nobody posted the obligatory (in my opinion) end of pi day special yet so i decided to take the liberty to do so myself :3

p.s. please don't actually swallow your titty skittles, they will be far less effective that way

previous year comments

I spent like 3 years in that subreddit without really believing I was transgender. Around 2021 I shocked myself when I responded to a bigoted comment and automatically wanted to say "we" when describing trans people. I was so immersed in trans culture and felt such an affinity for them that I was already thinking of myself as a transfem before I was ever consciously certain. Simply not knowing I wanted to be a woman held me back for my entire childhood, but because of r/traaa, I could finally graduate from ignorance to denial.

r/egg_irl had a big impact, but if hadn't spent so much time in r/traaa, then the egg memes would've scared me off. If I haven't spent so much time there, then I might not have cracked and finally gotten to experience actually living for once. If not for that safe space, I might've never been able to disarm all the internalized transphobia and gatekeeping that can be all too common in more pickme trans spaces. A big part of why blahaj.zone is so important to me is that it reminds me of that place which no longer exists.

I became trans bc someone misgendered me and I was too awkward to correct them

I'm not gonna lie, I've been depressed and hopeless for the past year, not because I feel I have nothing to live for, but because I do. I'm finally a real fucking person for the first time in my life, and I'm living through a nightmare world I somewhat expected. None of this really surprised me. I knew our future would be a horrific decline for my entire adult life, but I was prepared to face it because I didn't care whether I lived or died.

The year and a half I had as myself before I knew I'd have to live through fascism was the first time I was truly looking forward to my future. I naively hoped that I'd at least have till China invaded Taiwan to establish a life for myself without an extreme upending of the status quo, but then the worst came to pass and I knew it was only a matter of time till my future became fully criminalized.

So now all I can do is survive. To not get imprisoned and very likely die. To somehow outlast the hate directed at us and start to regain what was lost. I won't kill myself for them; they'll need to do it themselves.