To preface.. For a long time I was incredibly unsure about my sexuality. I was an autistic "cis" woman who absolutely adored gay media (yes; I was a fujoshi) and I felt for a long time that I WAS queer but I didn't know exactly how; I felt like I was taking up space being in queer womens spaces so I seldom participated in them and that led to me never truly exploring my sexuality despite me knowing I only liked men. I always labeled myself as bisexual or on the ace spectrum when I was clearly aware those labels didn't fit me, just because I didn't know how to explain how I felt on the inside.

Now, I am 2+ years on testosterone, I have undergone top surgery and I am going to get my rhinoplasty in the next 6 months for a more masc face. I have never felt more happy in my life. I can actually bare to look at myself in the mirror, I can actually love my body and begin to explore parts of myself that were so ardently locked behind my dysphoria. It's like so many doors have opened for me and I realize that this is who I am, and that even though I am still am fairly new into medically transitioning I could TRULY never see myself in another way.

I love men more passionately now and I can appreciate masculinity more richly. I have never felt gayer in my life. I thank Lou Sullivan for all of his activism work to show that gay and lesbian trans people existed, and I am so happy to be a gay transgender man.

"I don't even know if there was anyone that's ever felt as I do.. how they coped, what they did...how do I find out what someone like me does?” ― Louis Graydon Sullivan, We Both Laughed in Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/35361786

if you have HRT Related queries or advice please check out !diyhrt@lemmy.blahaj.zone, an entire comm for HRT

Testosterone and it's link to aggression (or lack of thereof)

I found an article with many linked studies on how testosterone affects aggression. The article is centered around cis men with baseline low testosterone levels that started TRT, however, I do think this applies to transmasculine people as well. Posting this because even in trans communities this topic is misunderstood.

TL;DR: individuals with low testosterone levels at baseline that started TRT report decreased levels of aggression, fatigue, tension. Current studies don't report any changes of aggression on average, however, this may wary depending on personality profiles (for example: people with high dominance and low self control traits did become aggressive, but the testosterone itself is not the cause of the aggression)

https://www.trted.org/articles/myth-busting-series-testosterone-treatment-makes-you-aggressive

@ftm @trans

Some of my trans dude wins

I just remembered this community exists, though a bit dead, so let me write some of my life updates (and test if wafrn federates with lemmy well enough)

• Got endocrinologist after migrating to new country, turns out my T levels were very low, not changing the dosage yet, but will switch to Nebido and we'll see how it works

• My bros bought me a new binder that fits me very well! It's hard for me to breathe even in oversized binders though, so will wear only on special occasions. But I'm glad that I don't have to be a shrimp all the time

• Moustache is a bit more visible, like not really grown yet, especially considering my T levels and genetically not very lucky with facial hair, but I'm glad that at least it grows.

• Dysphoria induced dissociation when I look in the mirror has completely stopped. Also a huge win

@ftm

#ftm #transmasc #trans #transgender

how do i safely bind without a binder? i'm too scared to outwardly buy a binder because my transphobic family will find out and they most likely know what binders are and what they're used for. they will then probably call me a girl and say there's nothing wrong with my chest, but what can i use at home to flatten my chest? i don't have any sports bras that are smaller sized or anything, but i could probably borrow one from a friend or family member.

I don't need advice, I would appreciate if you just listened or provided your opinion but not telling me what to do or how to think, please.

I don't wanna focus too hard on labels or what others think, but I still do wonder for not just me, but for people like me.

I already know stuff like to break the bad habit of reducing myself to a label, which I am trying to do.

That's why, although there are many things that apply to me, like "autistic", "trans", "demiboy", etc. I will not go around saying these words to describe me all the time.

But anyway, I ranted about this yesterday and thought people wouldn't respond well for some reason, but the first thing I saw when I searched up "demiboy" was a person asking what a demiboy is.

The comments were full of people saying stuff like demiboys who are "assigned female at birth" are tomboys or just women who want to feel special.

I just wonder why people don't realize that trans men and nonbinary and anything in between is a valid, real thing and not just people who want to feel special.

There is also something I saw calling a gay trans man "hetero" on TikTok, when a gay trans man and a hetero woman are definitely different, as are lesbians and straight trans men, etc.

And people who are non-binary are valid, real, and genuinely don't want to feel special, but just don't feel strictly like male or female.

You can put your experiences in the comments, by the way.

I haven't gotten a binder in like 15 years or so, so I don't know where to find a binder online nowadays. I'm looking for something lightweight/breathable, durable and sensory-friendly, and ships to the US. Any good recommendations?

So far I've come across Wivov and Origami Customs, but I haven't ordered anything yet. Just wanna make sure I'm spending money on something I will be comfortable wearing.

I appreciate any help or advice!

Sometimes I go by they,

and also sometimes he

and also sometimes she

but also always me

i feel so much happier and can think more clearly since identifying as a demiboy!!!

how are ya??

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/32737264

Yayyy!!!

AFAB genderfluid here. You have very limited information, I know that, but whatever.

My dad came from a quite traditional family. He used to be transphobic himself and was a little weirded out when I came out as a boy on some days, but my mom was always open-minded and my dad learned to accept it.

His sister, on the other hand, never learned to accept it and stayed the same: supportive of me liking men and women, but seemingly not supportive of me being genderfluid.

One day, I said I was on my period, and she said "Boys don't get periods, so you're a girl". When I first came out, she said "Well I accept you no matter what my beautiful niece" and is always trying to get me to look and be more feminine. She tried to get me to wear a skirt a bit ago when I'm usually a guy, not a girl, and I also don't really like wearing skirts as a guy.

unfortunately, my family is not very accepting of trans people and hate "transness" so much that they'll suspect i'm trans just for asking for men's clothing.

Okay, I'm fully aware that people cannot decide for me if I'm cis or trans, but I definitely don't think this seems "cis" even if I may be in denial. After all, I feel like if I were just a woman, I'd feel like one all or most of the time and it wouldn't change.

In second or third grade, I really liked tomboy characters like Scout Finch. I had watched the movie based on the book, To Kill a Mockingbird. I identified as a tomboy and didn't want to wear dresses. However, not only this, but I wanted to hang out with only boys, not grow up to wear makeup, cut my hair short, do boys' sports, and be mistaken for a little boy. "Tomboy" was what I used because I didn't understand, but what I really remember wanting was to be a boy.

My favorite characters in media were usually men, such as Uncle Fester, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Truman from The Truman Show, etc.

At first, I thought what everyone else in my family did: I was a straight girl with fictional crushes on men. However, I started to imagine myself as them, try to fit my personality to be like them, and even imagine myself to have a penis. At twelve, it really felt like I had one.

I was also convinced for a part of my life as a child that I actually had a penis, just a really, really small one. I didn't want my boobs to grow either.

At thirteen, I started identifying as a trans guy called Mikey, only detransitioning due to having a transphobic girlfriend and the impact of our breakup affecting me too much.

Now, I'm questioning again. Some people see me as a feminine man. Others, a masculine woman. I am starting to see myself more as a feminine man.

Did anyone else go through anything similar as trans people? It might mean a lot about my identity to go through this, I think I might be trans.

Can you perhaps use that name in a sentence about me so I can "try that name on"? I decided when I feel masc (most of the time), Jaden will be my first name and Alexander will be my middle.

I’ve been on testosterone for a long time and pass pretty well.

There’s rumblings of potential bans for trans health care.

What would prohibit me from going to a low T clinic, pretending to be cis, and getting a script as a low T cis man?

Hello, I am looking to meet some other transmascs and/or FtMs and potentially even make a friend or two. I thought I'd ask some questions to get the ball rolling!

• What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe that gives you euphoria?
• Can you name one small thing you're looking forward to in your transition?
• What is your favorite animal, mythical creature, or cryptid?

Looking forward to seeing some responses!

Now, I’m nonbinary femme, but I remember talking to my aunt about being a boy and I told her I was having cramps when she one day, asked me why my stomach hurt.

She told me, “I thought you were a boy. Boys don’t get period cramps. I guess that makes you a girl all along.”

I wanna look really buff and strong but I also wanna look kinda feminine and cute :3

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/21928426

I spent so much of my life trying to shout my truth loud enough that no one could take it from me. I thought if I didn’t fight for every inch of who I am, the world would snatch it back while I slept. Maybe I wasn’t wrong. Maybe that fight was needed for me. But him? He doesn’t shout. He doesn’t bargain with the world for permission.

He just is.

He knows who he is in a way I never did. And in that calm, he’s teaching me a freedom I never thought possible: the freedom of not needing society’s permission.

Still, I am terrified. I watch laws get drafted by people who’ve never met him, never sat across from him at breakfast while he laughs about Pokémon or asks for more syrup. I watch grown adults spin cruel stories about kids like mine, and I want to roar, raise my fists, stand between him and a world that wants him small, hidden, undone.

He just shrugs. They can’t make me not me, he says.

He’s right. Laws can make his life harder, crueller, less safe, but they can’t strip him of who he is.

I saw and was upset by the way trans men are treated in some of the other trans spaces on this platform about a month ago, and it has been making me think about yall a lot. It made me do some introspection about my own experiences, and I realized that trans men were either not present or not visible in the male spaces I (a cis man) was part of growing up. I saw another meme about gender affirming male lonliness, and it hit me with a "bro, you're just like me" kinda vibe.

My conclusion is that like... I want to try to more proactively accept and advocate for trans men. This is somewhat hampered by the fact that ive never known any trans men well, and I dont really know much about your experience. Bluntly, I'm a bit ignorant and I'd like to change that. I've got a few questions that I'll list below, but also like I'd love it if you want to just say hi and chat and tell me about yourself. Anyway, here goes

1. Do you engage in or participate in traditional male spaces?

2. If yes to 1, are you open about being trans in these spaces? Do you feel excluded or discriminated against in these spaces due to being trans?

3. If no to 1, do you want to be part of these spaces?

Finally, I want to apologize if this post is offensive. I promise that is not my intent, and if i am being offensive it is purely out of ignorance. If you do find me offensive, I would hugely appreciate if you explained how and why I am being offensive so I can try to learn from it and do better in the future