First off, I didn't see anyone link the gender dysphoria bible in the comments, and it was absolutely massive for me to read. Linkie
As someone who just cracked her egg a few months ago, I can tell you talking to my wife was the biggest aid for me to figure out what I wanted. A lot of your experience aligns pretty closely to mine, so you're not alone there. My wife also thought she was bi, but without telling me, determined she was straight because only male me turned her on, but after I worked out that I was trans, she had to rethink her own sexuality and realized she's actually demi, because the idea of me as a woman still turns her on and nobody else does. I won't lie, it was a rough week for us, especially seeing as we're coming up on 10 years being together, and we're eachother's only adult relationship, so the possibility of our marriage ending was terrifying, and seemed like it might happen. Coming out was the most anxiety enducing experience of my 31 years on this planet, but I would do it again in an instant if I had to.
Miraculously, my wife and I wear the same size clothes despite a full foot difference in height, so she got me to try her clothes, which really helped cement in my mind that I wanted to dress feminine.
I was scared it was red flag girl until i read the other comments! Yayyy!