopefully sooner than later. Although, at least my girlfriend's family has been very supportive, so I will have them either way.

My partner offered to do my makeup today. I was excited both because she's been iffy on the whole transition thing and because she's very good at doing her own makeup and I was excited to get some instruction.

I've always thought I look young for my age and fairly attractive (if you're into mountain men) so I was cautiously optimistic about the results. But when she was done I looked in the mirror and my first thought was: shit, I hope Napoleon comes through that door and puts me out of my misery. I looked like an old french duke or a sad theatre queen in a Christmas pantomime.

Without the makeup I looked around 5 years younger than my age, but with it I looked easily 25 years older. My eyelids especially looked like poorly tanned leather. I know estrogen is amazing for your skin, but Jesus Christ does it have some heavy fucking lifting to do.

I came out as trans to my partner a short while ago. She's bisexual and I figured she would probably be uncomfortable at first and then come around to the idea once I'd ironed out some of the details of how I planned to transition and gave her some time to acclimatise.

However, it turns out she's bisexual not biromantic and has additionally never found trans women attractive (despite having trans friends and at least two exs that came out as trans after the fact). When i told her what i want from medical transition she said that the thought of me changing anything about my appearance made her really sad and that she didn't think she would be able to find me attractive.

She likes my beard, body hair, voice, and overall shape. Precisely the things that are the biggest source of dysphoria for me. And while I don't have any genital related dysphoria, she's been reading about shrinkage due to estrogen and is 100% not ok with it. I'm not saying she's a size queen, but she wants it fully functional and at full capacity, I'm ok with giving her that if it were possible but it'd be more for her than me.

I know I really want to start hrt ASAP, but at the same time I can't deal with loosing her. We have a family together and she has helped me through some very difficult and dark times in my past. We are living thousands of km from our families and neither of us can afford to raise the kids on our own. I have no friends because of moving around a lot and family obligations. Aside for my love for her, I can't go through transition without an understanding adult in my life (IRL) who I can lean on when things get difficult.

She keeps saying that she wouldn't feel right trying to prevent me from doing it, but the thought of not being with her is crippling.

What do I do?

How have you all coped with the early stages of medical and social transition? I'm in an in-between stage where I'm going to seriously start failing at boymode soon. I hate my old, gravelly, dysphoric voice and avoid it at all costs. I can't avoid certain undergarments at this point either, because a lack of support is a bit painful. I'm in the unfortunate position of not being able to even run errands because my ex-coworkers all go to the same local places and I'm not publicly out in my industry yet. The flip side is that if I went for femme-presenting, I'm quite visibly trans and it's entirely my face. There isn't much to do about that for some time yet.

I'm wondering how others go about finding a balance for being themselves, getting through a day, and not having to have this constant internal and external struggle of "who am I today?".

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/28783084

How trying to define ourselves or others define us by assigned sex at birth doesn't serve us and is generally oppressive and incorrect, both scientifically and socially.

admitted to self at 38, socially transitioned for a year, 6 or so years on hormones and nhs waiting list, operation was yesterday. so happy, (but a little ouchie)

I've purchased my estrogen HRT via DIY means thanks to the support of communities like this on Lemmy and on the chat.blahaj.zone Matrix server. diyhrt.info was a great starter guide and I feel confident in what I need to do. At this point, it's just waiting for EEn to show up at a PO Box and purchasing the accessory equipment (needles, sharp boxes, etc.).

I'm 32 years old and I'm tired of living in a body that doesn't reflect who I am so I'm going to try and make a change. Once my wife and I worked it out (as much as any couple in this situation can work it out), I had a hard time actually committing. I sat on this decision for a bit. It's not easy to commit to potentially irreversible bodily changes, but I'm confident that I want them. I'd be lying if the concept didn't scare me a little though. I want to be pretty. I just want to be myself. I wish there was a telescope I could look through that would show me my future.

If I didn't have conservative family, friends, community, and work, I'd be over the moon right now. But there is a part of me that's afraid of the fallout I'll be fielding for the (*checks political climate*) rest of my life.

All that being said, there's a much larger part of me that's excited! I'm looking forward to being myself - regardless of what others think. All of you are absolute icons for being the first ones to take those steps and to support people like me. If I didn't find communities like this (and lurk on them) for years, I never would have made it to the other side. I appreciate your advice, comments, support, and honesty as I've flooded this community with my posts.

Hi, everyone! I’m at the very beginning of my journey, having only recently cracked my egg and realized I’m trans. I’m still mostly closeted, having only come out to my wife, a few select friends, and my therapist. My biggest concerns thus far are centered around my wife and our son (about to be entering middle school next year).

I have no doubts about who I am and who I want to be, but I’m not really sure how to move forward in a way that minimizes the upheaval for them. My wife is cis and has always considered herself straight, so she’s unsurprisingly having some difficulty with labels and fears for the future, though she’s also trying to be supportive. But she’s also feeding into some of my own fears, and stressing the potential impact not only on our lives, but on our son, too. She’s also repeatedly expressed concerns that I’m going to want to move faster than what she’s comfortable with (even if that’s not fast at all).

Anyone who’s been through similar on their journey, I’d love to hear your perspective and how you managed to handle it to continue on your journey. I know I’m not alone, but it’s a challenge and any suggestions on how to avoid pitfalls are more than welcome!

I'm currently waiting in line with a truck full of 12"x12"x10' wood beams (yes, they are huge and heavy) that I have to unload at a free dump site that pops up once a quarter. I have an hour to kill. I'm a little bored so I'm on the internet.

I'd love to hear something positive from any Trans Later members.

I've done some preliminary research on this topic, but – crucially – I don't have a gym available to me. I originally thought I should just start running to lose weight, but some people say running can be bad if you're trying to form a feminine physique. I think their claim was: you lose weight, but you might also lose fat/muscle where you want it.

So, what are you folks doing?

• Yoga?
  • What kind of yoga and where do you source the education materials?
• At home workouts?
  • Are body weight squats enough?
  • What about glutes?

What about diet? Do y'all drink alcohol at all? I typically eat vegan (80% of the time). How do you manage your diet?

My post history has some context for people who are curious or just don't know what I'm talking about.

Recap TL;DR: I came out to my wife and she was afraid that if I transitioned she would stop being attracted to me. Since I was afraid of divorce, I decided I'd hold off on transitioning indefinitely.

Since then, my wife and I have been bouncing all over the map this week. She was freaked out initially, but then she flipped to being ok with me transitioning - with the caveat that she might not be attracted to me, but she'll always love me. With that in mind, I felt comfortable looking at what transitioning might really look like.

One reason I wouldn't ~~transition~~ start HRT* anytime soon is fertility. I want more kids. I love my child and I want 1-2 more (as was always my marriage's life plan). I know freezing sperm is an option, but in-vitro is so expensive I don't know if we would want to try it. I realize kids are far more expensive than in-vitro, but my wife and I have budgeted for kids - not kids + in-vitro. We have plans to fix up our house, retire early, etc. So I don't want to put undue stress on those plans. We are considering freezing sperm, but not very seriously.

Also, based on some messages I got from users, it seems like having kids prior to transitioning is a contentious concept? I didn't expect that, but some people (mostly in DMs) seemed angry that I didn't know I was trans until after I had my first kid. I think those perspectives are related to divorce since divorce does produce worse outcomes for kids (generally not always). I guess I'm inviting people to come here and elaborate on their thoughts about that.

Anyways, I struggled to hear the harsher words from some people, but I also think they were well-founded. They were a gut-punch that made me reorient my thinking away from selfish thoughts about myself and more about my family and how my choices impact them.

I built up transitioning in my mind. I was feeling a strong sense of dysphoria. I assumed my wife would be ok with it (since we are already inhabiting stereotypical reversed-gender roles in almost every aspect of life). I assumed it wouldn't impact my fertility so quickly/drastically. I thought I was a month or two away from starting HRT. But the more I research it, the more I think I could be years away.

As an attempt to take this slower and more seriously, I have an appointment with a therapist today to start. It really should have been my first course of action anyways. It's possible I could start transitioning with non-hormonal techniques and maybe that's enough for me. If so, that would be ideal. My male physique wouldn't change too much and my wife would be happy about that. Maybe my dysphoria would go away. I've tried that in the past, but I didn't go "all-in" on it. I felt ugly and manly which bummed me out back then, but maybe I just didn't really accept myself and that was hindering the experience.

Generally speaking, I think I was just moving way too fast and unmeasured. I'm assuming that's common in "TransLater communities" because there is a lot of fear that the biological clock is stripping away my opportunity to meet my goals before it's too late. But that doesn't mean it's the right mentality. Plenty of people transition much later than I was planning and it works out fine. So, maybe that'll be my experience. Or maybe I'll never ~~transition~~ start HRT* due to the aforementioned options, therapy, etc. Who knows. I'm probably still going to be active in this community, if that's ok. I sure hate that my whole experience is practically the only thing in this community lol It's a bit embarrassing in a way. Please drown out my posts with some more positive stuff!

I'm a trans-woman. My wife is hetero-normative. She likes men. She isn't attracted to women. She likes some "effeminate" features: men with long hair, big butts, some minor make-up. But she - in her own words - likes the ineffable quality of masculinity.

As I've mentioned in other posts, my wife is politically as far left as one could go; trans ideologies are not foreign to her.

We have started "the big talk" last week and it started well. She was 100% supportive and was open to the idea of me transitioning. However, that was her knee-jerk reaction. As she's had time to mull on it, she's afraid she won't be attracted to me as I transition. She's worried that as my body/style changes, that she will lose her attraction to me. She's, frankly, not a lesbian.

We left the conversation in an uncomfortable place. It seems pretty clear that if I reached my transition goals, I would lose her. She really tried to not make that the ultimatum it sounds like, but I can read between the lines. We are both super open and we both love each other inside and out. My wife is just afraid that she won't be attracted to me anymore.

She's also afraid that I'll choose to not transition to protect our marriage. And her fears are well founded. I was thinking about starting hormones this year, but now I'm backing out quickly. To be honest, I'd rather never explore being trans than lose my wife. She's the best partner anyone could ask for. She provides love, support, fun, learning, etc. We also just started a family. I don't know what to say.

I know many of you are probably thinking that if I wait, I'll either be miserable or I'll eventually cave and transition later in life; at that point, we will have an even harder time in our marriage. That being said, my wife is leftist and open and open-hearted. She's willing to support me in trying out feminine things, but she's afraid hormones will make permanent changes that make me unattractive to her. So, maybe I can have the best of both worlds.

I have seen other people mention that they got a divorce and that was their solution. I think that's a valid solution for some people, but it's just not an option for me. I don't know how to explain it, but divorce seems far worse than any dysphoria I've experienced. I think that's the only way I can say it. I'd rather continue experiencing dysphoria than lose her.

So, is that my answer?

I'm not really expecting strangers on the internet to solve my marriage issues here. But I figured this little vent might resonate with some people and it might help others know they aren't alone.

I’ve been going to a personal trainer since the start of September and it’s been a life changing opportunity.

It’s a small fitness place, it’s run by two Agender individuals and one of the founders/owners is my personal trainer. The staff are all either neurodivergent, 2SLGBTQIA+, or both.

My Personal Trainer (let’s call them D) self described as agender, she/they, still is a mother, has a teenager with ASD and non-speaking and another kid who’s transgender with ASD. They themselves have ASD and are person no.2 whom told me to check if I was autistic as well (which I went and did, and ta-da I have AuDHD!)

D has helped immensely and among all of that it’s even just them holding space for me in their own chaotic life. They showed me all the trauma my body had gone through, especially with back surgery as a child with little/no after care in the long term and decades at that point of body-just-got-used-to-the-bad. Having been cheer captain in their younger years, I get told “no transfem is leaving this gym without a booty and boobs” and that’s not a joke.

Now, I’ve started rambling a little with sharing all this, but I do have a sincere point.

When I was starting out, I was very detached from my own body and taking care of it after years of neglect. Being traumatized does that to you. Being trans does that to you. Here I was, healing and growing and already well on my journey (with a few months on HRT at this point), but still having dysphoria and grief ruin my life.

We began tackling some of that, inspired by my toddler who was coming to workouts on some occasions, by going back and pretending to be a toddler. 4 specifically, but I’m not sure it matters as much (unless you want to be very accurate and match it with child neurological development timelines).

Putting away all the white colonial societal programming, my own experiences and knowledge, stopping my ego and fears of being cringe or something else….

Just be a kid.

If you were trans, you didn’t get to. Be a kid now. Act like one. Explore like one. Go in with no judgement like one.

You have to re-do your childhood. Speedrun it, obviously, but you have to let yourself do a lot of that stupid shit again, this time as the right gender. Question everything you’ve ever known or programmed yourself with, and go be a silly kid and laugh and have fun.

That’s how everyone does it, at 4. They just all got the perk of being cisgender and monkey see, monkey do worked for them.

Anyways I should be sleeping and should plan ahead more when I write, instead of impulsively starting a post past midnight when the kids are asleep and my high is wearing off and now I kinda want a snack…

🐰

I was wondering if anyone has advice or pointers for meeting up with transgender folx and allies in "meatspace". I see postings for events all the time, but they're either for youth (which is great, we need to protect trans kids and promote their growth and well being!), or they're mixers. I'm happily married, can't drink alcohol, and was never a "club" type of person. There doesn't seem to be much else other than support groups, and the one meeting I ever attended showed that I was certainly not the intended audience. In my hobbies, you don't meet people even though you're in a sea of them (running and cycling) and my job is fully remote and niche, so that's not really a mingle opportunity either. I feel like I'm overwhelming my spouse with conversation as soon as they get home from work. They've taken to calling it "pumpking spice" every time I do, in reference to the Last Week Tonight bit about pumpkin spice season taking over everything. I guess I'm just looking to find others to relate to and make some acquaintances, or even friends, of people who would actually understand me. In our age range, this feels like it's a very difficult thing to do.

I'm 30 years old (soon to be 31). I'm a new trans woman (still working through how I might accept it and see myself). I'm unsure how far I should go. I've spoken at some length on other communities about what it feels like to be "ugly and masc". I realize feeling like I can't "pass" as a fem is partly due to deeply rooted transphobia. I have what most older men have: masculine distribution of fat (bit of a belly), hairy everywhere, fears of balding (so far not yet), deepish voice, etc.

If I had no friends or family, I'd probably just go all in: hormone therapies, voice training, surgeries, etc. But I feel like I need to pass in front of my immediate family since I'm sure I wouldn't be accepted. I love them, but they wouldn't get it.

I don't know how far I should go with transitioning. I am currently considering growing out my hair, shaving, and trying to do exercises that conform my body to a more stereotypical feminine shape. Is there a lot of risk in hormone therapies and voice training? Is it hard to go "boy mode" after the fact? What about being 30+ years old and starting it? Should I just accept I'll never pass?

Eddie Izzard talks about growing up trans and coming out in the 80s at the 2022 Utah Equality Allies Gala.

I know you're out there! If you're part of /c/TransLater, make yourself heard!

Maybe some questions will help.

Tell us your name and where are you from? Maybe a bit about yourself

What do you enjoy spending your time on?

How have things been going as you navigate the combination of "Trans" and "Later" in your life?

What's a question you have for other folk in the sub?

New sub, not many active users yet, so time to get the ball rolling.

I'm Ada, mod for this group and admin for blahaj.zone and lemmy.blahaj.zone. For those of you that use Discord, I used to run the Translater discord server too, but I'm not active there anymore.

I'm rapidly closing in on 50 years of age, though I'm not quite there yet. I transitioned in 2017 when I was 41. I've got a non binary kiddo who has just officially reached adulthood themselves, which makes me feel really old.

My partner is @supakaity@lemmy.blahaj.zone/@supakaity@blahaj.zone, who, believe it or not, I met via reddit (may it rest in peace)

Photo description: A selfie of Ada, a white woman in her 40s. She is wearing makeup, and has styled dark curly hair and is wearing a sparkly blue/green dress. The background is greenery from a garden

Photo description: A selfie of Ada and Kaity, two white women in their 40s, sitting on a couch. They are both looking in to the camera, but their heads are leaning to touch each other, and both are smiling. Kaity is wearing a sparkly purple dress, and Ada is wearing a matching dress in blue/green