[-] dandelion 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

NSFL jokein America enbies go to a different camp

[-] dandelion 50 points 2 months ago

I think it is about patriarchy, rather than capitalism - the man has the most, the woman has significantly less, and trans woman has the least.

This represents the respective privileges and power each group has in a patriarchal and transphobic society.

Under capitalism the power differences are between the owning class and the working class, which isn't really highlighted in the comic.

[-] dandelion 53 points 3 months ago

Every summer, the neighborhood throws its own smaller-scale LGBTQ+ Pride event separate from the city's main annual parade taking place this weekend.

It's just one of more than 200 Pride events taking place in Germany this year.

17 anti-LGBT protests against over 200 Pride events, in case anyone is looking for a "silver lining" to this story. ๐Ÿ˜Š

[-] dandelion 58 points 5 months ago

They assigned male at birth, they were wrong - oops.

[-] dandelion 53 points 6 months ago

maybe I'm just a pervert, but all that text is aggressively sexual

what I'm saying is I'm ready to take Dr. Reddy's hard, red pregabalin capsules

[-] dandelion 50 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

(EDIT: I should say, gender-affirming care is the number one way to alleviate dysphoria: hormone therapy, surgeries, hair removal, etc. should be prioritized and come first. My response assumes you are already on top of that.)

Some tips that have helped me:

  • get your eyebrows waxed initially by a professional, then use tweezers and pluck hairs every day to maintain - this can make a huge difference
  • if you wear glasses, choose women's glasses next time you get a new prescription
  • learn makeup and do it even if you aren't leaving the house, it can really help what you see in the mirror (I actually went to Sephora and paid for a class, this was really helpful - I was clueless, and they helped me color match and find products that actually work on me - expensive, but helpful)
  • wash and style hair, take good care of it (learn how to take care of your hair - this was a whole thing for me, I have curly hair and learning the Curly Girl Method was life-changing)
  • put on a cute outfit, again - even if you're not going anywhere, it feels nice to wear affirming clothes, so do it for yourself (plenty of trans women will wear a bra & panties even at home, when sleeping, or other times others might not normally wear them); also, learn how to dress well for your body shape (most of us are strawberry or apple), how to accentuate and emphasize the right parts (breasts, hips, butt) and diminish or hide the undesirable parts (broad shoulders, belly, flat chest, etc.)
  • get nails and toes done (gel lasts the longest in my experience), this has acted for me as a daily visual reminder of my femininity
  • for vocal dysphoria: hold the line, spend some time warming up and practicing the voice and then try hard to not let it fall back the rest of the day
  • maintain a daily skin routine: figure out your skin's tendencies, and at least get a good cleanser and moisturizer (might start with a Cerave cleanser and Cerave in the tub for moisturizing face before bed), and at bare minimum cleanse and moisturize your face before bed, and change your pillowcase once a week to help avoid bacterial breakouts; bonus points for using a good ceramide lotion on arms and legs, etc. (esp. where you get dry: knees, elbows, hands, and feet); also, start wearing sunscreen every day, esp. on your face, find a good cosmetic sunscreen you like (usually the good ones are from South Korea or Japan, e.g. I really liked Canmake's Mermaid Skin Gel, though they changed their formula)
  • prioritize hygiene, shower once a day and brush your teeth (some people rot, you will feel better if you look and smell nice - pick products that make you feel feminine, I love my lavender scented deodorant, and you can get fun body washes with scents you like)
  • go out, sometimes the way I felt best was when I forced myself to feminize fully to try to pass in social situations - I noticed on days when I left my house and actually moved through society as a woman were some of my happiest and least dysphoric days (even when very insecure), esp. when people referred to me as miss or ma'am. Early transition this can be harder when fewer people see you as a woman, but I still think it's good advice then, too. At the very least it forces you to do makeup and hair, etc. which helps.
  • when dysphoria mounts into a crisis of doubt or imposter syndrome that makes me start to want to detransition, I found it really helps to journal - sometimes it's good just to recall memories that remind you of why you are trans, but in my worst moments I found it helpful to engage in cold analysis: looking at what it means to be cis vs trans, what evidence there would be if I were a cis man vs a trans woman, and then comparing those to my experiences. Usually after a few pages of this kind of "objective analysis", I finally get the bigger picture and realize I really am trans.
  • see a therapist to help talk through your feelings, medication can also help (though HRT is often enough for a lot of women)
  • if you are on HRT, cycling your weight (i.e. slowly, over months, lose 1 - 2 lbs a week, and then intentionally slowly gain it back) can really help give you curves; if you're skinny, eat - boobs are curves are fat; if overweight, gradually lose weight to lose the "dad bod" (fat distributed at the neck, shoulders, and belly), but occasionally give yourself a plateau where you put a little weight back on, esp. in the first 3 - 6 months of HRT.
  • until you have significant hair removal, don't skip on shaving - I often would get exhausted from all the shaving and skip out on the weekend and it always made my dysphoria worse, don't underestimate the influence hair plays in your dysphoria like I did, shave!

Generally, dysphoria is not as bad for me when other things are going well, e.g. if I'm well hydrated, had a good night's sleep, and I'm eating healthy my skin tends to look softer and more feminine and is more likely to look "nice" to me. My mental health is also usually better, I'm less likely to spiral from insecurities and poor self esteem, and so on.

So, follow the basic steps of being healthy as well:

  • eat lots of diverse and healthy foods, including vegetables (avoid processed foods like frozen nuggets or pizza, prefer "whole" foods like baked sweet potatoes, beets, beans, rice, etc.); plenty of my mental health episodes are triggered by being dehydrated or hungry - keep on top of your needs!
  • drink lots of water (drink a glass when you wake up, keep water near you all day and remember to actually drink water, drink lots of water with your meals - digestion dehydrates!!, and eat lots of water-rich foods like cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.)
  • practice good sleep hygiene: go to bed & wake up at the same times, keep a strict-ish schedule and make sure you give yourself ample sleep opportunity - be luxurious with your sleep and prioritize it over all else (esp. important when you start HRT, you might need more sleep as you undergo neurological changes - it really is a puberty!!)
  • get regular aerobic activity, e.g. go for a 20 - 30 minute run a few times a week; stay as active as you can - get in walks after meals, even just walking for 10 minutes can really help the body and mind
  • avoid stress and engage in stress reduction activities: take hot baths, meditate, give yourself breaks from work and enough time to come down in the evenings before bed, etc.

It's less about being perfect and more about doing what you can.

Less conventional tips:

  • blur your eyes a little or take off glasses if you have them when around the mirror, I find my brain-worms see a boy in the mirror the most when I have all the fine details, when the image is a little blurry, my mind is more likely to fill in the blanks and see the "girl gestalt" everyone else sees
  • reduce exposure to mirrors, esp. in early transition when you look the least yourself (I promise it gets better the longer you're on HRT); sometimes this just means don't obsess, but sometimes this means taking whole days off from seeing yourself.
  • spend time remembering your most euphoric and affirming moments, recall how you felt and stay with those feelings, close your eyes and replay those memories in your mind, affirm that you wish for yourself to feel this way in the future, explore what would make you feel good in the future, imagine and visualize a happy future for yourself - spend maybe 10 - 20 minutes doing this once a day. You might add affirming messages, whatever works for you.

See also:

[-] dandelion 53 points 6 months ago

Question: what is the significance of /qa/, why was the board banned in the first place, and why did the hackers bring it back?

[-] dandelion 54 points 6 months ago

Above that it mentions:

HAZARDS FOUND IN LABORATORY TESTS INCLUDE:

  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Early Puberty
  • Cardiovascular system disorders
  • Abnormal reproductive system development
  • Hormone abnormalities in children
  • Susceptibility to various cancers
  • Resistance to chemotherapy
  • Diminished intellectual capacity

Great, so receipts are going to be like our version of the leaded gasoline and mercury of past generations? ๐Ÿซ 

[-] dandelion 57 points 6 months ago

at least 10 minutes of this:

and then thousands of light kisses all over

[-] dandelion 56 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

for some reason the "y- you wouldn't" expression made me think of this bird comic, and I had to revise it (excuse my lack of skill and handwriting):

or just the bottom panel:

(Note: the original comic is by False Knees)

15
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by dandelion to c/mtf

This is a fun, high-energy song that was important to me as an egg, and finds new significance in transition. I didn't realize it was a trans-related song until much later:

Shirley Manson wrote the lyrics based loosely around two novels she had just read, Sarah, which was about a transgender prostitute,[8] and The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things, written by author Laura Albert under the pseudonym of JT LeRoy.

"I wanted to write an ode to transgender spirit, inspired by my interactions with this peculiar but emotionally generous creature I knew online as JT"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherry_Lips

Anyone else have songs that were significant to them as eggs, or are otherwise trans-related?

269
ruleifesting (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 9 months ago by dandelion to c/196

fuck, I really need to stop going to this community - I don't have enough content to keep posting ๐Ÿ˜ญ

46
submitted 9 months ago by dandelion to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

I'm getting phone calls from my health insurance company, first from a "registered nurse" with no information in the voicemail other than a call-back number (seems like it could be a scam, but I need to verify the number, so far people are saying the number is legit), and now I have a second phone call where the voicemail mentions they are calling from the insurance company's "concierge program".

Mostly I want to know if I can ignore these calls without consequence, or if I have to return them, and if so what should I expect?

380
rulesend, rulesday (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 9 months ago by dandelion to c/196

I accidentally clicked on /c/196 and now I have to post, uh - here's something Wednesday related

48
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by dandelion to c/trans

Maybe this is really silly or useless, but I was having another one of those moments looking in the mirror, analyzing my face and unable to see myself, but I discovered if I blur my vision slightly and let my field of vision become a bit more "big picture", my brain correctly genders me. Maybe this is true for others?

Sometimes I recognize how arbitrary my perception of gender is (with myself and others), and maybe it's just pragmatic to mess with your own perception when feeling down about how you look and not being able to see yourself.

I feel a bit insecure sharing this, it feels like an anti-tip to me, like saying, "are you feeling ugly? close your eyes!" - but I only share it because I actually did feel some happiness from it and it interrupted a moment of dysphoric obsessing. Can't be that bad to have a coping mechanism to do that, right?

16
submitted 9 months ago by dandelion to c/femcelmemes

Learned of Macy Rodman from s01e01 of Fantasmas, her voice tripped my trans radar.

Her musical and artistic style is a bit rough around the edges for my tastes, but I thought this song was too on the nose not to share ๐Ÿ˜„

32
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by dandelion to c/femcelmemes

does a book count as a meme? ๐Ÿค”

[-] dandelion 51 points 10 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campism

Campism is the belief that the world is divided into large, competing political groups of countries ("camps") and that people with left-wing politics should support one camp over the other camps.[1] Unlike nationalists, campists do not support any countries for reasons such as ethnicity or national identity. Instead, campists support their camp for ideological reasons, because they believe their camp promotes their ideology, such as socialism or anti-imperialism.

TIL, thank you!

33
submitted 11 months ago by dandelion to c/homecooks@vegantheoryclub.org

Delicious dipped in gravy and served with cranberry relish or something tart to offset the richness.

Insides have: roast, stuffing, mashed potatoes.

18
submitted 11 months ago by dandelion to c/homecooks@vegantheoryclub.org

I mixed water into vital wheat gluten and nutritional yeast with some spices to make a "quick" seitan. JoYo suggested pinching off pieces and frying it, but I wasn't sure how that would work or how big the pieces should be, now I realize maybe like bacon-bit sized or slightly larger?

Instead I flattened the whole dough and then fried it, making something akin to schnitzel. The problem then was that the center was uncooked while the outside was thoroughly cooked from frying. I put it in an oven at 300F for 30 minutes and it didn't seem cooked, so I put it in 350F for another 30 minutes and left it in there, and it was probably done at that point but leaving it in the warm oven it dehydrated.

So then I put it in a broth and boiled it so it would be juicy.

The texture was like I expected, seitan that hasn't been properly kneaded and pulled into long fibrous strands and allowed to sit overnight to fully develop the gluten tends to be spongey, and that's exactly how it was. The flavor wasn't too bad, and I didn't mind the texture either. I'll keep working on it, next time I'll try pinching small pieces and frying as originally instructed. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Thanks JoYo for the inspiration!

24
Sandwich! (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 11 months ago by dandelion to c/homecooks@vegantheoryclub.org

Bonus picture before the meat and lettuce went on:

Ingredients:

  • sourdough white sandwich bread I baked at home
  • watermelon rind pickles I lacto-fermented
  • tomato
  • lettuce
  • vegenaise
  • avocado
  • Beehive lunch meat
  • violife cheez
69
submitted 11 months ago by dandelion to c/trans

I socially transitioned before I started hormones, and when I went out in public wearing women's clothes, people would look at me frequently, and some people would stare at me. It was obvious I didn't pass from these kinds of responses, but I also got somewhat used to that treatment.

Over time, with hormone therapy, I get fewer and fewer instances of this. I haven't been stared at in a long time, and I think people look at me less.

At one point I would describe my experience as being a "woman shaped object" - in people's peripheral vision I looked like a normal woman, but if someone interacted with me they could tell I was trans.

I went out yesterday and got my nails done, went shopping, went out for dinner, etc. and interactions with people made me think they couldn't tell I was trans, but I just don't know whether they can actually tell or not.

While waiting in line to buy some clothes, a woman wanted to chat about how long the line was taking, and she interacted with me as though I were a normal woman - there wasn't a hint of stigma, curiosity, etc.

Anyway - this just makes me wonder: what are others' experiences with passing and not-passing, what are little clues that you aren't passing or when you are?

I assume you just can't actually tell when people are being polite vs not knowing, but maybe there are little hints.

Thanks!

155
welp. (self.trans)
submitted 11 months ago by dandelion to c/trans
[-] dandelion 60 points 1 year ago

The only time I went without a costume as a kid was because I lived in a dysfunctional household and I was super stressed and didn't have enough time or support to plan a costume - so I threw on an oversized coat and went with my friends; some adults tried to give me trouble and refused me candy, and that was a bummer because I felt like I had failed ... anyway - I guess my point is that maybe some kids are being lazy or something, but you don't really know.

I personally would definitely give kids candy regardless, but I wish people would actually trick-or-treat where I live, it makes me so sad that nobody does.

view more: โ€น prev next โ€บ

dandelion

joined 2 years ago
MODERATOR OF