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Contra A Review Of Dating Men In The Bay Area
(thingofthings.substack.com)
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this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2025
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WomensStuff
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Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
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What is the difference between an unwritten rule and a written rule if the effect is the same?
If anything the written rule is more fair, men here are asked not to post again and subsequently have posts removed. In other places, women are not simply asked not to post - they are harassed, brigaded, insulted, and threatened with murder and rape.
The effect is not the same. There is not even an unwritten rule to kick women out of the community. Women simply don't enjoy being in those spaces and generally leave voluntarily. Not everyone does though. There are women on 4chan, in gaming spaces, and all manner of generally-masculine-leaning spaces.
Please point me to a Lemmy community where women are asked not to post, brigaded, insulted, threatened with murder and rape. I have never been threatened with murder and rape for being a woman on lemmy. Granted, I have seen lemmites volley heinous insults and probably-not-actually-credible death threats over fairly minor political disagreements.
So, because it hasn't happened to you it doesn't exist?
I lurk on Lemmy 99.99% of the time because of previous experiences, this is my 5th username because when I first came over from Reddit I tried having the same attitude of getting stuck in to fun banter (which on Reddit did get me rape threats when I dared to post my honest opinion, but at that point I rolled with it), and several times I had men pick arguments with me over inane things which didn't seem to be a problem for men to talk about, especially on sh.it just.works
It's sucked the life out of my online involvement bit by bit, and this community is one of very few where I usually enjoy having conversations - something I credit with the ban on men posting.