Her: All you think about is sex! Anyway what kind of snack did you get me?

(no spoilers)

The Dragonoak Trilogy by Sam Farren is a set of three fantasy novels about the adventures of a young necromancer, in a complex and well-constructed fantasy world.

There's magical beings and dragons and stuff, but it's not quite at the level of high fantasy ... however the part that's relevant to this community is that the characters don't show jealousy in their personal relationships.

All the main characters have more than one relationship, and they fall in and out of love in an organic and captivating manner.

The author doesn't place any importance on sex, so outside of the relationships being poly (and mostly queer) it's a highly vanilla ride.

But, it's very well told, gives a wide range of genuine emotions, and the ending is a masterclass in how to finish an epic 3-book story.

It's on my favourites list for a re-read in a couple of years :-)

Story time ...

Yesterday I woke with a sore shoulder after sleeping in a funny position, so after work I headed into town to get a massage to try and fix it. The place I went to was recommended by a (male) coworker; it's a segregated sauna with other spa facilities, so I figured safe enough for me to just wander in on my own.

It's hot, so I was wearing shorts and a low-cut t-shirt, all my tattoos were on show but other than that I looked respectable.

Well, the lady behind the front desk showed me their price list in English, and I was trying to make a decision, when the manager came up and started talking to me.

I mentioned that I was only there for a massage, and he reached out and held me by the back of my neck, and then quietly told me that he could give me a big discount on their by-the-hour rooms.

Not only did he think that I was scoping the place out as somewhere to bring clients, but that I'd be cheap or inexperienced enough to go with him in exchange for a "discount" to boot. Plus, as if I'd not know about how to assert dominance over someone by touching their neck.

I got him to back off, and I got my massage, but it's been really bugging me today ... this is typical in every city around the world, and while I may have made my own choices when I was young, most girls who end up doing sex work don't.

This was an uncomfortable reminder of just how tilted the world is against women, everywhere >:-(

Are there any decent apps for finding friends these days?

When I get back from working overseas I want to put some effort into finding new friends - since while I've been away I've enjoyed socialising, and hadn't realised how little I've done at home since covid.

This would be for regular friendship, I'll keep my other activities to grindr or feeld. I also plan to try and find meetups for socialising purposes (language interchange, casual munches, LGBT groups).

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/48029296

I've found the time to work through these two books this month ... I wanted a refresher in case I got rusty or wasn't considering something important.

I realised about halfway through Slut that I'd read a previous version a long time ago. At that time I was fresh into the idea of good poly, and some of it I recognised as things I do, so I must have absorbed some info at the time.

Reading it now, though, both books are intensely focussed on an outlook of poly and kink that feels old fashioned and intensely American to me. There were some good tips, but to be honest it felt like half the content was self congratulation.

Of course, it's possible that to a newbie poly person in the US Slut might be just the thing they need, but I personally wouldn't recommend it to others.

Any thoughts?

Apparently this is a thing. I wonder if having a day marked on the calendar has helped with menstrual health ...?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/42631968

So, this is not for me, but for my wife ... long story short, she's never done this before, but has met a nice but very subby lady and wants to try some b/d d/s (but definitely no s/m).

I've tried talking her through, and demonstrating, some basic stuff, but she said it's weird learning from me ... I've given her my old copy of Learning the Ropes, but outside of that everything I've found online seems to just be porn rather than an instruction manual.

Does anyone know of additional resources for this?

So, this is not for me, but for my wife ... long story short, she's never done this before, but has met a nice but very subby lady and wants to try some b/d d/s (but definitely no s/m).

I've tried talking her through, and demonstrating, some basic stuff, but she said it's weird learning from me ... I've given her my old copy of Learning the Ropes, but outside of that everything I've found online seems to just be porn rather than an instruction manual.

Does anyone know of additional resources for this?

I'm working away from home, my spouse sent me this photo yesterday :-)

A couple of weeks ago a woman I love moved a long way away ... we only met 6 weeks before that, yet it wasn't a whirlwind romance. She's terrible at communicating remotely, so we won't ever have a long term relationship.

My spouse has lifted my spirits a lot, and reminded me that I'll always carry her in my heart. I'm happy to have had this experience, even if I'm still feeling a sense of loss over it every day as well.

So ... who else out there has had that sort of short but sweet romance? What was it like?

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/54227809

Source: https://infosec.exchange/@ryanc/115966143916087955

See also: Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol