It's just what I've always done...
That user has explicitly identified as a man, and used their first comment in a women's community, on a topic talking about women's safety when talking to unknown men, to try and reframe the conversation to be about how hard women are to talk to because they "bat their eyes" and use their attractiveness to get their way.
I would be less worried about them getting an apology, and more concerned with their motives for posting in that community. They are one wrong move away from an instance ban.
Interviewer: Physicists, why is string theory dead?
Physicists: It isn't
End of article
I was in a similar position to you. Painful dilation, lost depth and single. And then covid hit. And I just stopped dilating.
It's years later now, and sometimes, I feel a bit of regret. Yet when I think about going for another round of surgery to get my depth back, the idea of having to start dilating again feels really forbidding.
Ultimately, I haven't been able to have the sex life that I was hoping for. But that was true before I had bottom surgery as well. And when I look at it that way, despite that issue, the other results of bottom surgery are still there. I feel better in my skin. My dysphoria is gone. Even if the outcome wasn't perfect, and wasn't quite what I hoped for, it's still better than where I started.
All of which to say is, even if you do stop dilating, at least in my experience, it's not all doom and gloom.
And if it was a single comment, you'd have a point, but it was ongoing, repeated and deliberate arguments in a space that had explicit rules against what he was doing, rules that he understood. And rather than following the rules, or posting in other communities, he brought it up over and over again, arguing that he has the right to decide other people's identities.
And when banned for it, he made sure to keep adding flames to the fire.
Whatever else he is, he is not drama free.
I don't get it. Seeing a dick gives you psychic damage? Do straight women take damage too or is it only straight men?
If feels kinda homophobic tbh...
The truth is, no one can tell you, except for you, and often we ourselves don't know. There is no single label used to describe what you're talking about. It can be a form of non binary experience, but that involves your experience of gender, it isn't just about the physical. There's "altersex", which doesn't speak to gender at all, but it's not widely understood, and is also popular with transmedicalists who try and gatekeep other folks validity, so it can carry some unwanted assumptions in people who do recognise it.
And honestly, there is the possibility that it's not "just about genitals". There could be more to this than you're willing to admit, even to yourself.
I was similar to you. I'm a trans woman, and I spent so much of my earlier life literally wishing that I was trans specifically so I could access bottom surgery. If I could have had surgery than magically changed me down stairs, but changed nothing else, I'd have jumped at it. But, of course, there was more to it than that, I was just deep in denial... That's not to say your experience will be the same as mine. I just want to raise it as a possibility for you to think about.
It's a lot of words, but honestly, my advice is to just use whatever feels right, but without getting attached to the specific label. Use it as long as it feels right, but if it stops feeling right, give yourself permission to change it. And that's true even if the label you end up with is "cis woman who wants a dick". As long as the label is working for you, rather than against you, it's the right label
Why the fuck are people trying to justify misgendering trans women?
Transphobia. It's really that simple.
There is no tolerable amount of ads, because not only are they an awful experience, they explicitly drive user hostile growth and decisions in the future (ie enshitification).
I used to pay for YouTube to avoid ads, before I got sick of Google and refused to give them any more money. Now I use a pihole and a browser based adblocker, as well as 3rd party front ends, because fuck Google. I don't give a shit if I'm denying them income.
It changed. Back when this all went down, instance bans did not automatically issue community bans. This was a problem in the case of spammers, because it would mean that if an admin banned a user with post removal turned on, their posts would only be removed locally, and the removals wouldn't federate to other instances.
Around a year or so ago (maybe a bit earlier?) lemmy instance bans were changed to also issue community bans for any local community the account had interacted with. This meant that when an account was banned with content removal, those removals would federate to other instances for communities that were hosted on that instance.
Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?
I moved away from centralised social media, because social media owned by multinational corporations benefit from bigotry and rage, and so allow it to fester and grow. They do this by under moderating, or moderating with a bias against the people being harassed and attacked.
So the last thing I would choose to do is go to a platform/network that prides itself on lack of moderation, and requires vulnerable, targeted folk to play whack a mole, with each person having to reactively block individual bigots, one by one, after they've appeared and dumped their payload of hate.