I've (also Canadian) heard it as "better than a kick in the pants"

"Big Dreams, Little Outcomes"

Or

"Sailing the Seas of Mediocrity" WARNING: Contents not as exciting as the title.

Maybe if a stick of celery didn't cost 11$, no one would need to steal it.

I don't believe for a second that organized crime is to blame, but again, if food was normal price, then there would be no resale black market for stolen groceries.

"I found something better, but I'm not able to divulge what it is at this time. "

Or

"You! You're the reason I'm quitting."

"I won the lottery! No, you can't have any."

Or, Give each of them a different reason and watch them go crazy trying to figure it out.

People who work in grocery stores/gas stations in affluent areas typically commute from less affluent areas.

I've heard from actual coworkers who live in San Francisco, that even high paying engineering jobs have trouble making rent without roommates or dual incomes. Do they choose to live there? Yes. Can they move further away? Also yes. Do they want to commute 2 hours each way every day? Probably not. Add in taking your kids to school, and suddenly, the choice you think they had is really no choice at all.

Technically, we all have the option to quit our jobs, find a track of land in the middle of nowhere, and live off-grid, but do we? No. Choices aren't as simple as "find somewhere else to live".

Cost of living is not the same as the cost of one's specific lifestyle.

"Cost of living data includes the expenses incurred for food, shelter, transportation, energy, clothing, education, healthcare, childcare, and entertainment. A cost of living index tracks how much basic expenses rise over time and among different regions."

19 years, 5 months, 21 days, 16 hours, and 23 minutes.

If the material world survived, living in a large city, I could probably scavenge for non-perishable foods for quite some time.

If it's a nuclear wasteland and I'm fending off mutants, I guess it depends on how many caps and nuka-cola I can find.

Congrats! You're human.

I feel the same way, but only for pre-cooked frozen foods. Not for baking, and nice dishes

The Cable Guy with Jim Carrey. I thought it was hilarious.

Nah, where I work (and where we all work, teally) we have legitimate confidential information about our customers... that the appropriate employees can access appropriately. That's not an abnormal use case.

Definitely has something to hide, especially if he's formatting his computer every time he has a "problem". Not that data can't be recovered after a format anyway.

"I don't want to live on this planet anymore!"

I actually have it on a t-shirt. It keeps getting truer every day.